Dry Drunk
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: DC
Posts: 3
Dry Drunk
Hello everyone ... I am new to this on-line forum.
I had my last drink in Jan 1996 and attended AA for a while, but got so busy with life, moved, changed jobs, etc. that I stopped going. It has been about 5 years since i attended a meeting. Lately I have felt awful. Even though there are successes in my life I cannot seem to be happy. I think i am a "dry drunk."
I have been in numerous relationships where I cannot communicate my feelings, and they always end rather sadly, badly. It has led to a life of isolation and I am very very lonely. All of my friends are far away, though we communicate via phone, email. But I need some real fellowship. There is a lot I see myself doing, but only after the fact, esp the whole "know-it-all" trip as I have relied more on intellect and not my emotions to get me through life. It all feels one sided and at this point, I am about to give up. I see a therapist, but that is not enough. I need to get to meetings. I am sick today, so my world has come to a screeching halt. So I am having too much time to dwell on my problems. I need a sponsor, i think, any suggestions to get me going back to AA?
I had my last drink in Jan 1996 and attended AA for a while, but got so busy with life, moved, changed jobs, etc. that I stopped going. It has been about 5 years since i attended a meeting. Lately I have felt awful. Even though there are successes in my life I cannot seem to be happy. I think i am a "dry drunk."
I have been in numerous relationships where I cannot communicate my feelings, and they always end rather sadly, badly. It has led to a life of isolation and I am very very lonely. All of my friends are far away, though we communicate via phone, email. But I need some real fellowship. There is a lot I see myself doing, but only after the fact, esp the whole "know-it-all" trip as I have relied more on intellect and not my emotions to get me through life. It all feels one sided and at this point, I am about to give up. I see a therapist, but that is not enough. I need to get to meetings. I am sick today, so my world has come to a screeching halt. So I am having too much time to dwell on my problems. I need a sponsor, i think, any suggestions to get me going back to AA?
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,056
Get to a meeting, and tell others exactly how you're feeling. Chances are pretty good that someone will have had the same experiences and will be happy to share them with you. And by all means get a sponsor. It's an honor to sponsor someone, not a burden. Many would be happy to help you along.
Glad you're here, please keep posting.
Glad you're here, please keep posting.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Lake Tahoe CA
Posts: 1,098
Hi big-kitty,
Welcome. I'll be glad to share a little bit of what happened for me. I had twelve years of sobriety when I stopped going to meetings.
For a few years everything was fine. Then I began experiencing some of the things you describe. Was doing well, but felt isolated and depressed. The more that I felt that way, the more I pushed the friends that I had away from me. I managed to hang on and turn things around this last year. With changing lifestyle, losing weight, beginning to have new friends...
BUT...this is the biggy for me...eventually I did relapse. Not at my emotional bottom...but on my way back up. Go figure? I guess that I thought I could change my life myself, I could drink..so I did..for 5 days. Thankfully, I stopped and my son immediately took me to an AA meeting. I was shaking and the alcohol was still not out of my system. For me I saw that was what I needed. People just like me. In the changes I had made, everything was on the surface. When I go to AA besides helping me stay sober, it keeps me in reality.
Today I have one week of sobriety. The meetings I am attending and this board that I stumbled on while detoxing at home have been so valuable to me. I feel like I have been handed my life to redo, and renew again all over.
Welcome. I'll be glad to share a little bit of what happened for me. I had twelve years of sobriety when I stopped going to meetings.
For a few years everything was fine. Then I began experiencing some of the things you describe. Was doing well, but felt isolated and depressed. The more that I felt that way, the more I pushed the friends that I had away from me. I managed to hang on and turn things around this last year. With changing lifestyle, losing weight, beginning to have new friends...
BUT...this is the biggy for me...eventually I did relapse. Not at my emotional bottom...but on my way back up. Go figure? I guess that I thought I could change my life myself, I could drink..so I did..for 5 days. Thankfully, I stopped and my son immediately took me to an AA meeting. I was shaking and the alcohol was still not out of my system. For me I saw that was what I needed. People just like me. In the changes I had made, everything was on the surface. When I go to AA besides helping me stay sober, it keeps me in reality.
Today I have one week of sobriety. The meetings I am attending and this board that I stumbled on while detoxing at home have been so valuable to me. I feel like I have been handed my life to redo, and renew again all over.
Think Happy Thoughts
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: cHiCaGo iL
Posts: 245
You obviously KNOW what you need to know or you wouldnt be posting this. You feel the difference in your life and you are yearning for more. So whats keeping you? Get up and go get it.
There is no point to sitting at home wandering whether or not you should go to a meeting. Your life is on the right track. I was always told, there is only ONE STEP that you need to work to stay clean, and that is the first step. " We admit that we are powerless for addiction and that our lives have become unmanageable" The other steps are there to make your life a little better. You have done the first step, you addmited powerlessness. Now if you want a life changing experience then get to a meeting, get a sponsor, and start living the prgram.
There is no point to sitting at home wandering whether or not you should go to a meeting. Your life is on the right track. I was always told, there is only ONE STEP that you need to work to stay clean, and that is the first step. " We admit that we are powerless for addiction and that our lives have become unmanageable" The other steps are there to make your life a little better. You have done the first step, you addmited powerlessness. Now if you want a life changing experience then get to a meeting, get a sponsor, and start living the prgram.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: DC
Posts: 3
Thank you both for your responses. I have such a tough time saying what is in my heart out loud. I cannot speak it. It truly isolated me for a long time. I hope that going to meetings & finding a sponsor will loosen me up and allow me to be more human. Drinking did that for so long and when I quit drinking I thought life would be OK if I didn't drink anymore. Boy was I fooled!
Old & Sober Member of AA
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Nursing Home in Brick, New Jersey
Posts: 5,174
When I go to AA besides helping me stay sober, it keeps me in reality.
...when I quit drinking I thought life would be OK if I didn't drink anymore. Boy was I fooled!
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