Need a non-drinking buddy
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: corpus christi tx.
Posts: 3
Need a non-drinking buddy
[/B]
Hi, I wanted to write now I haven't even posted a profile yet or anything but I was very happy to find this site, I didn't know there were any forums like this available or maybe I never looked before. I HAVE QUIT DRINKING only since Friday though. I know I am going to need a lot of support from other people who understand. i am literally afraid of not drinking. I don't know who I will be without drinks,who I will hang out with and what will be my new interest. It is sad to think that for nine years my identity has been intertwined with my drinking lifestyle.I cannot just go out to have one or two drinks and then just go home and go to bed...I wish I could be like that but i cannot. I am really afraid for my health, I usually drink about 3 or 4 times a week, I am not a regular smoker (I hate smoking) but I obviously am a different person when I drink b/c I end up smoking about a pack of cig. every night I drink then the next day I feel terrible have a hard time funtioning the next day, then the next day I feel guilt and shame. I am rambleling on, I know I just don't know where to start and I am wondering if any of you have any simular feelings or experience in this? Please write me back. I would love a teammate with this expessally the first week or so. Thanks and good luck...I really want to be healthy.
Hi, I wanted to write now I haven't even posted a profile yet or anything but I was very happy to find this site, I didn't know there were any forums like this available or maybe I never looked before. I HAVE QUIT DRINKING only since Friday though. I know I am going to need a lot of support from other people who understand. i am literally afraid of not drinking. I don't know who I will be without drinks,who I will hang out with and what will be my new interest. It is sad to think that for nine years my identity has been intertwined with my drinking lifestyle.I cannot just go out to have one or two drinks and then just go home and go to bed...I wish I could be like that but i cannot. I am really afraid for my health, I usually drink about 3 or 4 times a week, I am not a regular smoker (I hate smoking) but I obviously am a different person when I drink b/c I end up smoking about a pack of cig. every night I drink then the next day I feel terrible have a hard time funtioning the next day, then the next day I feel guilt and shame. I am rambleling on, I know I just don't know where to start and I am wondering if any of you have any simular feelings or experience in this? Please write me back. I would love a teammate with this expessally the first week or so. Thanks and good luck...I really want to be healthy.
let it grow!
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 15,540
i have a alcoholic daughter in recovery - 60 plus days sober, in rehab. she attends aa meetings daily, and is making friends/acquantances through that. have you looked into aa in your community? good luck!
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,047
Justiff, please make an effort to at least try a few AA meetings. The word "Fellowship" has become very important in my life. In fact, it is my life, and becomes a way of life for many people.
My greatest fear when I came into the program was that my life would be dead. I thought I'd lose all the friends I had, that my children wouldn't want to be around me anymore, and that the rest of my life would be spent in isolation and misery.
It took me awhile (because I wasn't reaching out) to get to know people in AA, but once I did reach out my life became richer than I ever would've imagined. The only friends I lost were my drinking buddies, but I've made dozens of friends in recovery, all of them with the same disease that I have. Our similarities really do bring us together. Sure, I gave away my wife with my alcoholism, but my children have a father they're proud of, and they attend meetings with me every week. AA has become a new life for me. Holidays are spent with other alcoholics, we get together on the weekends with our kids, and we meet after every meeting. If there's ever a lull in my schedule as an alcoholic, it's because I've made the choice to isolate myself for awhile. It says in the Big Book that "we are not a dull lot", and after 21 months in the program I'd have to agree.
My greatest fear when I came into the program was that my life would be dead. I thought I'd lose all the friends I had, that my children wouldn't want to be around me anymore, and that the rest of my life would be spent in isolation and misery.
It took me awhile (because I wasn't reaching out) to get to know people in AA, but once I did reach out my life became richer than I ever would've imagined. The only friends I lost were my drinking buddies, but I've made dozens of friends in recovery, all of them with the same disease that I have. Our similarities really do bring us together. Sure, I gave away my wife with my alcoholism, but my children have a father they're proud of, and they attend meetings with me every week. AA has become a new life for me. Holidays are spent with other alcoholics, we get together on the weekends with our kids, and we meet after every meeting. If there's ever a lull in my schedule as an alcoholic, it's because I've made the choice to isolate myself for awhile. It says in the Big Book that "we are not a dull lot", and after 21 months in the program I'd have to agree.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: in a better place
Posts: 1,406
Even if you don't find one person with whom you have regular contact, you can post here every day and you'll have others posting back. In time you'll get to know the people here and vice versa. This whole site is like one big buddy system trying to help keep everyone clean and sober. And we're glad to have you here.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: corpus christi tx.
