leviathon

I recently screwed up and became over confident and then drank... only for one day... but what a mess I became. My system just can't handle that crap. What I used to drink would now kill me.

I drank about 1/2 of what I used to be able to consume and I was debillitated for almost a week. Someone told me that as you get time in and your system is clean, it really does hit you a lot harder and then the cravings, etc., are also a lot more intense. He was RIGHT!

The one thing that I did right was to come here and admit my mistake. I have received so much support and undestanding. I am so much happier to be back on track once again and moving forward.

I hope that anyone else that experiences a slip will not hold back from admitting it and just coming clean.... I've found it is cathartic ... and really no one judges you.

Thanks to all my friends and soon to be friends here at SR I am back on track!

Peace, Levi

TamTam

Congrats, Levi on your honesty and strength. Thanks for the heads up on it being worse/taking less if you go back.. You probably just helped many people from trying that "1" drink to see if they can do it. I'll sure remember it!

Have a great, sober day!

leviathon

Hi TT, the funny thing is that in my heart I knew one drink was too many, but my mind didn't want to accept that I couldn't control it. Now I know that I cannot control it. I simply have to trust that my HP knows best and turn it over.

Peace, Levi

northbelle

Glad you came back. I know what you mean..last time I drank I was more miserable than ever too. Sent me into anxiety for DAYS..what a rotten feeling.
Glad you made it out of the pitt once again, We don't always get the chance to come back and I am glad you did..
love north

Jersey Nonny

At the risk of sounding selfish, "Better you than me", and thanks for reminding me one is too many...closely followed by a thousand not enough.

But, welcome back, Leviathon. Your location (presumably chosen when you weren't drinking) made me think you were probably wanting to say, "We're not in Sobriety anymore, Toto". Your pot of gold at the end of your rainbow is right here in Sober Recovery...dig in!

GlassPrisoner

Welcome back.

Look at the bright side, you can collect a lot of chips (and hugs)

liiise

i drank last saturday, today i'm still sick, coming down with a cold, havent' been myself all week

michski

good to see you back.. Glad you didn't have to do any extended research!

I'mready99

Good evening Levi...

They don't call the "swill" cunning and baffleing for nothing...

I need stories like this to keep me on an even keel. I had a heck of urge this evening on the way home from work while passing the liquor store. I thought of a certain person here and didn't want to let them down, hit the gas and kept going...

Hey, you admitted your mistake. It can happen to any of us at any time...

I'm glad your back...

One day at a time.

Steve

scootinbabe

you are such an inspiration, levi!

thanks for sharing your experience.

Cguse

I have thought about slipping myself a few times. But have "teamed up" with a fellow SR person and we have done a great job of helping each other out. I would suggest you do the same.

nelle4

It's great that you were able to get right back on track. Thanks for telling your experience.

leviathon

Well what I learned was that my mind is a pretty tricky little varmit at times... I was all very happy and wonderful as a result of my finding "the one" and it was easy to be confident that I had it all under control. Then I figured hey, I am healthy, I must be, look at this wonderful lady I am with. Then at the golf course I watched all others drinking... hey, I can do that too... well maybe not... but well maybe... I.e. the "stinking thinking" began.

I did not put that thought firmly out of my mind. I needed to really just say, NO, I CANNOT HAVE EVEN JUST ONE... MY BODY AND MIND ARE NOT LIKE THEIRS... MY BODY AND MIND CRAVE BOOZE ONCE IT IS IN MY SYSTEM. I AM NOT ABLE TO JUST HAVE ONE... IT STARTS AS JUST ONE AND THEN EVOLVES INTO JUST ONE... BOTTLE, ETC. What I did learn was that I needed to talk the moment this thought hit me... I needed to get out of my head and just deal with it. No rationalizing for me b/c the "stinking thinking" is pretty sneaky and gets set up in my mind set real quick like.

So, what I have really learned is two fold:

(1) I must constantly be vigilant for that "stinking thinking" thinking that I can just have one... NO I CAN'T!

(2) When I am struggling, to talk to my sweetie and to share here. Both of these actions helped me nip this at one day, rather than after a year, etc.

Peace and thank you all for your ongoing support.

Levi