Day 5 again..first time posting
Day 5 again..first time posting
First post but have been around. I started coming to this site since 11/06. I want and have to stop drinking. I have drank for the last 20 or so years I usually drink everyday. The only time I ever stopped was when I got pregnant and it wasn’t even hard I didn’t give it a second thought but as soon as I had my daughter 12 yrs ago there I was drinking again. I have been trying to stop on and off ever since. I have been reading the posts since 11/06 because I was really determined and reading these posts really help. I only made it 3 days and then said well The Holidays are here and it is not a good time. I decided to drink and quit on New years day. That lasted 2 days. Everytime I drink when I wake in the morning I have this feeling of doom and dread starting my day. I am on day 5 now and hanging by a thread.
Day 1- Went to be early had night sweats through the night
Day 2- Wasn’t so bad…I can do this
Day 3- Always is the worst for me I start convincing myself well maybe I could just control how much I drink or just do it on the weekends…This time I stayed strong – Thank you God!!
Day 4…Its Friday…What am I gonna do I can do this I can do this- went to bed early
Day 5 Saturday…How in the world am I gonna live without alcohol I will never have that buzz again I am never gonna make it Give me strength Lord! I am posting this now and think I will go to bed..how am I gonna do this. ?
Thanks for listening
Do Over
Day 1- Went to be early had night sweats through the night
Day 2- Wasn’t so bad…I can do this
Day 3- Always is the worst for me I start convincing myself well maybe I could just control how much I drink or just do it on the weekends…This time I stayed strong – Thank you God!!
Day 4…Its Friday…What am I gonna do I can do this I can do this- went to bed early
Day 5 Saturday…How in the world am I gonna live without alcohol I will never have that buzz again I am never gonna make it Give me strength Lord! I am posting this now and think I will go to bed..how am I gonna do this. ?
Thanks for listening
Do Over
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome Do Over...glad to see you posted!
I did my do over so often it almost cost me my sanity.
My mind stayed in depression mode from being saturated
with alcohol.
that feeling od doom you described was with me each
hour I was awake.
Finally...in pure desperation I started AA.
My depression left quikly and has not returned.
I do hope you find your way Sobriety Rocks!
I did my do over so often it almost cost me my sanity.
My mind stayed in depression mode from being saturated
with alcohol.
that feeling od doom you described was with me each
hour I was awake.
Finally...in pure desperation I started AA.
My depression left quikly and has not returned.
I do hope you find your way Sobriety Rocks!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: TN
Posts: 1,372
You can do it, you have come SO far, keep posting and keep fighting!! You are doing a great job so keep doing it, we are here for you to help in any way and we are all in the same boat, so you have friends to support and symptahize!!!! Lots of love from this way!!!!!!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Recovery
Posts: 3,229
You are taking big steps for your future.
You can do this!
I'd recommend AA because the support is fantastic.
They will help you learn to live a whole new wonderful sober life.
You'll get a life beyond your wildest dreams.
Give it a chance.
Keep posting!
You can do this!
I'd recommend AA because the support is fantastic.
They will help you learn to live a whole new wonderful sober life.
You'll get a life beyond your wildest dreams.
Give it a chance.
Keep posting!
Hello Do Over,
5 Days is great going. Listen to everybody and try AA.
Please keep posting and let us all know how you are doing.
We are in this together for each other. With a little time life will be so much better.
http://www.aabroward.org/meetings.php
5 Days is great going. Listen to everybody and try AA.
Please keep posting and let us all know how you are doing.
We are in this together for each other. With a little time life will be so much better.
http://www.aabroward.org/meetings.php
Day 6 Drank
Thanks for your words of encourgement. Day 6 I drank. I am so mad at myself because now I am back in this cycle. I rationalize with myself like today is friday so I will quit again on Monday it will be easier. The fact is nothing about this is easy and I am feeling so discouraged. I looked up when there are AA meetings the only thing is I work and would have to go during the evening would need to leave my daughter at home and I dont want to tell my husband where I am going. We dont have a good marriage and I dont want him to know because if I fail he will throw it in my face. He doesnt drink but smokes pot we both have addictive personalities and if we dont get a handle on this I am sure my daughter is going to follow suit. It freaks me out that I am being so blantly honest I guess it is easy when your at home on a pc. These posts have helped. It gives me encouragment to know that I am not the only one going through this and others feel the same ...discouraged and desperate I am so tired of being sick and tired. Thanks for listening
Do Over
Do Over
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: de pere, wisconsin
Posts: 23
doover??
