IndigoNA

It has nothing to do with drinking/using.

So I was in this class with this girl. I gave a presentation. The presentation was great, she really liked it. She then contacted me because I'm a business major and her husband is into business. I felt really good to start making my contacts even though I'm just a freshman. So I got really excited about the opportunity I was already having (being excited was not my problem, I could handle this).

So we meet and he gives me a brochure, when he did that it already looked shady. Plus he had some box with some companies name, that looked shady, with brochures, audio CDs, catalogs etc. So he starts explaining everything and his 3rd brochure page said something like this: "So you are going to have your own website, with your company name, and you are going to sell... blah blah blah" When I read this, I knew what it was already. One of those Multi-Level-Scams. Even though I know they're legal I see them as scams.

This guy WAS a good sales man. He was over sympathetic. I offered him water because that's all I drank I said, he said, oh that's all I drink too. He ask me if I read a lot because he saw some books of mine and I said, no, they're for school, I'm kinda ADD, he said he was the same. I said I was visual, he was visual too. Thank God I have a good "sense of smell" because I could detect him from start, from the time he introduced himself and hadn't even begun his "sale".

These people just annoy me. And I would never want to be one of them. Basically they're getting you into their program so you can buy their stuff and they'll make money off of it, and the people you get in it, when they buy stuff they'll get a % commission from their purchases too.

So this is my problem. From the beginning I knew it was fishy. He then showed me "the website" thing and I already knew what it was. But I stood throughout the presentation without the guts to say, hey listen I'm not interested. He left me a bunch of stuff, and I told him I was going to think about it. So he's going to call me tomorrow (Sunday) to see what's up.

Why couldn't I say NO upfront?

I'd like to hear your thoughts, thanks.

Anna

It could be because you're a 'people-pleaser' like I was. It's also called 'the disease to please' because it is a disease and it can be deadly. It will take you away from the real purpose that you have here and lead you off on tangents in search of something that isn't there.

Part of the process of recovery is to learn to listen to your inner voice. It's there, it's your soul and if you listen, you'll hear it.

IndigoNA

You think I should have said NO, as soon as I knew that I wasn't interested?

Jersey Nonny

Indigo...I don't know what astrological sign you are, or even if you believe in such things. I happen to be a Libra, and some of our characteristics are that we like balance (The Scales), are peacemakers, don't like confrontation.

The important thing is that you didn't "bite", no matter how good a salesman or con-artist he was.

Quote:

So he's going to call me tomorrow (Sunday) to see what's up.

When he calls you, just tell him you read the literature, have had time to think about it, and are not interested. "Thanks, but no thanks."

Then, stand your ground...sometimes it's easier to do on the phone than face to face. And, don't put yourself down, or think of yourself as a whoose...you just naturally avoid confrontation. That's not a bad thing.

marle

Don't feel badly. For years I was a telemarketer's best friend. I finally gave myself permission to just say a polite no and hang up. I remember the one time I won a free carpet cleaning. I thought it was legit until I saw the guy who showed up to do it. He gave me the song and dance about having to clean the carpet to get his commission. I let him clean my carpet but told him I was not sure about buying the vacuum. I gave him the story about having to ask my husband. He came back a couple days later and I had to tell him no. It would have been easier for me to say no before he ever started the bs. Live and learn Marle

nogard

Sounds like good advice.

Kevin

drew_61

Hey, don't feel too badly, man...you saw it was a scam and you didn't commit to anything. It takes practice to get used to saying "Thanks, but no thanks". He's been rejected before, he'll be rejected again (tomorrow, lol) and he won't take it personally. Honestly, it sounds like you really have your sh*t together to me. You're doing well in school, you gave a great presentation, you saw this guy for what he is and I guarantee that you will soon find a way to say politely "Thanks...but no thanks". I don't think this is some kind of personality flaw...I think it's a matter of practice makes perfect. Good luck.

IndigoNA

Thanks for the tips... I appreciate it!

IndigoNA

Yeah I'm a people pleaser.

I used to always have cocaine on me and I would offer it to certain people, to get accepted I suppose. So I think it's kind of the same deal. Have the courage, have the self-esteem, be secure about it and say no. Think on my best interest and not feel bad for people... anyways he'll call today Sunday and I'll say no and will have to give him the stuff back, it's a start for practice... I'll let you guys know how it goes.

laurience

Good luck, you will do fine. I was a people pleaser as well but I am getting much better. It does take practice and sometimes I even feel selfish. We need to think about us right now.
Joanne

IndigoNA

He called, I thought it was going to be over the phone, but no, he came to my room. And I told him the truth, that I was being honest with him and that I was not interested. That I had been offered other Multi-Level-Marketing businesses and that I had turned them down.

Made me feel better. Thx.