Posts: 3
Thanks so much for all your advice...I am really very shy and thats why I looked for online support first I guess. I am in the middle of a break-up from my 7 year b/friend(well not really in the middle b/c its been like 6 months now) but I have nearly killed myself in these six months thats when I realized this was out of control and getting worse. and it wasn't helping me in anyway if anything it was making the situation worse.I am a very private person and usually drink alone so not very many people even know I drink and maybe thats whats so shameful for me to know myself. well, I am trying to eat healthy, drink lots of water, and maybe I will even start some kind of exercise or join a gym...anything to rid myself of the nervous energy I am feeling when I want to drink.What are some thinks that have helped you guys in the first few weeks? any ideas will be appriciated. Thanks to all of you.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Highlands, TX
Posts: 1,192
Hi and welcome! I can relate to some of the things you mentioned. I am also a pretty private person even though I wouldn't say I'm exactly shy but I am reserved especially around people I don't know very well. Once I get to know you that's it all bets are off and God alone knows what might come out of my mouth LOL!
Anyway, although I could drink "socially" in front of people I did my real drinking in the privacy of my bedroom. I would plan for alone time, isolate and then stay drunk for an entire weekend. Most people had no clue until the end when it got really bad and I could no longer maintain my "front". The hangovers were worse, I got alcohol poisoning numerous times, I missed days from work and had to call in drunk trying not to sound drunk, and at the very end I had to sneak drinks throughout the day to stop the uncontrollable shaking. I managed to do all this damage in just 3.5 years.
It was very difficult for me to go to an AA meeting because I hated admitting that I had something that I absolutely could not control. I was embarassed at being powerless. My mom took me to my first meeting at my home group after 12 stepping me following a 4 day binge. I don't remember much at all about that meeting other than the fact that I felt that the people there 1) understood what I was going through, 2) didn't judge me as being a failure, and 3) really wanted to help me. An elderly lady reached out to me in my first meetings and really made me feel a part of the group. She called me and had me call her and started me on my first step. She is still very special to me and as luck would have it, I plan to marry her son next year so I will be getting her as a mother-in-law LOL!
I had just had a break-up of a relationship related to my drinking and I was devastated by that. Looking back now I know it was the very best thing that could have happened although it hurt like heck at the time. I know today that by being alone I was able to focus on me and trying to get sober. That was a full time job in itself and there is no way I personally could have done it within the context of that relationship. I firmly believe that there are no coincidences, everything happens for a reason whether we can see it then or not. A time will come later on when you look back and suddenly can see why things happened the way they did. Doesn't make it any easier when you're going through it though.
I hope you will continue to reach out here but I also hope you will consider some face to face support. You don't even have to say anything if you don't want to, nobody is going to force you to. You can just say your name and that you are new and there to listen. Nuff said.
Once again welcome. You are among friends who have different stories on how we got here but similar experiences battling our various addictions.
Hugs,
Kellye
Anyway, although I could drink "socially" in front of people I did my real drinking in the privacy of my bedroom. I would plan for alone time, isolate and then stay drunk for an entire weekend. Most people had no clue until the end when it got really bad and I could no longer maintain my "front". The hangovers were worse, I got alcohol poisoning numerous times, I missed days from work and had to call in drunk trying not to sound drunk, and at the very end I had to sneak drinks throughout the day to stop the uncontrollable shaking. I managed to do all this damage in just 3.5 years.
It was very difficult for me to go to an AA meeting because I hated admitting that I had something that I absolutely could not control. I was embarassed at being powerless. My mom took me to my first meeting at my home group after 12 stepping me following a 4 day binge. I don't remember much at all about that meeting other than the fact that I felt that the people there 1) understood what I was going through, 2) didn't judge me as being a failure, and 3) really wanted to help me. An elderly lady reached out to me in my first meetings and really made me feel a part of the group. She called me and had me call her and started me on my first step. She is still very special to me and as luck would have it, I plan to marry her son next year so I will be getting her as a mother-in-law LOL!
I had just had a break-up of a relationship related to my drinking and I was devastated by that. Looking back now I know it was the very best thing that could have happened although it hurt like heck at the time. I know today that by being alone I was able to focus on me and trying to get sober. That was a full time job in itself and there is no way I personally could have done it within the context of that relationship. I firmly believe that there are no coincidences, everything happens for a reason whether we can see it then or not. A time will come later on when you look back and suddenly can see why things happened the way they did. Doesn't make it any easier when you're going through it though.
I hope you will continue to reach out here but I also hope you will consider some face to face support. You don't even have to say anything if you don't want to, nobody is going to force you to. You can just say your name and that you are new and there to listen. Nuff said.
Once again welcome. You are among friends who have different stories on how we got here but similar experiences battling our various addictions.
Hugs,
Kellye
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: germantown-MD
Posts: 2
I never realize that could be a site like this! It is great I have been reading same of the posts. Thinking is will be so great if happened to my husband. I don't drink smoke or take drugs.
He does all of that 6 beers a day! too much for any age!
I sometimes have a hard time to deal with his problem but i also know does not matter what i do or not do. It is not going to chenge him!
He does all of that 6 beers a day! too much for any age!
I sometimes have a hard time to deal with his problem but i also know does not matter what i do or not do. It is not going to chenge him!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
