nofuninsuds

Good morning everyone...

I'm very sorry to say that yesterday I relapsed and drank over a case (12-pack) of beer, ate and then went to bed. This morning, I woke up and throughout the morning I have experienced the following...

Shaky, weird and scary muscle twitches, tingly in various places, head feels like it's swimming in oil, vertigo, temp of 99.2, anxiety, multiple panic attacks, unsteady on my feet, light-headed, strange "pressure" in head (like sinus pressure or something), "out-of-it" spacey feeling, brain feels like it's in a fog, buggy-eyed, etc.

I took an Ativan and an Atenolol a little while ago but they seem to be having very little (if any) effect. I soooo much wish I had not drank those beers yesterday. I really do feel just horrible.

I tend to get very drunk and then the resulting hangover keeps me sober for days (until I start drinking all over again). Rinse and repeat. I've tried Campral with limited success and even though I was able to completely quit for a year and a half after taking Naltrexone, my doctor refuses to prescribe it because she say's "I'm not familiar with that particular drug and I don't like prescribing a drug I'm not familiar with. The thing is, I am on "poor people's insurance" and so she is the only doctor in my area who I can see.

I've tired online support groups and it helps some but just "talking" to other people (wether online or at an AA meeting, doesn't really do anything for the cravings or all the other things that lead me back to drinking again. I feel hopeless, depressed and scared.

I don't know what else to say. I just need a friend (or several) to talk to right now. Thanks for letting me share and I hope that most of you are having better luck than me quitting.

- Regards, NFIS

WantsOut

I had a drinking problem, I was not an alcoholic. However I have not had a drink in over seven years nor do I want one. I was like you with the terrible guilty hangovers and sickness. I went in that cycle of guilt and drinking for years until one thought saved me ... one simple little thought stopped years of agony.

I realized I had to remember that drinking made me feel bad when I was under the delusion it was going to make me feel good.

I hope that helps you too, hon. good luck.

BBBWpart2

God bless you! It may just be a case of the "guilts" It too shall pass. I go off and drink because my body, and mind, tell me I want to. So after work I'll have 2-4 beers, whatever money will allow, and the next morning, when I can barely roll out of bed, I curse myself for drinking. Now, at work, I can barely wait til 5 so I can grab 2 beers! And! I know this!

It's a mind thing right now. Just grab a pen & paper and write some goals down. It usually helps me to get things out.

Anna

Hi NFIS,

I know how hard it is and I sure remember how alone and depressed I felt when I was trying and failing, to stop drinking.

You can do this and reading posts here can inspire you to keep on. It has helped me enormously.

One thing I found is that the only way to get stronger is to beat the cravings. I don't there is any way around it. Each time you get through one of those experiences and do not drink, you become stronger and the next time it's a little easier.

nofuninsuds

Thank you ALL for the support and words of encouragement. It really means a lot to me. I am feeling so lonely and depressed. It is so sad to me that I relapsed. It feels so good to be sober but my mind always tricks me into thinking that I will feel "even better" if I drink. I hate the lies this disease tells us and how it keeps sucking us in like some sort of black hole.

Right now my brain feels like it was zapped by a stun gun or something. I don't have a headache but I have a lot of pressure up there (similar to sinus pressure I guess) and that is the main symptom that is scaring me and making me feel very weird. I think maybe they call this "heavy head" or "balloon head" but I'm not sure. Does anyone else here get the same symptoms I mentioned a day or two after drinking and how long do they usually last (hopefully not long)?.

Again, thank you!, NFIS

UncleEarl

I have never heard the expressions 'heavy' or 'balloon head,' but drinking definately affected my sinuses to the point where I could barely sleep (so I would opt to black out or pass out instead). I've been sober for eight days (a record for me!) and can now breathe free and easy.

You are not alone in relapsing. I suspect most of us have relapsed several times; in my case, DOZENS of times. All we can do is forgive ourselves and start over again but perhaps with a different plan. One of my old, self-defeating mottos was: Quitting is easy, I do it every day. At least one thing I've learned here is that quitting is simple, but not necessarily easy.

Keep fighting, you have more to gain than to lose.

Earl

nofuninsuds

Thank you all for the wonderful and encouraging replies!.

I am on my second day sober and although I don't feel quite as badly as I did yesterday, I have had a mild (but pesky) left-sided headache all day and I feel really "bugged out", spacey and foggy-headed. I can also feeling the withdrawal symptoms starting to creep up on me again (very mild cravings, hot flashes, an unwell feeling, anxiety and the feeling like my body just "wants" or "needs" something).

I hope I can last until day 4 or 5 because that's usually when I begin to feel normal again. I am back on the Campral also.

- Thanks again everyone for your support! - NFIS

nogard

Welcome to SR

TamTam

Good luck NFIS- keep coming back

CarolD

Each time I returned to drinking..and there were many!
my de toxing was worse than before. UGH!

But the good thing is...
this can be the final misery for you!

Let us know how you are doing..we do understand.

Blessings

hope3

Hi NFIS, I'm so sorry you are feeling so bad.

Start anew, I'm pulling for you...............Yesterdays gone,
but today...........yes today.....................best wishes, Hope3.

mikel60

Hi NFIS,
It will get better. I was quite a heavy drinker, but more of the binge variety. As a result I think that my body was used to a few days off every once in a while. When I quit the loss of a hangover all the time made me feel much more alert and alive. That was me.
If you can get past this tough early time, you'll see that it is all really worth it. Keep plugging and try to keep away from the beers. That's what it all boils down to.
Mike in Boston

stone

Me too, my hangovers can put me in bed for 2 days after a binge, I have one or 2 day good days then I do it again. Sometimes I do a 2 day binge and have even worse hangovers, so even though I drink once or twice a week, my whole week is ruined because of it.

I also get all the symtoms you describe.

I am seeing my doctor to talk about detox etc on tuesday.

All I can say is keep at it, one day at a time.
Good luck.