aasharon90

Hi im Sharon and im an alcoholic.

By the Grace of my HP and People
like you here in SR I havent had
a drink of alcohol since 8-11-90.
For that im truely grateful.


"When I did my personal inventory
I found that I had unhealthy relation-
ships with most people in my life
– my friends and family, for example.
I always felt isolated and lonely. I
drank to dull emotional pain.

"It was through staying sober, having
a good sponsor and working the Twelve
Steps that I was able to build up my
low self-esteem. First the Twelve Steps
taught me to become my own best
friend, and then, when I was able to
love myself, I could reach out and love
others."


Im still a work in progress as i let the
layers of my damaged life slowly peel
away. Hoping to love myself more and
allow others to get closer to me without
pushing them away as i often due to
trust issues.


Friendships in recovery are important
as we depend on each other for guidance
and support us as we each take a step
closer to being happier, jopyous and free.

Thanks for letting me share.

Astro

Awesome topic, Sharon. Thank you so much for sharing.

I don't know why, but lately when I'm at meetings I glance around the room and smile knowing that I've got so many friends in recovery, and they've been there for me every step of the way. I truly am happy, joyous, and free, and being able to share and give that to others has made my life richer than I could've imagined.

SeekSobriety

Thanks so much for sharing! Congratulations on your 16 years of sobriety, that is truly an amazing achievement!(I only have 15 years and 360 more days to go till I achieve my 16th bday!) It does give me something to look forward to though!
Thanks again!

aasharon90

Each of us is on our own personal journey
in recovery. You, Me and the many here
in SR and those in ur meetings. And
for whatever reason brought you thru
those doors of AA or NA or any other
recovery program, whether on ur own,
or the courts, or family....

The biggest reason of all to be
here is for YOURSELF. No one else.

This is a personal achievement that
can only be done by u.

However the support and care and
guidance for others in recovery is and
the friendships we aquire make our
stay here the more worth while.

So I plan on staying for a good long
time till death do i part from these
rooms. : )

Im glad to be amongst all of u guys.

Thanks for ur shares....they mean alot.

Kellye C

Hi Sharon,

I had no idea when I walked into my home group on July 6, 2004 that I would end up with a second family and a large one at that! I was there because I could no longer drink. Period. I was there because my life was miserable and I was quickly killing myself with the bottle and could not stop.

What I ended up with is so much more. I was freed from the obsession of the drink. My sobriety date is August 8, 2004. I was given a new design for living that allows me to face life rather than seek to escape from it. Family relationships were repaired. I got a new job in 04 that I could have never held while drinking. I have my health back with no apparent lasting damage.

And then the people. My home group is full of many characters, most of whom I love but some who I tolerate. Like any family it takes all types. It is like my own live soap opera. I go in wanting to catch up on everyone's lives and let them in on mine. When I have to miss for more than a day or two I really miss these people. We go out and socialize outside the rooms. We phone each other. We check up on each other. We support each other when need be and we say the hard things that need to be said when need be. I had no idea the support system I was tapping into by going into AA. Now not only do I have friends in the rooms but I also have a fiance and a future mother and father in law in there too! The engagement will be "official" with the engagement ring and all sometime in the next couple of weeks. Meanwhile we are busting a gut trying not to let on but that's the other part of being in a group where everyone knows you. I doubt anyone will be shocked when we make the announcement and we've already been predicted to be the next marriage in our group (we've had several!).

As far as self-love I am still learning about that. I credit my HP and AA for teaching me how to love me and how to love others.

Thanks Sharon for this topic and allowing me to share. You always come up with cool, thought-provoking topics.

Hugs,
Kellye

aasharon90

Where's my THANK YOU BUTTON so I can
put it at the bottom of ur post...lol

ITS NOT THERE....! lol

Congrats on ur engagement....What
a joyful time in ur life and this time
of the year. HOW AWESOME..!

In a few weeks ..WOW..... it will
be official....how cool it that... : )

Im soooo happy for you Kelley..

We go thru soooo much and to finally
see an experience joy in recovery some-
times leaves us speechless.

We get all kinds of gifts in recovery
and this is one big one for you.

That is why i love sobriety, because
when we turn our will and life over to
the care of HIM ...HE takes care of us.

God Bless you and ur new engagement
here in Recovery.

Love and care from ur AA friend here in
Houston.... : )

Kellye C

Thank you Sharon. I passed you wishes along to my other half and made his day as well!

The gifts of recovery are many. I am thankful for each and every one of them and try to keep my gratitude list ever close to mind.

