Cguse

Ok, so I don't talk to my mom alot because she lives 2000 miles away (and just moved closer, the last 8 years she had been living in England). So she e-mailed me, and I replied and told her about my treatment plans. This is what she e-mailed me back:

So what is this treatment you are going to start on Monday? Will your insurance cover it? Kinda a hard time to start anything with the holidays coming up but I suppose there will always be something coming up so Monday is as good a day as any. Move to Georgetown. There is only one bar and not a very nice one at that so if we go out it is only once a week. We spend all of $10. Two pictures of beer @ $4 each and a tip. Big spenders.

Doesn't seem all that supportive does it?? Or am I making a big deal over nothing???

leviathon

More to the point, it seems that she has missed the point all together. You are talking about having an alcohol problem, she off sets it by saying move to a town where you can only drink once in a while... what about the problem?

Not supportive at all if you ask me.

Levi

I'mready99

Good evening Crystal...

Do you think that your Mom has a drinking problem. She sounds like she is either a sociable drinker and does not understand alcohol addiction. That may be why she dosen't sound supportive. Or she has a problem and dosen't want to admit you do...

I would explain to her the situation with you and hope she understands...

Have a GREAT sober Thanksgiving...

One day at a time.

Steve

liiise

nope she doesn't get it , at alllllllllll pay no mind to it

Cguse

Thanks everyone, I just didn't want to think I was going crazy or something. I think it is her attempt at sarcasm (which sadly I get from her). But I am not going to e-mail her back. I am not in the mood to explain myself to her tonight.

liiise

actually it's kind of negative!! is your mom an alcoholic or does she hate that you are??

Cguse

My mom thinks that we should have raised ourselves to be perfect. I try not to talk to her often. But she is still your mother, what can I do?? I didn't reply to her last e-mail, it is better just to let it lie. I like to think maybe she thinks about what she said and thinks that it is a little weird, but I know that isn't how it goes.

Jersey Nonny

Hmmmn...I lived downstairs from my Mom for many years...she must have known there was something going on, what with the cops being called frequently after hubby and I would go at it after getting soused together.

When I finally went into detox, she told my sister, "Thank goodness she's doing something about her problem."

After I was sober through AA for a good number of years, she said, "You just drank a little too much." What!?!

Take your Mom's comments with a grain of salt. We alcoholics tend to be a sensitive bunch...I used to say I was hyper-sensitive...but, now that I've been sober a while, I'm only super-sensitive. You really don't have to convince or explain to anyone...as long as you know what you're doing and why.

chicago

in the words of the great philospher the fresh prince of bel-air..."parents just dont understand." no seriously though, family members dont understand and we shouldnt expect them too. unless they are in Al-Anon they have no idea. we are recovering for ourselves, because we personally cant go through the pain again.

i try not to expect my family to understand because when i place expectations of people i get let down.

gypsytears

That message sounds either sarcastic as you said, or she is clueless to the extent of things . If not replying is the best way to respond to it, do what's best for you.

Kellye C

I had the same reaction as those who posted above. Sounds like either she is clueless or has no idea HOW to respond so opted for tongue in cheek. Either way don't let it get to you (I know easier said than done). Focus on getting through until Monday and then throw yourself into recovery. As long as you know what you're doing and why that is all that matters.

Big hugs to you!
Kellye

karrotop

when i was growing up,it was always all about,"what will the neighbors think"....when i tried to talk to my mother about my problem,all she was concerned about was,"do you drink at work?" and,"do you drink and drive?".....she has no clue,which i guess is good......she and dad never drank,but all of us kids have/had a problem......one brother died of his disease at 42.....and my brother and i both agree that our parents drove us to drink.....hahahahha....but i guess it's the same with all of us,and our parents....

barb dwyer

denial?

mikel60

Hi CGuse,
Does she know that you are going in to an alcohol teatment center? If yes, tell her the treatment is for an elbow injury and you might exacerbate your injury pouring the pitchers of beer. She might get that. Mike in Boston
ps - My parents got it all too well, but weren't too supportive. Probably because I was the tornado that passed through their lives on a daily basis. Hang in there and do what's best for yourself. good luck.

Rusty Zipper

cguse, just keep working on you...!

IMO...the mamma, thats her stuff...

xxoo, rz

indigo

I agree with Rusty, concentrate on you.

indie

scootinbabe

i agree with rusty. it doesn't matter what anyone else says or does. concentrate on you and getting well. you will be better equipped to handle issues in the future but, right now, your entire focus is on getting better.

you can't control anyone else. and with email, tone and intent is very hard to discern. i would err on the positive side and guess that your mom is trying her best to be supportive and means well but may not know how to appropriately show it.

best of luck with your program! we'll all be here when you get back!

nogard

well you got the answers and if it were me I would let it go and focus on my treatment and my life sober as a No 1 goal.

Kevin


Kevin