blind eye

Hi all. I'm new here. I guess I'm just looking for an opportunity to vent.

A 20+ year drinking addiction of my mother is just coming to a head this Christmas. Though I was aware of the problem, I just couldn't work up the courage to do anything in the past.

20 years later, my brother's home from away, my dad is thinking about leaving and my mother continues to sneak alcohol. She says "Let's just get through Christmas and then I'll do something about it"

She tells me that she's suicidal. She tells everyone else (who she thinks she's fooling) that she's sick. She's not eating and she's blacking out.

I want to take her to the hospital and have her admitted for physical and emotional ailments. Her body just seems to be shutting down. I know the drinking is something she has to decide to stop.

She's viscious with Dad which has him listening to her somewhat when she requests that we leave her alone until after the holidays. Christmas is already ruined, how much worse could it get?

GlassPrisoner

It can, and may, get a lot worse.

Unfortunately, until she decides she needs help, there's nothing to be done.

I've picked this up from the friends and family forums (which you should visit)

You didn't cause it
You can't control it
You can't cure it

I can only hope your mother comes to terms quickly and seeks help.

P.S., I was "sick" alot too when I was still drinking.

miss communicat

Welcome Blind Eye,


I am sorry you are going through such a painful situation with your family, especially at the holidays. There is another Forum here called friends and Families of alcoholics that is wonderful.

Feel free to go check them out too.

More people will be along soon who can offer you some of their experience, strength and hope. We all have been affected by the dideases of addiction and alcoholism, and the good news is there IS hope in recovery!!!


Best wishes to you!~

hope3

Welcome Blindeye, bless your heart. I agree with miss communicate that you might find the friends and family forum very comforting and helpful.

After my partner set limits for me and decided she neede to follow some of the learnings of alanon-it helped me see what a real problem I had.

Bless you and I wish you the best, Hope3.

ayla zaire

blindeye...my mother was an alcoholic for many years...she had 2 years of sobriety before she passed away this year...i know how hard this is for you, but please remember that while it is so sad to watch, there really is nothing you can do for her unless she wants help...except maybe an intervention...call your local aa and they can help you with that...

my mother drank heavily for many years...she was i guess 'functional', only because she never got into any trouble, lost any jobs, etc. because of her drinking...in fact, she successfully hid her problem from her extended family and friends for many years...she could not hide it from me, of course...

i finally found peace within myself when i chose to forgive her, and realised that there was not a single thing i could do to convince her she had a problem...she was very much in denial...i chose to work on myself and let go of the responsibility i felt for her...it is very freeing when you learn to let go and realise that they have no control...they may not mean to hurt you or themselves..addiction is a complicated and selfish disease that clouds the mind and convinces the addict that they are only hurting themselves...

good luck to you and i hope things work out for you and your mother...

blind eye

Thank you all for your replies.

It's great to have found a place where people can relate to what's going on. I'm sure that I'll continue to visit.

I'm going to find a local Al-anon group also. Only being able to watch someone spiral out of control is horrible. What's worse, watching those around her being affected also.

Thanks again for your kind words. I'll keep in touch.

Jersey Nonny

I was your Mom (or a variation thereof) 27 years ago. You asked how it could get worse. It can, of course...a fatal accident, with herself or an innocent bystander the victim...kidney failure, wet brain, etc., etc.

I used to say the only worse thing to having an alcoholic parent was for my kids to have two alcoholic parents...and, they did...for many years. Fortunately, we both got sober through AA; but, not before the kids were pretty much grown.

Your decision to try Al-Anon for yourself is excellent...I wish you well.