mygirls_mylife

It has been a while since I have been here last. I have missed "seeing" every body; I hope all are well.

I have been having a very stressful time in my life and recovery. I have not drank, however. It has been over 4 months now. I can only kmow that this is through the grace of God. If left to my own, I probably would have succumbed already.

My Ah and I are probably splitting up; he doenst know this yet. I am going to get all my ducks in a row as far as help from the state and my schooling first. Tax money will help me get in a new place closer to all my family.

I feel so alone still. In the city where I am I really dont know anyone and it has been so lonely these past few months.

I have had my paperwork in to get my license back for almost 4 weeks now. Tallahassee doesnt care about me and my lack of mobility, thats for sure. It should be anytime now, hopfeully.

I have let my depression and anger get in the way of my religion, spirituality and recovery. I am hoping to stop taking steps backwards and continue on forward.

My computer took a big ole crapola as viruses attacked it and shut it down. So, until I fix it or get a new one and service, I will only be on periodically when at my mother's.

If Sean posts again, maybe someone could let him know I got his address and my procrastinator self will be in touch with him soon.

I miss everyone so much. I really could use the support that so many in here are capable of giving. God bess you all and I hope to talk to you all again soon.

Star

Krys_wyo

Star,

All youve taken since you quit is steps forward, it is the stupid boulders and cracks in the path not steps back, everything your doing is is progress.
Were only 4 days apart in our sobriety, mines june 16th, so i know where you are and it isnt easy, it is getting easier but wow those first few months were a b!tch.
For me i am starting to see clearly now, drinking doesnt cross my mind everyday like it did, It isnt my immediate awnser for problems anymore, and sometimes I think WOW i havent thought about drinking in a few days and to me thats awesome.
I guess i need to be done rambling...lol
Sounds like everything will soon fall right into place.
Prayers and hugs,
Krys

ayla zaire

hi star...we've missed you...i'm so sorry your life is hard right now...but it seems like you are doing the right things...and taking care of yourself...it is hard when you are depressed not to feel lost...and to lose touch with what is important...i will pray that you find strength and peace...and i hope you can keep in touch because you are missed...

mygirls_mylife

Thanks you guys.
Krys you are right, days go by without the thought of alcohol and that is, in itself, amazing. I guess you are right as long as I am not drinking I am not going backwards, but it always seems like I could be doing more to go forward.
I feel better daily, but it is hard when my AH berates me and makes me feel worthless. Anything I do is wrong as far as he is concerned. Thats why I have to leave. I dont want my girls t grow up thinking that our relationship is the type that everyone should have.
It will be better, I trust in God.

Arura

Just HAD to pop in n say Hello Sweetie,..... .....(((Star)))..xXx...!!!

Your NEVER Alone,...something is always there holding on tight to you no matter what you belive,...!!! inside,... it carnt take that away from you,...!

Much Love ......xXx....

Luckyv2

Good to see you back that is for sure and remember we are never given any more than what we can handle. I know that sounds like a bunch of crap but it is so true, just hard to see it sometimes.

Love Vic

liiise

glad you are back, god bless you and your girls!!