this time its for me ! i never want the relapse depression again !!!!
Im not crazy and neither am I
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: My place in (M)Assachusetts
Posts: 2,088
this time its for me ! i never want the relapse depression again !!!!
I want to get sober so I dont have to deal with all the garbage of my disease - especially the depression after relapse!!!!!
My health both mental and physical have been impacted by years of abuse. They will be impacted for the rest of my life but I cant dwell on that - gotta keep my thick skull thinking just for today or minute to minute if thats what it takes.
One of the things I want back for myself is self respect, trusting and liking myself. I dont think my family would have anything to do with me if I am not sober for a good few weeks anyway. I havent told them I slipped a few times. Some how I want to do this for me to be accepted as a positive, healthy and clean member of society and member of my family. Although I may never get these things because they are beyond my control it would be great. I just want to feel good again !!!! I know its going to be alot of work but with all the support of this forum, people at meetings, my sponsor, my therapist and sober family and friends I hope to god that I can do it !!!
JUST FOR ME !!!!!!
- positive emotion and that and I cant deal with as I havent felt good about myself for years due to my abuse of substances, my upbringing and family traditions
My health both mental and physical have been impacted by years of abuse. They will be impacted for the rest of my life but I cant dwell on that - gotta keep my thick skull thinking just for today or minute to minute if thats what it takes.
One of the things I want back for myself is self respect, trusting and liking myself. I dont think my family would have anything to do with me if I am not sober for a good few weeks anyway. I havent told them I slipped a few times. Some how I want to do this for me to be accepted as a positive, healthy and clean member of society and member of my family. Although I may never get these things because they are beyond my control it would be great. I just want to feel good again !!!! I know its going to be alot of work but with all the support of this forum, people at meetings, my sponsor, my therapist and sober family and friends I hope to god that I can do it !!!
JUST FOR ME !!!!!!
- positive emotion and that and I cant deal with as I havent felt good about myself for years due to my abuse of substances, my upbringing and family traditions
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,510
I had a hard time dealing with 'feeling good' too. In fact, I would sabotage myself again and again after I had been sober for a few weeks. I was more comfortable dealing with failing, than dealing with succeeding.
Take a step out of the cycle of relapse and move forward. You can do this. And, none of us have any control about what happens tomorrow, but we can choose to do the right thing and feel good about it today.
Take a step out of the cycle of relapse and move forward. You can do this. And, none of us have any control about what happens tomorrow, but we can choose to do the right thing and feel good about it today.
Im not crazy and neither am I
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: My place in (M)Assachusetts
Posts: 2,088
Thanks anna and hope3 I defietly need the encouragement right now.
Im going on 48 hours wo a drink and Im starting to worry I cant do it and will go back out.
I think I will leave my cards at home and carry no cash when I head to a meeting at 7 ish....
Thank god its almost time to leave - I need the saftey and support of my meeting and support group !
Im going on 48 hours wo a drink and Im starting to worry I cant do it and will go back out.
I think I will leave my cards at home and carry no cash when I head to a meeting at 7 ish....
Thank god its almost time to leave - I need the saftey and support of my meeting and support group !
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