Hang in there.
Try to work on moving forward. Do something every day - physically, mentally and spiritually - to help move your recovery forward. Every day it takes work in all the areas of my life in order to keep on this journey.
But, I would say that it is very hard. And, if you're not convinced you're an alcoholic, then it's going really, really difficult to stay sober.
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.