Craving!!
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Recovery
Posts: 3,229
Craving!!
I'm craving cocaine so bad right now. I have used all my tools and the thought is still there. The worst thing is that I'm so moody with people and I can recognize that as trying to find a reason to justify using. However, now that I noticed that pattern, I can work to fix it.
I guess I just wanted to reach out in hopes that someone will remind me that it isn't worth it. I'm blinded by the addict voice right now. Please someone help pull me back.
I need to be held accountable.
I'm sitting here eating marshmallows like crazy and I've practically ate the whole bag. I'm going to go get a cup of hot cocoa.
I guess I just wanted to reach out in hopes that someone will remind me that it isn't worth it. I'm blinded by the addict voice right now. Please someone help pull me back.
I need to be held accountable.
I'm sitting here eating marshmallows like crazy and I've practically ate the whole bag. I'm going to go get a cup of hot cocoa.
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Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 3,812
Here Hope.... Take my hand cuz it REALLY is NOT worth it.
You are better then that drug, People that love you today do not want to see you die to a drug hon.... They need you to live.
Tell you what, instead of focusing on the drug lets work to focus on something else... do you have a puzzle near, treadmill, anything that will distract your mind for a moment and make you focus on something else???
You are better then that drug, People that love you today do not want to see you die to a drug hon.... They need you to live.
Tell you what, instead of focusing on the drug lets work to focus on something else... do you have a puzzle near, treadmill, anything that will distract your mind for a moment and make you focus on something else???
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Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 3,812
Remember this ALWAYS: You want better in this life then slavery
"A life of reaction is a life of slavery, intellectually and spiritually. One must fight for a life of action, not reaction."
– Rita Mae Brown
"A life of reaction is a life of slavery, intellectually and spiritually. One must fight for a life of action, not reaction."
– Rita Mae Brown
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Recovery
Posts: 3,229
I just fixed a huge cup of cocoa topped with tons of marshmallows and I also fixed a giant cup of coffee. LOL, I don't know why I feel I need all this.
I just got a new book. Maybe that will distract my mind for a while.
I just got a new book. Maybe that will distract my mind for a while.
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Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 3,812
That is what works best for me is to distract myself. Have a jizzsaw puzzle started, a crossword/seekaword near, needle work maybe......
Just get your mind busy and out of your head.... Your head is not a safe place to be right now.
Just get your mind busy and out of your head.... Your head is not a safe place to be right now.
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Join Date: Feb 2006
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Posts: 3,229
On the way to the meeting, I fought the thought of stopping by the liquor store but continued to the meeting.
I went to 3 meetings and spent a lot of time with others in recovery and by the time I was on the way home, I was too tired to make a stop off at the bar or by the dealers house. That thought was gone.
Cynay and TamTam, thank you for being here for me earlier. Your posts are actually what encouraged me to get out of my head and get on to that meeting. That was just the nudge that I needed to move in the right direction. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
I went to 3 meetings and spent a lot of time with others in recovery and by the time I was on the way home, I was too tired to make a stop off at the bar or by the dealers house. That thought was gone.
Cynay and TamTam, thank you for being here for me earlier. Your posts are actually what encouraged me to get out of my head and get on to that meeting. That was just the nudge that I needed to move in the right direction. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Recovery
Posts: 3,229
I am truly grateful for all of the support that I've received tonight! It has been such a blessing for me.
Today was the most difficult day craving wise that I've had in a long time. I was so scared that I was going to give in. But, instead of having that fear grow inside of me, I used it towards something good. I turned it into a healthy fear in the terms of doing something that I didn't feel like doing in order to stay sober.
I had every excuse in the book for not going to that meeting. I thought of millions of justifications on the way there. I kept driving on. I wanted to stay sober more than I wanted to get drunk. However, I was craving so bad that I was shaking. By the time I got to the meeting, someone almost had to help me with my cup of coffee......... I was really shaking..... I just really, really wanted to drink and use.
I am so grateful that I am clean and sober tonight. The cravings are gone and I will be able to go to bed and wake up tomorrow without the guilt and shame of a wasted night/day.
Today was the most difficult day craving wise that I've had in a long time. I was so scared that I was going to give in. But, instead of having that fear grow inside of me, I used it towards something good. I turned it into a healthy fear in the terms of doing something that I didn't feel like doing in order to stay sober.
I had every excuse in the book for not going to that meeting. I thought of millions of justifications on the way there. I kept driving on. I wanted to stay sober more than I wanted to get drunk. However, I was craving so bad that I was shaking. By the time I got to the meeting, someone almost had to help me with my cup of coffee......... I was really shaking..... I just really, really wanted to drink and use.
I am so grateful that I am clean and sober tonight. The cravings are gone and I will be able to go to bed and wake up tomorrow without the guilt and shame of a wasted night/day.
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Join Date: Feb 2006
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One more good thing about tonight: I had so much more fun with those people in recovery than I would have by making a fool of myself in a bar or locked up by myself in a room getting completely wasted.
I was laughing, talking, and having a great time sober!
I will not have any guilt, shame, or remorse tomorrow.
I was laughing, talking, and having a great time sober!
I will not have any guilt, shame, or remorse tomorrow.
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: road to recovery
Posts: 1,689
i'm tearing up reading this...i am so proud of you! what a gift you gave yourself--another sober day down! you are such an inspiration!!!!!!!!
you recognized it, you did all the right things, and you acknowledged it to yourself--way to go!!!
hugs, hugs, hugs
you recognized it, you did all the right things, and you acknowledged it to yourself--way to go!!!
hugs, hugs, hugs
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 527
I second what Scootin said. Reading this thread and what you have gone through has renewed my resolve. Thank you for this affirmation and a big hug and congrats for getting through the cravings and NOT GIVING IN!!!!
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