sponser ?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Charlotte, NC
Posts: 60
sponser ?
Hello! I picked up my white chip 4 days ago and feel great . I want to get a sponser but don't know who or how to ask. A part of me wants someone to just start telling me what to do and I'll call them my sponser. haha
What do I look for in a sponser? Starting the steps is important to me, but I can't seem to get the courage to ask for help. I'm sooooo shy(drinking was a big help for this!) Anyway. I'm 25 and feel lucky to have had friends and family in the program for a long time. I use drinking to feel smarter, cuter, and just plain better about myself. It's gotten to the point where I either go out and drink at bars or stay at home on the couch reading and watching movies. Going to the grocery store is a chore, because I feel like I have to look perfect and the possible interaction with people scares me. This has been so gradual I didn't even notice how I was changing. My friends would be shocked if I told them any of this I have put on the "everything is wonderful act" for too long. I feel a little crazy, but I know what the steps do for people. Sorry to ramble. Too much COFFEE!
Jenn
What do I look for in a sponser? Starting the steps is important to me, but I can't seem to get the courage to ask for help. I'm sooooo shy(drinking was a big help for this!) Anyway. I'm 25 and feel lucky to have had friends and family in the program for a long time. I use drinking to feel smarter, cuter, and just plain better about myself. It's gotten to the point where I either go out and drink at bars or stay at home on the couch reading and watching movies. Going to the grocery store is a chore, because I feel like I have to look perfect and the possible interaction with people scares me. This has been so gradual I didn't even notice how I was changing. My friends would be shocked if I told them any of this I have put on the "everything is wonderful act" for too long. I feel a little crazy, but I know what the steps do for people. Sorry to ramble. Too much COFFEE!
Jenn
JUST DO IT!!
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Here Or There
Posts: 7,612
Sponsorship
One addict helping another is an essential part of the N.A. program. It is therefore highly recommended that members of Narcotics Anonymous find a sponsor. A sponsor is a member of N.A. who helps another member of the fellowship by sharing their experience, strength and hope in recovery and serves as guide through the Twelve Steps. A substantial number of N.A. members suggest getting a sponsor of the same sex (or of opposite sexual preference) with over one year clean time, although there are no such rules. Any N.A. member is free to choose any other member as a sponsor.
One addict helping another is an essential part of the N.A. program. It is therefore highly recommended that members of Narcotics Anonymous find a sponsor. A sponsor is a member of N.A. who helps another member of the fellowship by sharing their experience, strength and hope in recovery and serves as guide through the Twelve Steps. A substantial number of N.A. members suggest getting a sponsor of the same sex (or of opposite sexual preference) with over one year clean time, although there are no such rules. Any N.A. member is free to choose any other member as a sponsor.
Love and Respect
Vic
everything is already ok
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Melbourne Victoria Australia
Posts: 19,793
In general; look for someone with some clean time up (5 years is good), someone who has what you want (I knew when I heard my sponsor share that I wanted some of the things he clearly has) and just approach them and ask, also get members No's and phone them to talk and share.
Kevin
Kevin
Member
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 348
Hi!!
I went through that before. I think you have generalized or social anxiety. I also know what you mean when you say that your friends would be shocked. At that time, I felt it was a weakness and I was embarrassed so I never told anybody however I was shaking inside and I thought too that my friends would think I was nuts.
When you feel anxious, instead of fighting the feeling tell yourself. It's o.k. I am safe, I am calm.. Accept the feeling instead of trying to fight it. Also, maybe you can work a bit on your self-esteem and fall in love with yourself. Become your own best friend. If ever you need or want any advice, pls don't hesitate to private message me. Good luck.
Joanne
I went through that before. I think you have generalized or social anxiety. I also know what you mean when you say that your friends would be shocked. At that time, I felt it was a weakness and I was embarrassed so I never told anybody however I was shaking inside and I thought too that my friends would think I was nuts.
When you feel anxious, instead of fighting the feeling tell yourself. It's o.k. I am safe, I am calm.. Accept the feeling instead of trying to fight it. Also, maybe you can work a bit on your self-esteem and fall in love with yourself. Become your own best friend. If ever you need or want any advice, pls don't hesitate to private message me. Good luck.
Joanne
Old & Sober Member of AA
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Nursing Home in Brick, New Jersey
Posts: 5,174
The pamphlet, "Questions and Answers on Sponsorship" published by AAWS, gives many suggestions of what a sponsor does and does not do. Strangely enough, one thing it does not mention is that the sponsor helps the newcomer take the actions described by the steps. It only suggests that the sponsor "goes over the meaning of the steps and helps the newcomer understand their importance." Hmmm...
What has become apparent to many of us who love AA is that where there is strong sponsorship, there is strong AA, where there is weak sponsorship, there is weak AA.
What has become apparent to many of us who love AA is that where there is strong sponsorship, there is strong AA, where there is weak sponsorship, there is weak AA.
Old & Sober Member of AA
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Nursing Home in Brick, New Jersey
Posts: 5,174
I got a sponser...a "temporary one".
everything is already ok
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Melbourne Victoria Australia
Posts: 19,793
Way to Go 
I saw my spnsor las night always good.
I also took a young woman along to her first NA meeting, which is my home group. It brought tears to my ears to see her surrounded by women giving her so much support and love.
Kevin
I saw my spnsor las night always good.
I also took a young woman along to her first NA meeting, which is my home group. It brought tears to my ears to see her surrounded by women giving her so much support and love.
Kevin
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