new, full of question, feeling lonely
 

ive been sober for 2 weeks and i havent told my friends yet. i have avoided going out to resist temptation. my entire social life is based around drinking and i dont know how to have friendships without alcohol. what am i supposed to do every weekend? my friends are heavy drinkers, but none of them are alcoholics. i feel if i asked one of them to come to the movies on a saturday night with me instead of going to a bar, i would be such a burden. i feel so isolated and i can not imagine having a sober life outside of going to work and coming home. i have only been to 2 meetings, and i havent seen anyone my age(23) to become friends with. i just want one sober friend around my age to watch a movie with, or get some dinner.i think it would make the weekend easier. is it possible? it is a good idea? will i feel like an outast forever?

Hi KM- welcome to sr. My whole life is also centered around drinking. It is very scary to realize I need to learn how to live sober. I have told a few friends and they have all been very supportive. I would say try to find other meetings to visit. I'm sure you will make a connection to someone.
Keep coming back, it really helps to be here.

km7... welcome...

glad to see your looking at the problem at a early age...

i did it the long hard way... a life time of aloneness in my head...

see if theirs a young peoples group in your area...

km7 km, what worked for me was working on me first... and the hopes and dreams... become possabilities...

for me, now a reality...

good wishes km

xxoo, rz

Welcome to SR!

It's wonderful to see you are choosing to be sober
Congratulations!

I had the same situation plus I worked in bars/restaurants.
I did quit that for office work

When I began AA I lived in Washington D.C.
I found a group that was mostly singles
and we had a blast getting /staying sober together.

During my 3 years in that group...we went for coffee
after a meeting.. lunched..attended AA dances..rented a
car for out of town meetings..hiked..went to the theater..
movies were a weekend happening.

I think of that time as "AA dating"
meaning we did things together..no pairing off.

And we started Step work..AA service work..called each
other when we hit a snag..
We stayed sober!!

I suggest you find a Friday and/or Saturday night group
and check it out.

Hello KM7 - I have a 22 year old daughter in recovery from alcholism for close to 90 days. We live in a big urban like you, Chicago. Our local AA group has meetings especially for young people. And then meetings for women only as well. I'd think you'd have the same resources in your area?
My daughter trys different meetings all the time, and is meeting a lot of nice folks to socialize/connect with.

She also has ended most of her old friendships, as her friends were all drinking buddies who can't relate to her new way of thinking. It's hard at first, and then new folks come into your life through the fellowship of AA. Lots of nice people there, just keep going back!

Good for you for working on sobriety! Blessings - K

YOUNG PEOPLE IN RECOVERY
Our Lady of Good Council Church
915 Putnam Ave
*Trad last Wed., †Beg 1st Sat.,11221

It looks like this Brooklyn group meets on Wednesday's at 7pm and Saturday's at 530pm. I found it on the Brooklyn AA website.

Welcome to SR!

KM, find a meeting you like and a group of people you can relate to. I too felt like an outcast for a long time, but as time went on I learned to open up and reach out. Like Rusty Zipper mentioned, work on you first, and a world of possibilities will open up.

I was fortunate in finding my AA home at the first meeting I tried. It was months before I felt like I belonged, but now I can't imagine living any other way. My life is richer than I thought was possible, I have more true friends than I'd ever dreamed of having, and there's never really a moment when I feel alone.

Stick with it. There is a life without alcohol that's freely offered to anyone. I'm glad you're here.

Scott

You will find people your age if you just stick with it. Try different meetings as well. Some are more of an older group, others are younger. Still others mix in all ages.

In terms of normal, you might be surprised if you asked one of your drinking buddies to go to a movie. Often times, some of them may be struggling, just like you, and be afraid to talk about it. Perhaps you can approach one of your close friends and just ask about a movie, no booze.

Peace, Levi

PS congrats on the two weeks.

thank you everyone, i feel so supported here. i am going to check out the young persons meeting, i was not aware there was such a thing . ill keep working on myself. hopefully ill find someone to connect to

The first meeting I went to about 4 days ago there was a young lady there who has amassed 2yrs of sobriety and she isn't of legal age to drink yet. Truly amazing. I would think that being in a major city you should be able to find just about any type of meeting you wanted.

KM, when I came into AA last year my greatest fears were of loneliness around the Holiday season. I feared I'd have to celebrate Christmas without my family and friends.

