Here I am
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Chicago suburbs
Posts: 18
Pardon if I'm using this thread like a journal.. i'm just clinging to it right now..
My husband just called on his way home and asked if I was up for a few beers tonight. Looks like this is going to be something I have to be strong enough to do on my own. And GOD give me the strength not to break down and have any tonight - he's coming home with some even though I told him I'm not drinking anymore. His response tonight was 'well - weekends are ok?' No.. not for me.. I could cry right now. I don't want to fight with him - and my problem is not his problem.. he RARELY drinks.. I had the lil one out today with me and he went out with the boys. I wish he understood how hard this is for me.
My husband just called on his way home and asked if I was up for a few beers tonight. Looks like this is going to be something I have to be strong enough to do on my own. And GOD give me the strength not to break down and have any tonight - he's coming home with some even though I told him I'm not drinking anymore. His response tonight was 'well - weekends are ok?' No.. not for me.. I could cry right now. I don't want to fight with him - and my problem is not his problem.. he RARELY drinks.. I had the lil one out today with me and he went out with the boys. I wish he understood how hard this is for me.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,460
It is tough, no question about that.
You need to focus on yourself and you can get through this. Yes, it won't be easy if your husband is drinking around you and suggesting you drink. But, you need to do this for yourself. And, you're right, your problem is not his problem. My husband and kids had and have absolutely no clue how hard this was for me. Most people who are not alcoholics cannot understand. That's why I come here where people know what I'm talking about.
It will get easier each time you get through a craving. Hang in there.
You need to focus on yourself and you can get through this. Yes, it won't be easy if your husband is drinking around you and suggesting you drink. But, you need to do this for yourself. And, you're right, your problem is not his problem. My husband and kids had and have absolutely no clue how hard this was for me. Most people who are not alcoholics cannot understand. That's why I come here where people know what I'm talking about.
It will get easier each time you get through a craving. Hang in there.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: pass the bon bons
Posts: 2,363
i don't have the answer to your question of how long you will want to drink...but i do have my best wishes that you get through this...and i would like to invite you to join us in newcomers to recovery and the "any mom's out there keeping sane while not using"...thread..everyone here at sr is wonderful...and i have found friends and support on the whole forum...but for me my mom friends are priceless...and if not for them i would not be sober today...many of my friends there have had a drinking problem and we all have experience detoxing while still being a mother and wife...you would benefit greatly if you join us...and we will welcome you with open arms...we love new friends...
i sincerely hope you get through all of this ok...and if you need anything pm me and i will be there...you can do this, have no doubt...i see it everyday and i have been through it all...and i'm still sober almost six weeks later...good luck...and i hope to hear from you soon...
~hugs~
ayla
i sincerely hope you get through all of this ok...and if you need anything pm me and i will be there...you can do this, have no doubt...i see it everyday and i have been through it all...and i'm still sober almost six weeks later...good luck...and i hope to hear from you soon...
~hugs~
ayla
Raised from the Dead
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Chicago
Posts: 376
a suggestion that worked miracles for me was getting down on my knees and asking God for help --even if you dont believe in God. All you need to begin your journey in recovery is a WILLINGNESS to be open-minded to the suggestion that a power greater than Man put the stars in the sky.
ive told my story on here but believe me if i can stay sober for 9+ months (just got my 9-month coin last week) than ANYBODY can stay sober. i had a 5 year heroin addiction and was an alcholic from age 15-25 and on Jan 28th, 2006 was financially, spiritually, and physically crushed. i went from being a degerate self-centered homeless thief to working for Bank of America next to the Sears Tower. my life is great now but i remember my bottom every day.
AA is a 12-step program and only if you work the steps will you change as a person. people say AA brainwashed me but my brain was in a need of a good washing.
ive told my story on here but believe me if i can stay sober for 9+ months (just got my 9-month coin last week) than ANYBODY can stay sober. i had a 5 year heroin addiction and was an alcholic from age 15-25 and on Jan 28th, 2006 was financially, spiritually, and physically crushed. i went from being a degerate self-centered homeless thief to working for Bank of America next to the Sears Tower. my life is great now but i remember my bottom every day.
AA is a 12-step program and only if you work the steps will you change as a person. people say AA brainwashed me but my brain was in a need of a good washing.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Chicago suburbs
Posts: 18
Sounds like you've done an amazing turn around Chicago. WTG!
I'm thinking about AA - I may or I may not.. time will tell I guess. I couldn't imagine walking into one near where I live and seeing people I know.. I have teen children and a bit of status in my area in a way.. Word gets around - rumors and what not.. I think I'd have to drive QUITE a bit away to be able to attend one. It would be different if I lived in the city. That aside.. I'm not much for group settings like that - I don't know.. we'll see like I said. I'm glad it worked for you - I'm willing to do anything to get past this, but I'd like to first try on my own and see if I can at least get started. Maybe later down the line I will want to go for support - although with this great forum, I may have what I need right here.. it's nice to be able to chat with ya'll.
Good news is my husband only came home with a 6pk. At least I don't have the temptation here tomorrow (i work from home).
My lower back is so sore right now.. feels like a kidney ache or something.. both sides so it can't be my liver. I'm sure I'm just being a head case and it's from raking leaves yesterday or something.
I'm thinking about AA - I may or I may not.. time will tell I guess. I couldn't imagine walking into one near where I live and seeing people I know.. I have teen children and a bit of status in my area in a way.. Word gets around - rumors and what not.. I think I'd have to drive QUITE a bit away to be able to attend one. It would be different if I lived in the city. That aside.. I'm not much for group settings like that - I don't know.. we'll see like I said. I'm glad it worked for you - I'm willing to do anything to get past this, but I'd like to first try on my own and see if I can at least get started. Maybe later down the line I will want to go for support - although with this great forum, I may have what I need right here.. it's nice to be able to chat with ya'll.
Good news is my husband only came home with a 6pk. At least I don't have the temptation here tomorrow (i work from home).
My lower back is so sore right now.. feels like a kidney ache or something.. both sides so it can't be my liver. I'm sure I'm just being a head case and it's from raking leaves yesterday or something.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: pass the bon bons
Posts: 2,363
this forum is like a journal, isn't it?...a journal with positive feedback...even better...you made it through day one! how does that feel? now it's one day, one minute at a time...also there is private counselling available for addiction...if you need help and do not want meetings, that is an option...
Make The Most of 2nd Chances
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Cleveland, TN
Posts: 60
Hey, Jooser here. I went through a pretty rough detox about 3 weeks ago. I too was a heavy beer drinker. I was putting away at least a 12er per day, but usually more like 18 to 24. My withdraw symptoms were: stomach all jacked up, chest pains (from anxiety), panic, high blood pressure (headaches), tremors, paranoia, and dreams - too many and too vivid to describe. I talked to my therapist about the dreams and he told me something interesting. When you go to bed drunk, you never go into REM sleep. This is the most crucial time for your body to achieve true rest. REM sleep is also when you dream. After going so long without REM or dreams, the body makes up for wasted time when you sober up. All I wanted to do is sleep for about 3 days after detox. That's when I really started to feel better. My body was getting the rest it so desperately needed for the first time in a long, long time. Welcome to the board and let me just say that I slipped last week and drank after nearly two weeks on the water wagon. I was cocky and thought I could get through this alone. I was wrong. I am back here now with a quiet, more determined resolve. It's ok to be afraid. It's normal. These emotions are going to feel huge at first. Hang in there, and check back often. Good luck and God bless!
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