chicago

the last 4 years of using were pain and suffering. absolute hell. suicidal everyday. during high school i was a stoner and spent alot of time going to phish shows. when i turned 18 my group of friends got in raving and taking ecstasy. these were the days i spent 4 years chasing. we were young, had no responsibility, and spent entire weekends rolling our faces off. however by the time i was 20, the majority of my friends moved on to prepare for the real world. raving wasnt cool anymore and even if it was, the city of chicago banned raves and the scene died. when i was 22, my best friend died from drug overdose. PARTY OVER. while everyone else finished college and got real jobs, i was left alone abusing heroin.

it was no longer fun when people started dying (4 good friends in my network), everyone moved on, and i was left alone unfunctionable and crippled with drug addiction. it was a very very dark and lonely 4 years. as long as i keep those 4 years upfront in my memory, i like my odds of recovery.

Time2Surrender

Its been so long I cant even remember when it stopped being fun. It just became something I had to do and couldnt stop. Or so I thought. In 88 minutes I will have 18 months.

CarolD

The music stopped but it was years before I got off the
misery go round of addiction.

There is hope and healing for anyone willing to change!

Recovery is grand!

laurience

Chicago,
I am sorry to hear about your friends. Glad your still hear with us and clean. Wow..
Joanne

c'est la vie

I'm glad you're beating the odds. It started becoming very un-fun for me when I only wanted to drink alone at home and not see anyone.

miss communicat

Fun?
Drinking was fun for about the first 15 minutes. After that was either damage or damage control.

Kellye C

It stopped being fun for me when I no longer wanted to drink but I HAD to drink to stop the withdrawals. The last year of my drinking was absolute hell and I was terrified. On the one hand I wanted to stop and knew I needed to stop but the other part of me was so terrified of the withdrawals that I would do anything to keep them at bay. Then of course I couldn't just stop at 1. The blackouts, the hangovers, the guilt shame and remorse that filled every day. Not fun in the least.

GlassPrisoner

Quoted for Truth

REZ

It was fun at first, but it got less and less fun as it became more and more routine and I became more and more aware that I couldn't control it. I got tired of the life I had and wanted to try something new.

Stormtooth

It stopped being fun long before I quit. Many times in therapy we talked about "euphoric recall" or chasing the mythological memory of some desired state. Yet it never turned that way.

I remmeber what it was like to wake up three days into a binge barely able to walk across the dtreet and buying more alcohol just because I was afraid of not drinking, or somehow making it to work monday with my eyes bleeding from being hung over, and watching the clock so I get home and pour liquor in to myself just to feel normal.

Yes, it truly was that bad.

I used to get to the door of my apartment shaking and salivating with grumbling stomach and say out loud: "It's feeding time".

I started to dislike the taste of liqior as I pored helping after helping into myself fully aware that in oredr to get over the sympotoms I would have to drink *too much* again.

It stopped being fun a long, long, time ago.

cubbie

For me, drinking stopped being fun after I was arrested for my 3rd DWI offense on 9/17/06. I have been sober since then. It has not been difficult to stop drinking, but it has been difficult dealing with my friends. They don't understand why I don't hang out with them as much. It has also been difficult dealing with the limbo that my pending court case has put me in. When I think about drinking now, I get angry. I'm not sure if this is the best way to recover, but my anger has kept me from falling into my old ways.