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Starting Over Again!

Old 01-11-2007, 12:41 PM
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Starting Over Again!

What’s wrong with me? I don’t understand, maybe I’m not supposed to though. Maybe I’m just supposed to accept my failure at face value and move on. I posted on Monday about how I went home at lunch and poured out every bit of liquor I had. I felt really good about it too, until that night when I wanted a drink so bad it wasn’t even funny. I had no money at the time so I roughed it. Got up the next morning and for once in a long time was happy with myself. Well, anyway my mom gave me some money to help me out. You think I used it all wisely? I’m sure you all know what I did with at least some of it. Yep, went to the liquor store. Needless to say I ended up wasted.

Didn’t really beat myself up too bad for it. Can’t keep dwelling on the past. Going to pick myself up and start over. Back to day one. Thanks for letting me talk.
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Old 01-11-2007, 12:44 PM
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Welcome to day 1 harleygirl. Keep moving forward. Glad you're back!
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Old 01-11-2007, 12:46 PM
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Today is a new day, congrats on taking hold of it. One step at a time
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Old 01-11-2007, 12:51 PM
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just keep tryin harleygirl

I'm on day 15 after a Christmas night fiasco
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Old 01-11-2007, 01:16 PM
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Hi Harleygirl,

It's a tough disease, but you can learn from what happened and move on.
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Old 01-11-2007, 01:50 PM
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Hi Harleygirl, believe me their is nothing wrong with you! you are going through a process most of us have been through. Keep going and one day something will click and you will be on a wonderful journey. Are you seeking any help?
keep on digging deep, Dave
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Old 01-11-2007, 02:36 PM
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Do you have a new plan for sobriety?

Glad to see you did not die from drinking
this time.
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Old 01-11-2007, 04:36 PM
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So far I'm trying to do this on my own. Not sure if that's the best way or not but the only avenue I have right now. I don't seem to be doing so well at it. I am going to look for a meeting in my area tomorrow. I DO want to start with that. Thanks to all who have already given me such wonderful support and advise.
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Old 01-11-2007, 04:52 PM
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Originally Posted by harleygirl74 View Post
So far I'm trying to do this on my own. Not sure if that's the best way or not but the only avenue I have right now. I don't seem to be doing so well at it. I am going to look for a meeting in my area tomorrow. I DO want to start with that. Thanks to all who have already given me such wonderful support and advise.
Well...if you haven't really had a plan before now, and it didn't work too well...maybe you've learned a valuable lesson which will prevent another relapse.

Getting to meetings, reaching out, collecting phone numbers (and using them), in addition to keeping in touch through SR...anything and everything you do to get and stay sober!!!

The next time you feel the urge, instead of picking up a bottle...pick up the phone! It works!
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Old 01-11-2007, 06:22 PM
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There comes a time when we know we can't say no and we ask for help. Sometimes, it's asking another human being. Sometimes, it's hitting our knees and crying out to the power of the universe. I think it amounts to the same thing -- but that's me.

"You're either on the bus or you're off the bus."

I finally saw that the bus was going around in circles. I got off the bus.

I hope you do, too.

Peace & Love,
Sugah
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Old 01-12-2007, 05:36 AM
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Originally Posted by harleygirl74 View Post
So far I'm trying to do this on my own. Not sure if that's the best way or not but the only avenue I have right now. I don't seem to be doing so well at it. I am going to look for a meeting in my area tomorrow. I DO want to start with that. Thanks to all who have already given me such wonderful support and advise.
Hon do not give up on giving up. I will tell you what I did.

I drank for 40 years, the last 10 years I spent trying to control or quit my drinking and was a miserable failure no matter what I tried on my own or how hard I tried, I finally knew I could not do it on my own but I didn't know what to do so I put myself into de-tox, once I was really sober after about 4-5 days (Well as sober as one can be after 40 years of drinking), I decided upon the de-tox centers reccomendation of AA if I was serious about staying sober to go to AA. Well here I am still in AA and have been sober 116 days straight and I am happier then I have been in 30 years. All of that thanks to AA and my Higher Power.

Hon you may find it easier going to a meeting if you know someone, why don't you call your AA hotline in your area, not only can they tell you where all the meetings in your area are, you could really bless someone by asking for them to give you a ride to a meeting or meeting you there. When you go to the meeting go early and let one of the ladies there know it is your first meeting and some old drunk guy told you to ask them about a sponsor! LOL
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Old 01-12-2007, 06:23 AM
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Originally Posted by harleygirl74 View Post
What’s wrong with me?

Didn’t really beat myself up too bad for it. Can’t keep dwelling on the past. Going to pick myself up and start over. Back to day one. Thanks for letting me talk.
Harley...

Whats wrong with you???

Your an alcoholic....

Its nothing to be ashamed of. We are all in the same boat here. We all have a single goal, to get sober...

Your second paragraph sounds like you have a good plan in place!!!

Best of luck to you and your sobriety...

Stay Strong and Positive...

One day at a time.

Steve

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Old 01-14-2007, 05:54 AM
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Hi harleygirl, I did the same thing several times, throwing away wine, I even went back to one scene where I threw it to try to retrieve it, but couldn't find it. So I had to go buy more, bummer huh. Duh.............

The addicted mind works in screwed up ways...........

I can't do this alone, I have my lover, my Psychiatrist, and my new friends and family here at SR.

Just know that I am praying for you, and one of these times when you throw out the booze it will stay thrown out.......Best wishes Hope3............
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Old 01-14-2007, 06:06 AM
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Hi harleygirl, I just made a very similar post as you, personally I know I need help. I am so far gone now I probably need help with a detox as well as a support group afterwards.
Maybe you can do this on your own but why not see what help is available and just go and check it out?
Nothing to lose, lots to gain.
Well done for not quitting the quitting.
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Old 01-16-2007, 01:46 PM
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Slipped again

That is the desease, odds are against for success (thats how powerful this desease is). However, there is something out there if followed as a way of life can give us a daily reprieve from the horrors of yet to come.

A.A. has been proven many times over that it works, AA and the grace of my higher power have given me the chance to not drink or drug for 17 years. When I practice the principles of the 12 steps on a daily basis - WOW. Read page 30 & 31 in the big book.

You have right now and AA, go for it...
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