Hugs,
Kellye

NascarNut29

I'm new here as of today. This seems a place I need to be. I have what I believe to binge alcoholism, though I am not certain.
I look forward to getting to know you all here as I start this journey today.

aasharon90

Hi Nascar...Welcome to SR. First of all I like
ur name u have chosen here. Nascar racing
is one of my favorite sports i like to watch
from time to time along with golf.

As you get to know people in here or at
ur face to face meetings....this is a good
topic amongst sober members to chat about.

Hopefully u will meet new recovery friends
with the sports u also like.

I didnt know i was an alcoholic till
things began to happen to me....
like staying out till the clubs closed
down when i should be at home
with me family. Just not wanting
the excitement to end.

Then a horrble accident in Feb.90
that landed me in the hospital
for 10 days with them removing
my punctured spleen are i would
have bled to death.

Then to recover very nicely
vowing not to drink again....to
only pick up where i left off and
try to end my life in Aug.90.

It still amazes me today at how
rapid the progression of my
disease of alcoholism was at
that time.

My family stepped in doing what
I couldnt do for myself....They
did an intervention on me
having the police come to take me
away in the back of the car like
a criminal. Thru a court order
I was taken in to rehab where
i spent the next 28 days recieving
the tools and knowledge of how
to stay sober one day at a time.

My family did for me what i
could do for myself at that
time.

For that im truely grateful
for that today.

Feel free to share a little of
ur experiences, strengths and
hopes with us...what it was like
while drinking, during ur drinking
and where u r now. That way we
can better get to know u and
hopefully u can inspire someone
new like u who is going thru
the same thing to reach out
for help and guidance.

Thanks for being here. We need you.

NascarNut29

Thank you for your response. I apologize for not replying sooner.

My addiction has had me since shortly after high school, best I can recall.

Used to drink every night after work. Got older, got a real job & saved the drinking for weekends & 'special' occasions.

Eventually started drinking when I was depressed. The more I drank the more depressed I became & so the harder I would drink.

I started to see that as a problem. I was blacking out, doing stupid things.
God watched over me but I wasn't ready to turn to Him. I cut back.

I quit for a few weeks. Repeat. I quit for a month. Repeat. Quit for a few months... I had the time without alcohol now where I thought I had it under my control. I could go 6 or more months.

I didn't have control at all. Now I drank alone, at home, where I could hide it & call in sick while I self medicated & 'dealt' with whatever issue had triggered my addiction.

This very real & very frightening to me now. I said things to hurt the person I love most in this world. I can't ever do that again. I can never touch another drop. This is hard to do. I am so glad I found this place. There are some wonderful people here.

I hope you all had a wonderful weekend. I am starting day 6 as I type this...

God bless.
NN29

aasharon90

Thanks NN29 for sharing ur story
with me and others.

It's a start in the right direction
as you acknowledge
your problem with alcohol.

As i read ur story i was shaking
my head back and forth in agreement
as i understood everything
u wrote because its similar to
my own story .

Similiar to many stories.

6 days is another good start.

I would start and stop so many
times and fail and get so tired just
not knowing what to do or whom
to call. Well at least uve found
the answer. AA. All the help u
need is right here and at ur
meetings near to ur home.

That's the best place to be
right now in early recovery
as ur life depends on it.

Do u know where an AA meeting
is near to ur home?

As a suggestion....GO. I know ur here in
SR but sitting in a face to face meeting
makes a world of difference. You can
verbally hear the words u and i so
desperately need to hear.

If u havent picked up a DESIRE or 24 hr. CHIP
and u have that burning desire to
stop drinking, pick u up one. Hold onto it
as often as u need it....to remind u of
ur desire to be be sober.

In early recovery, i started out in rehab
first for 28 days, but after that i was
on my own....i spent many many
hours in those AA meetings. Mostly
listening and obsorbing everything
i needed to hear to stay sober.

I also took the suggestions they
freely offered to heart as my life
depended on it.

Every meeting has a little to alot
of something u can take with u
each day to help u stay sober.

Find u someone u can easily connect
with so when ur alone u can call
upon that person when u have that
urge to drink.

And for me while i was in rehab, my spouse
removed every ounce of alcohol in our
home so when i did return home that would
not be a temptation for me esp if i get upset
about something or was just in a good mood.

I had to remove anything and
everything and every person
in my life that reminded me
of drinking or alcohol.

As i read ur story, u mentioned u
have stayed sober for about 6 months
before. So u have the willingness
to stay sober....its just a matter
of staying stopped....right?

AA meetings is where i began
and its where u can too.

They and we here can help u
in stay on track.

Ur HP was with you drinking
just like He was with me all
those yrs and now that u
are days sober and me yrs..
I continue to seek out His Will
for me each day thru prayer.

Thanks for letting me share here
and dont stop sharing ur own
ESH with me and others.