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Old 11-27-2006, 08:13 PM
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Thumbs up Wtg!!!

WTG Hoeboe!!!

for your 5 days!!!!! ----

Keep on trudgin'

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Old 11-27-2006, 09:42 PM
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Hi Hoeboe,

I am so glad that things are going so well for you. I think the anxiety you talk about will disappear soon, as your body adjusts. And recognizing the problem of being within a close distance to the pills at your parents house, is good. Planning is so important.
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Old 11-28-2006, 12:00 AM
  # 43 (permalink)  
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I made it to my first AA meeting tonight! As I am sure all of you were at a treatment program, I was skeptical about the people I would find here. OH MY GOD! Unbelieveable! The people are all so nice and supportive and it sure felt good to talk (even though the words didn't come as fast as i thought they would) to others about it. The other stories I heard well imagine to my surprise ( or lack there of) sounded pretty close to mine. It was nice to have a sort of "pre-amble" if you will with this site. They really are just an extension of one another. Whether or not you are a 12 stepper or choosing a different path, we all know what the fundamental is.... "CHANGE!" To have the support both there and here are GREAT!

When I was telling my wife about it tonight she was asking me questions about it and I was kinda lost for words and couldn't realy explain much of it to her. I think she felt a bit confused and maybe (worried??) :/ I told Her that right now I can't explain it to her but maybe I will be able to once I go more and get to know the routine. I also told her that if she wanted to that she could go to a meeting or 2 of AL-ANON where she could find out about what I am going through from people who have experienced it first hand. I am sure she will do it.

I met a great guy there tonight who bought me "MY" copy of the Big Book. He has been sober 17 years. All he said when he gave it to me was "READ IT". I noticed when I got home that he had written in the front of it "You are never alone" and his phone number. He said to call at any time of the day or night and that he always answers his phone no matter what time of day, That felt good!

Anyway. I am up at 3am fighting the daily clusterheadache and also have to get up for work in 3hrs. I better try and get back at er and get what I can before the sun rises.

NO FEAR!
Hoeboe

P.S. I got my first chip tonight!! I gonna collect the whole set!! LOL
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Old 11-28-2006, 12:12 AM
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Sounds like you found a good meeting.

Yes, people are friendly, they accept you as you are, and you can usually identify with a lot of the stories that are shared.

That old timer sounds like potential sponsor *hint hint*

Good Luck and God Bless

Ty
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Old 11-28-2006, 07:43 AM
  # 45 (permalink)  
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That old timer sounds like potential sponsor *hint hint*
I totally agree, HoeBoe...as I mentioned on another thread, sometimes the sponsor chooses you, instead of the other way around.

If you haven't already, you might consider making that your "home group", too...sounds like a great meeting.
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Old 11-28-2006, 09:07 AM
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I'll definately be making it my home group. It's nice and close so I won't have any excuses.

Ah MAN! It's bad right now. Right after lunch everyday. Head is pounding and my gut feels like there are eagles flyin' around in there. Kinda hard to focus on doing actual work today. I have been spending some time on here to get my mind off it.

Half way through day 6! Only 1/2 to go.

NO FEAR!
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Old 11-28-2006, 11:50 AM
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You can do it; you sound great!
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Old 11-28-2006, 02:48 PM
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Had to go home right after lunch today. Clusterheadache rocked my world! It's weird because I NEVER got them at work in the past. Always at night. I guess I better have a chat with my boss to let him know of this condition and that I may need some flex time. He's so great anyway, he'll just brush me off and say "anything you need to do"

Had a nap after the HA (headache) only to wake up with it still throbbing. It seems so hopeless. Both sobriety AND these at the same time. UGH! I guess it's nothing new though since I have had the HA's going on 13 years. It's just the culmination of them at the same time that makes me think "um why was I doing this again?"

Took the time to actually start a journal today. I used to think, "why would anyone want to do that" LOL
It felt so good to get it out on paper "just for me".

Feeling a bit better now after taking a shower and washing some of the yukkies away. Gonna make a tea, feed the kids, help with homework, wash the baby.... HAHA COME ON 8 o'clock! (bedtime fo bambinos)

I just gotta keep thinking that "what doesn't kill me will only make me stronger!"
... That and...

NO FEAR!

Hoeboe

L8tr peeps!
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Old 11-29-2006, 06:41 AM
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Gonna make a tea, feed the kids, help with homework, wash the baby.... [/QUOTE]


What a guy!

How did you sleep- is your headache better? I hope each afternoon gets better for you.
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Old 11-29-2006, 09:58 AM
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Thanks for the concern Tamtam.

Headache was better after about 4pm. So far nothing today. That could change instantly though. (yeah I know...keep positive)

What a great day! Today is day 7 and so far today I have almost felt normal. No anxiety at all so far. Tonight is Cub Scouts, so we'll have to see how I feel after that! Man those little buggers can certainly burn you out. Good to know that I have a lot more energy now. Now I can channel that into something positive!

I think dropping the caffiene out of my diet yesterday might have been a bad thing. I wonder if that's why I felt so crappy and felt anxious most of the day. It got better when I had a soda and cup of tea.

BTW I have never tried quitting caffiene so I'm not sure how that makes you feel???... I tried quitting it wondering if it was that, that was making me anxious. Turns out it may have been what was keeping me sane.

NO FEAR!
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Old 11-29-2006, 10:15 AM
  # 51 (permalink)  
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I think dropping the caffiene out of my diet yesterday might have been a bad thing. I wonder if that's why I felt so crappy and felt anxious most of the day. It got better when I had a soda and cup of tea.
Ah, hah! Of course, the soda and tea probably had caffeine in them, which took the edge off.

