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HELP! I'm stuck in an AA Round-Up and the Prozac BS continues!



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HELP! I'm stuck in an AA Round-Up and the Prozac BS continues!

Old 11-18-2006, 01:51 PM
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HELP! I'm stuck in an AA Round-Up and the Prozac BS continues!

So I'm here in an AA Round up with my Sponsor and his Sponsor. My sponsor asked me why I moved my leg all the time, then I said it was anxiety. So then they started with the "Prozac" story all over again.

My sponsor asked me what helped me most Prozac or the Serenity Prayer and I said Prozac. Then his Sponsor started saying that he had some Valiums in the car that I could combine with the Prozacs. I then told them that I didn't want to talk about the subject anymore.

His sponsor then started to talk about God, to leave everything up to him. I knew what he was trying to say, leave everything to God and then stop the Prozac. He didn't say that, but I know his intention. He kept saying that he wasn't talking about Prozac, but I kept telling him that I didn't want to talk about it.

If he's telling me to leave everything to God, he is clearly saying that I should leave everything to God and that he will take my anxiety away so I won't need my pills? Don't you guys agree?

Well I kept saying that I didn't want to talk about it and he said that he was talking only about God. He got pissed off and we left were we where.

We came back to the hotel, now my Sponsor wanted to talk to me. He tells me that he wants to talk about God, I said OK, but I wanted to clear up the situation. That I didn't feel that it was right that he kept talking about that because I knew were he was going. He then said that if I kept bringing it up I felt insecure about it, I told him that I didn't that it just bothered me that they kept bringing it up. He kept saying that I felt insecure about it and that I was bringing it up, I got pissed off and didn't stop talking about it, and got really obsessive about it...

He asked me who brought it up? And I said you did, you asked me why I moved my feet all the time and then asked me if the Serenity Prayer or Prozac helped me the most. So I got pissed off and didn't stop arguing about the same thing over and over. He then stood up and left.

So I'm here in some other town with a bunch of AA people. I don't feel welcomed really, I feel like an outsider. My two "friends" who I'm with are pissed off at, so it's REALLY uncomfortable, right now I'm in the lobby, thank God they have WiFi so I have something to do.

What should I do now?
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Old 11-18-2006, 02:46 PM
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Indigo...dare I to say, "It seems to me I've heard this song before"...or lyrics very similar.

I just don't know what it is you want/expect to hear. I guess I'll just keep praying that somehow you'll stay sober and God will let you know which path to take...one that will finally offer you some serenity and peace of mind.
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Old 11-18-2006, 02:57 PM
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((((((((((((INDIGO))))))))))))
At the risk of being flamed here, Im gonna take a leap......isnt HONESTY part of RECOVERY????? You said your leg was moving due to anxiety and that the prozac helped better then the serenity prayer right??? I apoligize ahead of time to anyone who disagrees BUT.....I am an alcoholic...I have been on anti-anxiety meds for years....without them, I can NOT function in a normal manner...is it addiction? NOPE it is a chemical imbalance in my brain......the point is...follow your gut here....I didnt realize that preaching ...rather it be about God or prozac......was part of the program!?!?!? Support is important...Truth is another....sounds to me like you are doing what you need to do.....SOBER........stay strong, I hope this makes sense right now, you are such an inspiration.
Much Love,
Liss
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Old 11-18-2006, 03:15 PM
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Thanks again. But my problem now is that I'm in a roundup out of town with these two guys, and things are tense between them and me... and it feels really uncomfortable and I don't know what to do!!!!
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Old 11-18-2006, 03:20 PM
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I totally agree with Lollipop. I don't have an advice for you, but I am sending you lots of loving hugs and support vibes. Hang in there.
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Old 11-18-2006, 03:33 PM
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IndigoNA,
I'm sending you vibes too.
It sounds like you tried to be assertive and straightforward, to the point of challenging whether they were being likewise, and maybe they gave up discussing their true position with you too soon. Maybe they are both having a succession of bad days. Maybe they got the point and have gone away to think about it!!! It definitely isn't AA to have your sponsor's sponsor as a sponsor (as such) also. You should hope to make recovering friends though, with whoever you like and can. Whether that includes your sponsor's sponsor should be left to chance. Sounds like either your sponsor's sponsor can't trust your sponsor or your sponsor can't trust himself. Pick up literature while you are at the convention, there is a booklet about sponsors, I can't remember what it says.
(In the Big Book it was someone that went looking for "Prospects" and every situation varies plus times change. It was implied the sponsor was the person you did some substantial parts of Steps 4 & 5 with, I know little more)
Hoping you can hit it off with other participants and maybe end up with contact details. Even if only to phone or write, and seldom see them.
(I'm lucky here to have nine meetings a week within 12 miles by public transport)
I hope the two guys will notice you having such a joyous time without them the next day and a bit, that they will want to take a leaf out of your book.
Also among your regular meetings perhaps you will find some types who are more open minded about "getting outside help" and more faithful to the Twelve Traditions - I hope so
Do keep in touch with us about how you get on
I now face returning to local AA groups and announcing to all and sundry that I have been & am carrying on getting Outisde Help.
It's only that some people talk to loud for us to not be bugged by it, and too loud for themselves to hear others as quick as they otherwise might.
All the best & more vibes to you

P.S "Getting Outside Help" - what a powerful theme for an AA Convention in itself!
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Old 11-18-2006, 03:36 PM
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I know what path to take I'll continue with my meds no matter what. But I'm sick and tired from others to give me sh*t about it... what do they care?