Hey doover! Let me say a couple of things. You dont want to tell your husband where you are going? Ah secrecy, its a true trait of alcoholics and addicts. I know, and so does every other addict. You cant bull**** a bull******!! Be true to yourself! How important is a new life without booze to you? How open can you make your mind be to other people in recovery?
Your afraid your daughter will follow your guys behavior? Then break the chain of addiction....just one day at a time. Its not a corny saying, its how I got my years and years of sobriety. I'm no shining example, because it was and is a struggle, but the benefits of a new life, new minmd-set, and new outlook on things is so refreshing!!! Be open with yourself and everyone around you. If there is love there will be support for you! Never Never Never ever ever ever....give up. You deserve to be content and happy. Life is what you make of it...and being sober makes it much more enjoyable. But that takes time. You need to make recovery your #1 priority and the sooner...the better for you and everyone you love. My support and best wishes!!
Your afraid your daughter will follow your guys behavior? Then break the chain of addiction....just one day at a time. Its not a corny saying, its how I got my years and years of sobriety. I'm no shining example, because it was and is a struggle, but the benefits of a new life, new minmd-set, and new outlook on things is so refreshing!!! Be open with yourself and everyone around you. If there is love there will be support for you! Never Never Never ever ever ever....give up. You deserve to be content and happy. Life is what you make of it...and being sober makes it much more enjoyable. But that takes time. You need to make recovery your #1 priority and the sooner...the better for you and everyone you love. My support and best wishes!!
do over...
what worked for me was fess'n up with the fess ups... first to me... then the rest of the world...
it was easy to say... hey, i'm a alky... the hard part was "accepting it"... once that was adressed.. all the rest follow'd...
and scratchy... right in the pocket... yep, cant BS a BS'r...
good wishes DO...
xxoo, zip
what worked for me was fess'n up with the fess ups... first to me... then the rest of the world...
it was easy to say... hey, i'm a alky... the hard part was "accepting it"... once that was adressed.. all the rest follow'd...
and scratchy... right in the pocket... yep, cant BS a BS'r...
good wishes DO...
xxoo, zip
Hi Do Over, My name is Sharon L. and I'm a recovering alcoholic.
I have been sober a short 53 days, and am very thankful to my new family here at SR-you included.
I would like to share a couple of things with you. First I slipped over the last 4 years, how many times I don't know, because half the time when I told my lover I was going to quit it was only to appease her. I didn't really have a true commitment yet.
However 53 days ago I was ready to really commit-I knew because I made a list: all the reasons I wanted to quit and what would happen if I didn't. I planned for the urge times: what to do instead of drink or who to contact to talk me out of it if I wasn't listening to me.
I posted on these boards for encouragement and to encourage others.
I have the support of my lover-whom I can talk to about anything.
She is reading everything I am (Under the Influence) & (Beyond the Influence)
I am also reading A Woman’s way Through the Twelve Steps. By Stephanie S. Covington Ph. D.
Do- Over I like your name, one of these times it will stick- keep coming back try some of the advice of others that you feel comfortable with.
I'm betting on you-you can and will do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have been sober a short 53 days, and am very thankful to my new family here at SR-you included.
I would like to share a couple of things with you. First I slipped over the last 4 years, how many times I don't know, because half the time when I told my lover I was going to quit it was only to appease her. I didn't really have a true commitment yet.
However 53 days ago I was ready to really commit-I knew because I made a list: all the reasons I wanted to quit and what would happen if I didn't. I planned for the urge times: what to do instead of drink or who to contact to talk me out of it if I wasn't listening to me.
I posted on these boards for encouragement and to encourage others.
I have the support of my lover-whom I can talk to about anything.
She is reading everything I am (Under the Influence) & (Beyond the Influence)
I am also reading A Woman’s way Through the Twelve Steps. By Stephanie S. Covington Ph. D.
Do- Over I like your name, one of these times it will stick- keep coming back try some of the advice of others that you feel comfortable with.
I'm betting on you-you can and will do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I went to a meeting
Thanks for all your encouragement.
I went to a meeting today I managed to go on my lunch hour. I know I am going to have to be honest with my husband and tell him its just when we argue and he throws things in my face it makes me want to drink. If I fail I will never hear the end of it. Today someone said How can someone make you want to drink poison so well put it really hit home. I didnt share and felt very intimidated I cant picture myself speaking so openly. I did get my white chip.
