So Depressed that I dont want to relapse again
Im not crazy and neither am I
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: My place in (M)Assachusetts
Posts: 2,088
So Depressed that I dont want to relapse again
I havent posted anything on myself in a little while. I have not felt worthy of posting or speaking much at meetings.
I am so depressed at relapse and the severity of it the next day after I relapse. I think that if I had a plan when I was discharged it would of been of great help - but thats in the past and I need to learn to focus on the moment. I dont know how some people do it. I cant eat, sleep, focus/concentrate or deal with life's ups and downs and my emotions sober.
Maybe this time I can make it and do this w therapy, meetings, taking better care of myself both physically and mentally.
I hope that today can be a sober day. I HAVE to be sober for Christmas or I will lose the last of the remaining support from my family. It has worn dangerously thin as a result of my drinking if not completely through.
HP give me strenght and courage please !!!!
Support and feedback are welcome.
Thanks - feel better just getting that out of me !
I have alot of work to be done NOW.....
I am so depressed at relapse and the severity of it the next day after I relapse. I think that if I had a plan when I was discharged it would of been of great help - but thats in the past and I need to learn to focus on the moment. I dont know how some people do it. I cant eat, sleep, focus/concentrate or deal with life's ups and downs and my emotions sober.
Maybe this time I can make it and do this w therapy, meetings, taking better care of myself both physically and mentally.
I hope that today can be a sober day. I HAVE to be sober for Christmas or I will lose the last of the remaining support from my family. It has worn dangerously thin as a result of my drinking if not completely through.
HP give me strenght and courage please !!!!
Support and feedback are welcome.
Thanks - feel better just getting that out of me !
I have alot of work to be done NOW.....
Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: road to recovery
Posts: 1,689
thanks for coming here. try to make a meeting if you can.
you can do this. you are worth it. you need to reach out and allow others to pull you up. you are not alone.
keep coming back and get out there! this season is too good to waste!
you can do this. you are worth it. you need to reach out and allow others to pull you up. you are not alone.
keep coming back and get out there! this season is too good to waste!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
Over time you will be able to handle your emotions more easily. It takes patience and time to learn the skills you need to know to get through every day life.
If your depression is a result of drinking, it should lift as you remain sober.
If you were drinking as a result of depression (as I was) you may need to talk to your dr about medication.
If your depression is a result of drinking, it should lift as you remain sober.
If you were drinking as a result of depression (as I was) you may need to talk to your dr about medication.
Im not crazy and neither am I
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: My place in (M)Assachusetts
Posts: 2,088
keeping busy and trying to focus on the minute not beat myself up
Thanks Anna
Im working on the Dr thing and as usual one cannot get an appointment when they need one and my health insurance albeit not very good I am looking at having it taken away
look its closer to a meeting already....
Im working on the Dr thing and as usual one cannot get an appointment when they need one and my health insurance albeit not very good I am looking at having it taken away
look its closer to a meeting already....
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Murrieta, Ca
Posts: 2,683
Like Anna said, just keep going to meetings. I'm only 49 days in and already the depression and anxiety haver reduced significantly. I actually have days where there is none (Imagine that ! 
)
Yeah, it takes time. We alcoholics want everythiong to get better NOW.
)Yeah, it takes time. We alcoholics want everythiong to get better NOW.
Im not crazy and neither am I
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: My place in (M)Assachusetts
Posts: 2,088
didnt drink still woke up in panic
I feel less depressed but still very anxious and paniced as soon as I wake up. I know patience is a virtue but it sure isnt one of mine. I didnt drink yesterday and have a fairly structured day today.
I know its supposed to go away. what they have prescribed me has addictive attributes to it and I am worried that it will become a habbit if it isnt already. I seem to have a tolerance for these meds and find myself wanting to take them early if I get into a situation that makes me stress or anxious. Ive been taking them as prescribed anyway.
I know alot of people white knuckle it and make it but I just dont feel strong enough to kick the drink myself or wo chemical assistance.
Im sure that many would concider this dangerous. But I 'll take the support or feedback anyway.
I know its supposed to go away. what they have prescribed me has addictive attributes to it and I am worried that it will become a habbit if it isnt already. I seem to have a tolerance for these meds and find myself wanting to take them early if I get into a situation that makes me stress or anxious. Ive been taking them as prescribed anyway.
I know alot of people white knuckle it and make it but I just dont feel strong enough to kick the drink myself or wo chemical assistance.
Im sure that many would concider this dangerous. But I 'll take the support or feedback anyway.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: road to recovery
Posts: 1,689
can't help ya with the meds. i cold turkeyed but my situation was mine--you should probably talk with your doctor.
but hey, YOU MADE IT! i know what you said in your first post about doing it for your family....but you need to do it for you. even if you have nothing left, you have you. keep coming back!
but hey, YOU MADE IT! i know what you said in your first post about doing it for your family....but you need to do it for you. even if you have nothing left, you have you. keep coming back!
Im not crazy and neither am I
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: My place in (M)Assachusetts
Posts: 2,088
this time its for me
I want to get sober so I dont have to deal with all the garbage of my disease. My health both mental and physical have been impacted by years of abuse. They will be impacted for the rest of my life but I cant dwell on that - gotta keep my thick skull thinking just for today or minute to minute if thats what it takes.
One of the things I want back for myself is self respect, trusting and liking myself. I dont think my family would have anything to do with me if I am not sober for a good few weeks anyway. I havent told them I slipped a few times. Some how I want to do this for me to be accepted as a positive, healthy and clean member of society and member of my family. Although I may never get these things because they are beyond my control it would be great. I just want to feel good again !!!!
- another emotion that I cant deal with as I havent felt good about myself for years due to my abuse of substances, my upbringing and family traditions.
One of the things I want back for myself is self respect, trusting and liking myself. I dont think my family would have anything to do with me if I am not sober for a good few weeks anyway. I havent told them I slipped a few times. Some how I want to do this for me to be accepted as a positive, healthy and clean member of society and member of my family. Although I may never get these things because they are beyond my control it would be great. I just want to feel good again !!!!
- another emotion that I cant deal with as I havent felt good about myself for years due to my abuse of substances, my upbringing and family traditions.
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