frstnm

Well as many know I relapsed pretty hard this week and I just got out of detox last saturday which quite honestly S*cked. I wanted to stay. I am grateful for this forum it has kept me busy when I couldnt get to a meeting.

I am now on day2. I now live the next town over from where I was born. I went to meeting in that town. I got to speak and let people know a little of the things that are going on in my life. As hard as it was to get myself there and ask for help I DID IT !! I mentioned that I needed help/support and possibly some rides. Someone came up to me gave me an AA book and when I opened the book after the meeting there was $20 in it !! This made me break down in front of all these people but they were supportive and kind. One thing I have trouble with is dealing with people (anyone) giving me support and helping me and positive/happy emotions. Ive always had to look out for myself and it is so hard to ask for help and actually get it !! I cant even remember the person's name or what he looked like. I will have to go back next sunday and thank whoever it was.

Ran into one of the managers of my local/favorite package store IN the meeting. I told him he should never sell me alcohol again. I asked him how in hell can he work where he does and stay sober....
Hopefully I will never be in his store again.

I cant even count how many people came up to me and gave me numbers and encouragement. I could not control my emotions so EVERYONE knows how much I am hurting for all of the things that are happening in my life right now.

I am so surprised how my family has come through for me but they have been really surprising me !!!

I mentioned that I had started mt substance abuse right behind the location of the hall and also about a mile or so up thestreet. I think I have finally come full circle!!!

Maybe my HP is seeing how hard this is and is watching over me and is giving me the strength and courage to do what I need to do for ME !!!!!!!!

Feedback is welcomed !

Midas

Welcome back, frstnm! Good to have you back.

brians

One heck of a good start. Welcome to the wondrfel world of emotions.
Don't drink or drug and go to meetings. Everyone here and there are pulling for you, We have all been there.

hope3

Way to go frstnm, you can do it, you can, you can, you can!

gypsytears

Keep going to those meetings frstnm. It sounds like you have found a good group. And your family... so nice to know they're behind you isn't it? You will do it. Just don't give up.

CarolD

Keep in focus and move ahead!

Blessings

ndgrace

don't ever give up, and keep going to meetings! It took me a while for things to start to make sense. Some people get and stay sober faster than others.

c'est la vie

glad to hear the good news. keep on moving forward.

Anna

I'm glad you're back!

Joe Today

I have less than 24 hours sober from a very bad relapse. Talked my way out of suicide today, alone and miserable. God help you and I.You have my support and understanding

frstnm

I too have had thoughts in my pst where I thought there was no way out. I am trying to learn how to focus on the positive side of things rather than the negatives. Depression it me hard when I relapsed several times. For me relapsing with a depressant (alcohol) is crushing. Ive had several but Im still trying and have gotten myself a sponsor to call through the meetings I go to.
Im not perfect but the less I use the better I feel.
I wish you the best and if there is anything around you that you could hurt yourself with GET RID OF IT !!!!!!
One second at a time if that's what it takes. It does for me some days. Ive got more than I can handle on my plate right now so I have reached out and asked for help at meetings and w my doctors. This part is not easy for me.