not_boux

In addition to his alcoholism, he has agoraphobia and anxiety issues. Today is our first anniversary. He has no money to get me a gift or even a card, but he found a way to buy a $25 bottle of Maker's Mark yesterday. I begged him to please stay sober today and he began drinking upon waking up.

I have so many, many things that are eating me up. I hold a job, go to school full time, and take him to appointments and talk to Doctors and fill out papers. I am 37 years old and have a son, but cannot afford to live anywhere but in my parent's basement. I hate this man so much I can't even put it into words. He never leaves. When I beg for time alone he says that he gets lonely and I'm the only friend that he's got. He has no job.

I just got done eating our one year anniversary cake with my stepmother so that our anniversary would be acknowledged by somebody. This isn't the person that I married. Obviously, I need a divorce (I dropped my wedding ring into his glass of bourbon when he was in the other room and then went to another part of the house). Today I applied for housing, and I'm hoping that I can move out soon....... My parents feel sorry for him and won't make him leave. He isn't going to give up the sweet life he's got going on here. So, I have to move out. I'm angry about that. He does nothing but reaps all the rewards. I have my own problems but I deal with them!

God help me, I hate him. And everyone is so focused on him that my feelings just fall in the cracks. Sometimes I wish that I could trade places with him, but I know that he hates himself more than I hate him.

I could keep rambling for days here. Thanks for listening.

Anna

I am sorry for your difficult situation.

You might check out the Friends and Families forum on this board where you will find lots of support.

CarolD

Welcome to SR!

Mega Hugs and Prayers coming your way.

Have you thought of Al anon meetings?
You will find a lot of support and
understanding there.

not_boux

Yes, I want desperately to go to an al-anon meeting but nobody knows of any in my town. I'm sure that there has to be one somewhere! I called the 24 hour AA crisis hotline twice and nobody answers. I'm going to go as soon as I can find a meeting. But I was hoping to find someone to talk to today, since this is such a sad occasion. I will definitely post in the friends and family forum, thanks. I just got a PM telling me to introduce myself here, so I figured that I would.

Thank you for your response.

1_day@_a_time

Consider your FIRST, VERY BRAVE AND COURAGEOUS STEP coming here and speaking up for yourself!!!!

You still around this evening?

not_boux

Yes, I am reading all this information. Read the Al-Anon self test. I am crying but at least I'm not alone. I thought I was the only "B*TCH". This is amazing.

1_day@_a_time

May I suggest an excellent book by Melody Beattie called "Codependent No More"?

She is an wonderful author!

1_day@_a_time

ALANON

www.kansascity-alanon.org www.missouri-al-anon.org

Missouri - (816) 373-8566

4212 S. Hocker Rd. Suite 270 E., Independence, MO 64050
Kansas (913) 384-4653 ANSWERING SERVICE

Perhaps this will help..........

Tom

not_boux

Yes, thank you! Sounds like required reading for me........ ha. I will see if my school library has it tomorrow. Is it very dull? I got finals, you know.

1_day@_a_time

nope, certainly not as dull as finals!

LOL.......

1_day@_a_time

Here are the Ala-non meetings for North Kansas City:

http://www.kansascity-alanon.org/ima...0&%20Where.htm

1_day@_a_time

?????????