It's my life, it's my recovery, if I f*ck up it's gonna be me...

What's with the controlling?

You carry the message not the alcoholic. Everything is a suggestion.
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Old 11-18-2006, 04:03 PM
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Although I empathize with your position right now, I think you may be overlooking one possibility. You're at an AA function, I'm taking it? They (those you're feeling so uncomfortable being around) are no doubt going along their merry way, doing things, talking about things, and thinking about things that have nothing to do with you or Prozac. So, how about you do the same? Or, if I misunderstood and you're not at a sober function, why not rejoin the party, ignoring references to your anxiety and its treatment, and participate in the conversation that should (if they've got anything else going in their lives but the issues of others) turn towards other things. If they continue to hound you, yank out the Big Book and turn to page 133 where it says:

But this does not mean that we disregard human health measures. God has abundantly supplied this world with fine doctors, psychologists, and practitioners of various kinds. Do not hesitate to take your health problems to such persons. Most of them give freely of themselves, that their fellows may enjoy sound minds and bodies. Try to remember that though God has wrought miracles among us, we should never belittle a good doctor or psychiatrist. Their services are often indispensable in treating a newcomer and in following his case afterward.
Hang in there, Indigo. You can't change their behavior, but you can learn to lead by example. I got sober in a place where folks either misunderstood or purposely twisted the message. I got sober, and I got better. That whole thing about you not liking to read the Big Book? There's a lot of good recovery in those first 164, and the knowledge you'll come away with will help you immensely in dealing with the egos of others.

I wish you well, and I'm sending prayers your way.

Peace & Love,
Sugah
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Old 11-18-2006, 04:11 PM
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Lollipop...I can't imagine anyone at Sober Recovery flaming you...I've only seen empathy, caring, and support here...which is what has been extended to Indigo by many of us on several previous threads...

My Sponsor Thinks He's a Psychiatrist
Response:
As long as you are being treated by a physician and or psychiatrist who knows your background and understands alcoholism/addiction, take your meds as prescribed...use, do not abuse...don't drink/drug, and make meetings.

Oh, and get yourself a new sponsor!
----------------------------------------------
Now My Sponsor's Sponsor Thinks He's a Psychiatrist
Response:
You really should find yourself another sponsor (even a temporary one), stay away from either of these guys, find other meetings where you won't be running into them...above all, don't drink; but, stay on your meds until your doctor weans you off of them!
------------------------------------------

Indigo...I don't doubt that your sponsor and his sponsor believe what they are saying...I'm sure they have your best interests at heart. But, as has already been agreed upon elsewhere, neither of them is a doctor/psychiatrist. They aren't qualified to give you medical advice.

Fortunately, you are sober enough to realize this, and will continue to take your meds as prescribed by your doctor. Just don't drink!

I hope, since you're stuck there anyway, you'll be able to get some good out of being at the AA Round-Up.
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Old 11-18-2006, 04:23 PM
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Indigo,

Many people have made the suggestion to you many times, to lose your sponsor.

You don't want to hear it. Maybe at some point you will.
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Old 11-18-2006, 06:21 PM
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Hey Indigo, sounds like you need to get a new sponsor. While your "stuck" there might be a good idea to work out how to either extricate yourself or enjoy the round-up.

Recentlly I have discovered that whenever I start pointing a finger and letting the anger flow that there is something going on with me. As they say here pointing my finger at others leaves 3 fingers pointed back at me. Not a big deal just that there may be some things you can learn about you for your benifit in recovery.

Thinking of you.

Kevin
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Old 11-18-2006, 06:40 PM
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Thanks a lot for your support. Very helpful.

That quote that Sugah posted from 133 would be great to smash it in their faces since they are all fanatic about the Big Book and what it says. But I know it has no use.
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Old 11-18-2006, 08:47 PM
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Hi Indigo,

I had to fire my first sponsor because of some inappropriate behavior and understand what you are going through. I've had my current sponsor for almost a year and am much more comfortable with him. Get another sponsor. These folks have no place giving you medical advice or countering your physician. Where I come from in the AA world, depression meds and the like are recognized as ok as long as a dr. is prescribing them, they are taken as prescribed, and the reasons for taking them are legitimate. Sounds like you just got a bad sponsor there.

Is there any way you can leave the company of these jolly fellows and go home? Maybe you could go to a meeting you are comfortable with in your home town and start that process of finding a sponsor that has what you want.

Hang in there my friend. Had a lot of the same feelings a while back.

Jup.
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Old 11-29-2006, 01:55 PM
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WOW! I had forgotten about your dilemma, Indigo. It's interesting that someone (other than you) decided to resurrect this thread...but, since it's up again...

How did the rest of the round-up go? Have you been able to find a more suitable sponsor? How is everything else with you?
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Old 11-29-2006, 01:57 PM
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As sugah pointed out, AA has nothing against prescribed meds. There are conditions that need medical attention. You can't simply double up on meetings, for example, to heal a broken leg......
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