Scratchy I appreciate your post you hit the nail on the head. I know I am an alcoholic and thinks no one else knows I am one I have only been drinking for 20 yrs and have done some really stupid stuff. Why am I so embarassed for anyone to know that I am an alcoholic and trying to quit.
Well today is day 1 for me again. Since I have been coming to this site 11/06 I have had more day ones then I have had in years. I have to do this for myself and my daughter. Its only 4 pm and I am feeling so discouraged. I guess because it is the time I get off of work and start drinking.
Im gonna keep going to meetings and reading this posts.
Thanks everyone for your encouragement
Do Over
I went to a meeting today I managed to go on my lunch hour. I know I am going to have to be honest with my husband and tell him its just when we argue and he throws things in my face it makes me want to drink. If I fail I will never hear the end of it. Today someone said How can someone make you want to drink poison so well put it really hit home. I didnt share and felt very intimidated I cant picture myself speaking so openly. I did get my white chip.
Scratchy I appreciate your post you hit the nail on the head. I know I am an alcoholic and thinks no one else knows I am one I have only been drinking for 20 yrs and have done some really stupid stuff. Why am I so embarassed for anyone to know that I am an alcoholic and trying to quit.
Well today is day 1 for me again. Since I have been coming to this site 11/06 I have had more day ones then I have had in years. I have to do this for myself and my daughter. Its only 4 pm and I am feeling so discouraged. I guess because it is the time I get off of work and start drinking.
Im gonna keep going to meetings and reading this posts.
Thanks everyone for your encouragement
Do Over
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Iowa
Posts: 18
I'm glad you're back, Do over. We'll have our day 1's together. I know what you mean about it being 4:00 and the bewitching hour is upon us. Hope to see you posting tomorrow - I'm going to try as hard as I can.
Hi Doover and I needalife
I guess I am joining the both of you on a Day 1. I was sober last year for 5 and half months then I slipped. Last night I made my mind up that I am going to go back to AA and quit drinking. HOpefully I get it right this time. We are all in this together so lets keep posting and keep up on our fight to beat this disease
Today I have not had a drink. and I will not have one today.
Mike
I guess I am joining the both of you on a Day 1. I was sober last year for 5 and half months then I slipped. Last night I made my mind up that I am going to go back to AA and quit drinking. HOpefully I get it right this time. We are all in this together so lets keep posting and keep up on our fight to beat this disease
Today I have not had a drink. and I will not have one today.
Mike
Do Over, it took me a long time to final get to the point where there were no more day ones and there were days 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, week 1, 2, 3, 4, month 1, 2, 3, 4, etc.
The point is not to quit trying. Try to learn from your slip ups and to hold yourself accountable. No matter how hard it is, think about things that are more important to you ... your daughter... living to a ripe old age... etc. these are things that can help get you through.
If your marriage is really unhappy and really codependent, you may have to get out of it. For your sake and your daughter's sake.
Peace, Levi
The point is not to quit trying. Try to learn from your slip ups and to hold yourself accountable. No matter how hard it is, think about things that are more important to you ... your daughter... living to a ripe old age... etc. these are things that can help get you through.
If your marriage is really unhappy and really codependent, you may have to get out of it. For your sake and your daughter's sake.
Peace, Levi
Sober day 2
Thanks,
Today is only day 2 and when that bewitching hour came after work did my mind play games with me. I avoided stopping at the grocery store at all costs because I probaly would of found myself in the wine aisle. When I think of never being able to drink again it is too overwhelming. I am trying to take everyones advice even one day at a time is to much from 5pm- 8pm is the hardest once I get to 8pm I think I can do it. I know it is gonna get easier. I am so glad I found this site it really has helped.
Do over
Today is only day 2 and when that bewitching hour came after work did my mind play games with me. I avoided stopping at the grocery store at all costs because I probaly would of found myself in the wine aisle. When I think of never being able to drink again it is too overwhelming. I am trying to take everyones advice even one day at a time is to much from 5pm- 8pm is the hardest once I get to 8pm I think I can do it. I know it is gonna get easier. I am so glad I found this site it really has helped.
Do over
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oklahoma City, OK
Posts: 5
I'm on day 4 myself. It's a hard slog so far. My last sober days were a few weeks ago. I started drinking again and stopped posting. The same cycle as before played out -- me thinking I could drink in moderation, only to end up plastered by 5 p.m. -- and I decided to give sobriety another try. Got my 24 hours recovery coin the other day. Boy, I just wish the whining in my head would go away.
Good luck with your recovery.
Good luck with your recovery.
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