Tia

I had pretty good control of my drinking .. ok well maybe not, but it wasn't that bad, ok i'm lying.. it was bad, but now it's worse.. there that sums it up better. A few weeks ago my boyfriend was shot(!) but he survived. Long story.. but it seems like now if I try to have A drink it turns into 10-15. I totally go overboard. A few days ago I went totally off the wall and freaked out while I was really drunk. Oh I'm still feeing so guilty .. ug.. I know the answer is to totally stop drinking and right now that seems easy because I have that major shame factor kicking in that keeps me away from the drink for at least a week... then the feeling fades and I'm right back where I started. Tonight we're going to see a counselor to talk about what happened and how to deal with things.. I just wanted to vent and call myself out on this one. I know what I need to do, it's just always easier said then done.. Esp. around this time of year with the holidays coming up and stuff. Any tips? Advice?

Jersey Nonny

I was told that when I think I'm in control (especially with drinking), I'm already out-of-control.

I started by drinking only on the weekends...I was a periodic for many, many years...but, eventually the periods got closer and closer together, until I was drinking daily...it just kind of snuck up on me. Alcoholism is a progressive disease, so the loss of control and the increase in drinking is par for the course.

You might consider talking to the counsellor about what's going on with you. Hopefully he/she will have some knowledge of alcoholism/alcohol abuse, and will be able to advise you accordingly.

Keep us posted.

1_day@_a_time

This is a disease & it needs to be treated like a DISEASE.

For me, this includes formal recovery, taking direction, being coachable, listening, working with a sponsor, working the 12 steps, applying them in my life and doing EVERYTHING differently.

It's a process.

Most alcoholics are stubborn, defiant, (me included) and want to do it all THEIR WAY.....

Odd isn't it, as OUR WAY is what got us here in the first place.

Don't even try alone..........

Anna

Hi Tia and Welcome,

I think what you're talking about is that sobriety is about much more than stopping drinking. Stopping drinking is the beginning of the journey. It's about looking at yourself and changing things in your life so that you are able to cope with life's problems without drinking. It's a long, slow process and you can find lots of support here.

Tia

I know exactly what you mean.. I seem to think I can have "just one or two" when really I know I can't. I have no off button. And suddenly it's totally out of control. And now with the added stress I feel like it's 100 times worse. I was glad I remembered about this forum because it really helps to hear that I'm not the only one.. and I don't want to wind up in a situation I can't get myself out of. When I freaked out the other day I even scared myself.. and since then I'm suddenly afraid to drink. But worse is I know this feeling will wear off and I'm afraid I'll go back.. I just don't want to.. I'm hoping I have the strength to do this.. one day at a time, I guess.

liiise

I was the same way it's like 'overnight' i couldn't handle it anymore, remember alcohol is a progressive disease you can never go back now! it only gets worst , trust me