BrandiK

That is something I have been saying a lot lately. How amazing is it when the foggy and distructive stinkin' drinkin' thinkin' looses it's strong illusions!

I was going through my daily grumpy "I should be drunk now" time. Not so bad today, because I had made arrangment to go to a meeting tonight (If I have something planned the cravings are not so bad). However, I was stressing myself out thinking about how my going to a meeting is stressful on my family etc.

We had just gotten home and were putting away groceries. I was not, to put it midly, doing all that great. I think, no, I know (honesty) that I was looking for a reason to drink. I asked my husband, "Do you hate my recovery plan? The meetings?" He, being the good man he is, said, "No. You do what you need to do." (hummm....ok...that approach isn't going to get me a drink. Let's go from the clincher!) "Do you like me not drinking? I mean, do you prefer me like I was? We always drank together. Do you still like me sober?" (That ought to do it! We met drunk after all...) and he say's, again the great man he is, "Actually, I like you better this way." (Awww...he's just being nice) "Honestly babe? Because you know you can always be honest with me."
And then...he got honest. I almost cried, he was so honest, but took it all because I obviously needed to hear it.

"I dont miss calling home at noon to you being drunk"
"I hated coming home"
"Our kids were out of control, they knew when you were drinking"
"You were a moody drunk b**ch"
"You acted crazy"
"You were not my wife"

and it just went on from there. He followed by saying he likes me being nice, he likes me putting the kids first again, he likes me not sick all the time, and on and on.

Another thing: My old drinking buddy. She was not talking about drinking anymore. I told her it was ok, I wasn't judging her for drinking. She said he had not been drinking. I asked her why. "I only drank with you Brandi"
"Oh. No? Really?"
"Yes dear. And I could never keep up with you."
"Oh."
And in my mind I thought..."wow. I thought she was a drunk."

Pretty amazing to have things in perspective...ok, off to a meeting. My husband is going with me tonight...it'll be different to put him in the view of supportive!

have a good clean night!

NYCGirl

Brandi that's so fabulous to have someone so supportive and to know that all of the hard work is showing and it's really paying off.
Good for you.
You deserve to be so proud of yourself, have a great meeting.

CarolD

Keep moving forward..
the best is yet to be!

Blessings to you and your family

hope3

Dear Brandi, that was beautiful. And yes that really is putting things into
perspective. Best wishes, Hope3.

BrandiK

There was no meeting last night. Either it was canceled (which seems odd) or I was in the wrong place (more likely). But husband is still supportive of me going tonight

Thanks everyone

Jersey Nonny

I'm sorry you missed last night's meeting, Brandi. I can't believe they would have cancelled it...in all the years I was able to get to meetings, only one was cancelled because the boiler blew! Then many of the folks who showed up for the meeting, adjourned to the nearest diner, where we had our coffee and a meeting. Alcoholics are determined...especially recovering ones.

Occasionally meetings do close, or have to move to another meeting place. Do they have an up-to-date meeting book where you go? It's always good to have one. I used to keep a couple at home, one in the glove compartment, and a couple in my purse. The ones in my purse were to give to newcomers with my phone number.

Enjoy your meetings, Brandi...I miss being able to go to them myself. SR has become my on-line meeting place.