can you have too much recovery? help.
fast eddie
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: ohios north coast
Posts: 12
can you have too much recovery? help.
i havent been to sr for a month,the last time i had just came back from a meeting. my wife got realy mad and told me to pack my **** and get out.so i did. im having a hard time with this as she is the one that got together with the court and decided i needed to go to treatment and aa.once i got here i realised i realy needed to be here! im trying to do what i need to do but this is realy getting in my head i need some advice if any one can help.im having to go to the library to use a computer so i cant reply riteaway thanks in advance eddie
Old & Sober Member of AA
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Nursing Home in Brick, New Jersey
Posts: 5,174
Your initial question was
Can you be too healthy? Can you be too sane? Can you be too happy?
Can you have too much SERENITY? Can you have too much COURAGE? Can you have too much WISDOM?
I don't think so! I hope I never get so "well" that I con myself into believing I no longer need AA/SR or any of the people in both who can recognize and call me on my sh$$!
Don't worry about not being able to get back to us right away, fstedy...SR is open 24/7!
can you have too much recovery?
Can you have too much SERENITY? Can you have too much COURAGE? Can you have too much WISDOM?
I don't think so! I hope I never get so "well" that I con myself into believing I no longer need AA/SR or any of the people in both who can recognize and call me on my sh$$!
Don't worry about not being able to get back to us right away, fstedy...SR is open 24/7!
Belgian Sheepdog Adictee
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
Posts: 6,101
Ok eddie, glad you are sober.
Please bear in mind, that just because we stop drinking, everything isn't going to be all right, right away. It takes time to clear up the 'wreckage of our past'. During our drinking careers we hurt and abused many, espicially family and our partners.
Continue going to your meetings, to your therapist, (if you have one) and working with your sponsor. It's baby steps Eddie. Hopefully your wife will also get therapy for herself. We put our spouses and mates thru hell.
Your actions, not your words, will show her you are changing. It will take time. The best thing you can do for you and her is to concentrate on your own recovery. Working on you. Getting you well. Down the line, other problems will work out one way or another.
Keep posting when you can, and let us know how you are doing, we do care.
Love and hugs,
Please bear in mind, that just because we stop drinking, everything isn't going to be all right, right away. It takes time to clear up the 'wreckage of our past'. During our drinking careers we hurt and abused many, espicially family and our partners.
Continue going to your meetings, to your therapist, (if you have one) and working with your sponsor. It's baby steps Eddie. Hopefully your wife will also get therapy for herself. We put our spouses and mates thru hell.
Your actions, not your words, will show her you are changing. It will take time. The best thing you can do for you and her is to concentrate on your own recovery. Working on you. Getting you well. Down the line, other problems will work out one way or another.
Keep posting when you can, and let us know how you are doing, we do care.
Love and hugs,
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: syracuse,ny
Posts: 99
you are not alone, I wasn't coming here today, because I felt I was maybe overdoing it. I came anyway and you made me think "well I certainly spent enough time abusing, I need to keep focused on my goals and work equually hard at staying clean. you helped me. keep up the good work on yourself and things will even out.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: fumbling towards ecstasy
Posts: 2,551
Originally Posted by gettingbetter 
you are not alone, I wasn't coming here today, because I felt I was maybe overdoing it. I came anyway and you made me think "well I certainly spent enough time abusing, I need to keep focused on my goals and work equually hard at staying clean. you helped me. keep up the good work on yourself and things will even out.
Keep your focus on your recovery, Eddie. The rest will work itself out. Honest.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 3,812
Im sorry your struggling with your wife Eddie....
I dont know the answers from your side of the playing field, but I can tell you a little about how I felt on the other side.
It was more a bottom for me when he got sober, Yes I wanted him to be sober and I wanted him to work his program.... but I also wanted to be important to him, I wanted the man I fell in love with back, I wanted to feel safe and appreciated. I did not understand that he had nothing to give me at the time.
He went to meetings all the time, then out with his AA friends, conferences, guys AA weekends and I felt excluded. I would try to talk to him and I did not "get it" cuz I was not an alcoholic... he would not talk to me about his recovery and even when he loosened up some and did talk I struggled because it was always about him. It was killing me.
Maybe its best to be seperate while your in the early stages. She might want to think about going to Al-anon or getting some help too... and take this time to work on herself. It sounds like neither of you have anything to give to the other right now, so being together might feel like salt in the wound to her.
Hope that helps some.
I dont know the answers from your side of the playing field, but I can tell you a little about how I felt on the other side.
It was more a bottom for me when he got sober, Yes I wanted him to be sober and I wanted him to work his program.... but I also wanted to be important to him, I wanted the man I fell in love with back, I wanted to feel safe and appreciated. I did not understand that he had nothing to give me at the time.
He went to meetings all the time, then out with his AA friends, conferences, guys AA weekends and I felt excluded. I would try to talk to him and I did not "get it" cuz I was not an alcoholic... he would not talk to me about his recovery and even when he loosened up some and did talk I struggled because it was always about him. It was killing me.
Maybe its best to be seperate while your in the early stages. She might want to think about going to Al-anon or getting some help too... and take this time to work on herself. It sounds like neither of you have anything to give to the other right now, so being together might feel like salt in the wound to her.
Hope that helps some.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Murrieta, Ca
Posts: 2,683
If I'm not looking for work, or spending time with my kids, I'm helping another alkie and/or working on my recovery.
And actually, a lot of the time, my recovery comes first. I've beent old to focus on that, and everything else will fall in line, eventually.
And actually, a lot of the time, my recovery comes first. I've beent old to focus on that, and everything else will fall in line, eventually.
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