That first year I attended meals at my Fellowship Hall for Thanksgiving and Christmas, attended an alcothon on Christmas Eve, and went to an AA New Years Eve dinner & dance. Never for a moment was I lonely, and in all honesty I felt better around other alcoholics than I would've been with my own family. This year is no different, and I'm really excited about the next two upcoming weekends.

You will find your place and friends in sobriety. Try different meetings if one doesn't work for you. I tried a few others, and eventually came right back to the meeting I started at. It's been my home ever since then.

Hi, km7. Remember the world looks different through the bottom of a glass. Seems like everyone drinks when what you've been doing is hanging around everyone who drinks. I found out there were really a lot more people in the world whose major form of entertainment wasn't getting plastered.

If you're in Brooklyn, there's about every kind of meeting you can imagine going on, and a lot you wouldn't imagine. You are going to have so much company, you won't believe it.

Trust God, OK? He's going to take better care of you than you took of yourself. I am personally willing to promise you that!

Well, I semi-lurk, but I guess I'll say hello. I'm pretty much in the same boat- been pounding my head against the same rock with 9 years of beer drinking, almost to the day.

I think this weekend might be the time to hit some meetings. I don't necessarily agree with AA, and I've read most of the Big Book, but man I just need the experience of being around some sober people for once! It's just getting too crazy. Best of luck in your endeavours.

Newguy

Try to remember that when you do go to a meeting, most of the people there do agree with AA and the Big Book. That's why they're there.

There's something at meetings that I've heard called "The music of AA". It's the sound of people talking, laughing, crying, and sharing their lives with each other. I'm proud to be an alcoholic in recovery, and I know I'm not alone in wanting everyone to have the life that I have.

Hi KM, you are the lucky one to realize a problem with alcohol at an early age. You say all your friends are heavy drinkers but not alcoholics. Chances are that some of them are, they just have not realized it yet. It took me until about age 35 to admit to myself I was a problem drinker....and took another 18 years after that to finally quit once and for all. I'm 53 now and 5 months without a drop.
Consider yourself blessed to realize at an early age and consider yourself more blessed if you give it up at an early age.

Good luck.........

yeah im in chicago and we young peoples meetings all the time. one of them has 100+ people regularly. nyc no doubt has them too. i wish got sober when i was 23. i ended up getting sober at 25 but those last 2 years were horrific.

12-Step Visit From St. Nicholas
T'was the night before Christmas When I went on a bender,
Not a creature was stirring, not even a bartender.
The empties were stacked by the chimney just fine,
In hopes that St. Nick would fill them with wine.
With Mama in her kerchief and I with my booze,
We'd just settled down for a long winter's snooze.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I put down my drink to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I crawled and then stumbled
To open the shutters where I stood and just mumbled.
Then what to my bloodshot eyes should there appear
But a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer.

I thought it was DT's and needed help quick!
I didn't know it was only St. Nick.
I poured myself another as the reindeer came
While he shouted and called them by name:

"Now Barfly! Now Wino! Now Boozer and Rummy!
On Drunkard! On Alky! On Dipso and Dummy!"
So up to the housetop St. Nicholas flew
While I pulled the pop-top on another brew.

I trembled with fear when I heard a new sound--
Down the chimney came St. Nick with a bound.
His cheeks were like roses, he grinned like a possum,
His eyes, how they twinkled, his nose had rum-blossoms!



I offered him a drink, step up to the bar,
"Not today," he said, "I am now so-ber."
He had a clear face and a little beer belly,
That shook when he laughed like a bowl
full of jelly.

This was too much, it increased my thirst.
"Hold it!" said St. Nick, "First things first.
You don't have to drink, easy does it,
Now that wasn't too hard, was it?"

He reached in his sack and with a great fuss
He gave me the book "Alcoholics Anonymous."
"Read this 'Big Book' for a life sublime,
Follow the principles one day at a time.

"This is the best present I can give,
Twelve steps -- a new way to live.
The AA program keeps me sober, it's true."
Then giving a nod, up the chimney he flew.

Then I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight,
"You now have a choice, starting tonight.
So Merry Christmas to all and to all Season's Greetings,
Don't pick up that first drink, and go to AA meetings!"





Click Santa's Sleigh and Go To A Meeting!













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