You can absolutely suffer withdrawal symptoms when you cut out coffee. They made us drink caffeine-free in detox; but, I didn't have any side-effects...and, of course I don't remember what they suggested for anyone who did. You can probably find out on the internet.

Here you go:
Withdrawal effects:

Caffeine withdrawal can produce several side effects. These include:
Headaches
Irritability
Nervousness
Restlessness
Tiredness

Hints for cutting caffeine intake:
Reduce the amount of caffeine slowly to help avoid withdrawal symptoms. Cutting down at a rate of about 1/2 cup a day seems to avoid most side effects.

It may be helpful to keep a guide of how much caffeine you are consuming (including soft drinks) per week and begin cutting down slowly.

Some people prefer to suddenly stop drinking caffeine by going "cold turkey", however, the withdrawal effects can be quite severe with this method.

People experiencing withdrawal symptoms may find it helpful to drink a Coca-Cola.

Caffeine amounts in popular soft drinks per 12 oz cans:
SOFT DRINK/CAFFEINE LEVEL (mgs)
Mountain Dew/55.0 (no caffeine in Canada)
Diet Mountain Dew/55.0
Coca-Cola/45.6
Diet-Cola/45.6
7 Up/0

Caffeine amounts per 7 oz cups of coffee and tea:
DRINK/CAFFEINE LEVEL (mgs)
Espresso/100
Brewed coffee/80 - 135
Instant/65 - 100
Decaf, brewed/3 - 4
Decaf, instant /2 - 3
Tea iced/70
Tea brewed/40 - 60
Tea instant/30
(Caffeine is sometimes called "theine" when it is in tea).

Chocolate also contains caffeine. A 28 gram Cadbury chocolate bar contains about 15 mgs of caffeine.
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Old 11-29-2006, 05:10 PM
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Caffeine headaches are awful! You should taper off slowly.
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Old 11-30-2006, 02:18 PM
  # 53 (permalink)  
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The last 2 days have been GREAT! No anxiety at all. It's kinda scary though. As much as I wanted it to go I also kind of miss the reminder.

I am sure it may pop up again but I have been feeling really swell. I can hardly wait to the next AA meeting to discuss this and the pitfalls to look out for. I am not fooling myself into thinking "i'm cured" for I know there is no cure.

Doing lots of reading. "Living Sober" was a nice starter book for me. Only a couple days left in that and I will be onto the Big Book. I have never been a real religious man (more of a searching agnostic) but a very good friend of mine who is an evangelical Christian has given me a bunch of audio stuff from a Pastor James MacDonald that is really good. He kinda breaks it all down to the lowest common denominator for "ME". One of the sermons was "Getting out of the Valley". Boy did it ring true about the self absorbtion and me, me, me attitude that I carried while I drank.

I was kind of tested last night too. I am a Beaver/Cub leader and we had planned to go for a night hike. As it turns out 2 of the othe leaders didn't show for various reasons and it was left up to myself and the only other leader who was freaking about having to take 18 kids into the bush for a hike.
I told her "no problem we got this". So off we go into the dark with only a flashlight leading our way through the pitch and the drizzle.
We got back with all the kids loving it and wanting to go do it again. HAHA
And me not once ME thinking that "oh boy, I'll need a drink when I get home".

After reflecting this morning on our excursion the previous night I came to a wired paradoxial thought. It was interesting that "I" was guiding 18 innocent children through the dark with only a thin beam of light to see our way. And only 7 days before I had a couple people in MY life shining a different kind of light to help ME out of the dark. Reflection is SO important!

It really does make you think that there is a reason for EVERYTHING!

Thought of the day for ya all...
"To climb a mountain, starts with the first step and lots of gear. If you stumble on your way you may just find yourself at the bottom again" DON'T STUMBLE and keep the peak insight!

(can't believe I thought of that today LOL)

NO FEAR!
Hoeboe
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Old 11-30-2006, 02:30 PM
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Isn't it great to feel good! You should be really proud of yourself- congrats on 1 wk!!!!!
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Old 11-30-2006, 02:37 PM
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I am sure it may pop up again but I have been feeling really swell. I can hardly wait to the next AA meeting to discuss this and the pitfalls to look out for. I am not fooling myself into thinking "i'm cured" for I know there is no cure.
What you're feeling is often referred to by AA's as a pink cloud...others may think of it as complacency (becoming too comfortable with your early sobriety). Remember...alcoholism is cunning, baffling, powerful...requiring constant vigilance...so, it's good that you have the awareness and intend to guard against "the pitfalls."

It was interesting that "I" was guiding 18 innocent children through the dark with only a thin beam of light to see our way.
Now, hoeboe...surely you don't mean to take all the credit... Oh, that's OK...I'm sure He will forgive you.
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Old 11-30-2006, 02:49 PM
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Hoeboe,

It's so good to hear you doing well!
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Old 11-30-2006, 03:02 PM
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Touche raerob, touche! LOL You are absolutely right though. My bad.

"pink cloud" I heard that the other night at AA. I was wondering what it meant! Thanks, now I know!

Goin' to the doctors tomorrow to see what can be done about my headaches (once again). I will be fully disclosing what I have been up to and letting him know that I cannot take anything that remotely be "habit forming". From past experience I don't think that will be a problem since all the meds for Clusters make you feel like absolute sh!t. Hopefully there have been some advances since I was last in for a visit.
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Old 11-30-2006, 04:45 PM
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Actually Rarebob, I've heard the "Pink Cloud" is an extreme enthusiasm shown by a new AA. Also, a new AAs appreciation of being sober.

Congratrs Hoboe. Keep going to meetings, and talk to that old guy *nudge*
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