karrotop

hi all....it's been awhile.......only because i feel i have nothing to offer at the moment......i have been,"in a bad way" for weeks now......this depression has gotten a hold on me......and won't let go.....it's been over a month now....and i have been easing my,"discomfort" with alcohol....again.....keep saying that once the holiday is over,maybe i will feel better.....i am feeling low and swing from being overwhelmed with life,to feeling underwhelmed with it all.....and during all this,there are gifts to buy,and family pressures on top of it....just too much......
i am tired of being miserable,but it seems it's all i know......it's all too familiar...i am so lonely......and I still continue to push people away.....don't let anyone get too close......
sorry I'm such a downer today......i don't like inflicting my misery on others,but i just wanted to check in....i still read all the posts here every morning....it's one way I can feel."connected" to someone....god bless all of us who are struggling today......

Emily2002

PLEASE hang in there. I've been struggling, too, lately with the alcohol. The depression's taken a hiatus due to meds and a wonderful therapist, thank GOD. Have you spoken to anyone about what you're feeling? It took me forever to finally do that. Don't get me wrong -- I definitely have my bad days, but I feel a lot better than before. IMO, admitting I couldn't fix myself by myself was diffictult. It's been over two years since my first visit and the only downside I've experienced is weight gain from the antidepressant. PLEASE keep in touch.

Emily2002

Sorry! Just read some of your other posts. You're doing the therapy route, so just ignore those parts of my post, above. Remember that you're not alone. I'm so glad you're checking in. Obviously, everyone here understands. This is why I keep coming back. The pressure this time of year is overwhelming... I had to start all over again Monday. The furthest I got with sobriety was 14 days. I'm routing for you!!!!!

wingsfree

Hi Karro, a very warm welcome to SoberRecovery.

Ah depression is a buggar for a lot of us, I've struggled with it for years, it was just one more thing I went into denial about, well not today, a good friend of mine Anna give me a little nudge the last time I drank here, which is almost 6 months ago. She could see what was going on where I couldn't, I certainly understand the crazy ups and downs, and that's exactly how it felt on a dailey basis for way to long. I took her advice, seen my Dr explained everything to him, and I mean everything, I had gotten to the point, I didn't want to live anymore, I honestly thought there was no hope for me, I kept falling repeatedly. Well not today, I started anti-depressants almost 6 months ago, and the relief with them, there are no words to explain, the craziness has stopped, I do have to say I was scared half to death about taking any kind of meds, funny thing is meanwhile it's ok to slowly kill ourselves with rotten booze, go figure.

Anyway today I don't struggle any more, oh yes I have bad days, but that is life, it keeps us balanced I figure.

Please hang in there.....don't ever give up with this, be patient and keep trying everything, one day you'll get what works for you, that's a promise.

Take care of yourself, and yes you're never ALONE, that's something to really think about too, none of US are ever alone.

hope3

Hi karrotop, I'm so sorry you are going through such a
hard time. The holidays are a litlle over whelming to me as
well. Sending all my positive thoughts your way.
Hang in there karrotop! Oh and thanks for sharing with
how you are feeling, sometimes it helps.

Emily2002

Agreed! Seeing my therapist wasn't enough. I needed the meds, too. Your words above, wingsfree, could be my own.

Hope to see an update, soon, Carol. I'll be thinking of you and sending you good vibes all day, today.

Liz

scootinbabe

sending hugs your way karrot! keep coming back.

leviathon

Hey KT, don't beat yourself up. YOu are not a downer, you are struggling. We have either all been there, or we are all there. Just do anything you can to ease the depression. I find staying busy, keeping physically active and doing relaxing things all help. So does getting a solid night sleep, eating well and talking.

If the depression is bad, go to your doctor and get an anti depressant. They really really do help.

Peace, Levi

boommer

The blues get hold of me sometimes to.I always had time to think and that was a bad thing.But since I found this sight if I don't have to work I will be on here all the time

BSPGirl

I hope you feel better soon, depression is hard to deal with.

Marte