Eyes Wide shut no more
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: US
Posts: 81
Eyes Wide shut no more
My son is 17. He has started drinking, smoked pot a few times and smoke cig. I see my son headed down the same road I went down at his age. I actually started very early but I am scared for him. In the last 3 weeks he has been involved with the police twice now.
First time I came home at 11pm to find my sons friend had overdosed on alcohol, that's what the hospital said. We took him in and they kept him overnight. His body temp was so low they had to use those machines that warm you fast, put IV's in and a catheter and he never twitched a muscle. My son was given a citation for providing a place for a minor to consume alcohol. That was bad enough but I felt good about the fact my son hadn't been drinking although allowed it to be brought into our home and his friend drink there. Then tonight....
My son went out. About 11:30pm I got this strange feeling like something wasn't right. I called his cell and no answer. I called 2 more times before he picked up. I talked to him a min. and asked if he had been drinking cause it kind of sounded like it but not really. He said no and that was about it. About 5 min. after hanging up I couldn't shake the feeling. I called him again and this time carried on a conversation so he would really have to talk. He was so drunk he could barely put his sentences together. He had the car that night too. I asked where the car was and thank god he left it at one friends and walked to another friends to drink! I then told him I was coming to get him and for him to wait out front for me and i'd be there in 5 min.
I took my other son with me to drive the car home from the other friends. I told that son I should call the police and let all those kids get MIP's and whatever else they would get. He said do it but I didn't.
We turned the corner to pick up my son and the police were just pulling up. Evidently my son was so drunk he layed in the grass waiting for me and when he heard a car he figured it was me so put his leg straight up into the air! Well it wasn't me but was the police headed to another call. The police told me they thought he was having a seizure!
Needless to say he got a MIP tonight and so did the rest of the kids. Now we have to go to court on 2 citations instead of the one.
I sit next to him as he is puking his guts out and asking me questions like "are we stilll in the car?" we had been home like 20 min. by then. He also said some weird thing about the metal hurting his stomach. Just nonsense drunk talk but broke my heart. I see him going the way I did and I can't stand to see it. I know teens drink but I see myself in this son and I don't like that. I have a very addictive personality and I am seeing it in him.
I have asked him and told him he was going to counseling but he wouldn't go. I will ask the courts to order him into counseling of some type now.
I love my son so very much and I see him headed down and I want to stop it.
I guess I just needed to stop and write this right now. I stayed in his room iwth him and kept emptying and rinsing the bowl out. I keep going back now to check on him. I can't sleep cause I am so afraid he won't wake up or something. I know that is an irrational fear but it's there.
First time I came home at 11pm to find my sons friend had overdosed on alcohol, that's what the hospital said. We took him in and they kept him overnight. His body temp was so low they had to use those machines that warm you fast, put IV's in and a catheter and he never twitched a muscle. My son was given a citation for providing a place for a minor to consume alcohol. That was bad enough but I felt good about the fact my son hadn't been drinking although allowed it to be brought into our home and his friend drink there. Then tonight....
My son went out. About 11:30pm I got this strange feeling like something wasn't right. I called his cell and no answer. I called 2 more times before he picked up. I talked to him a min. and asked if he had been drinking cause it kind of sounded like it but not really. He said no and that was about it. About 5 min. after hanging up I couldn't shake the feeling. I called him again and this time carried on a conversation so he would really have to talk. He was so drunk he could barely put his sentences together. He had the car that night too. I asked where the car was and thank god he left it at one friends and walked to another friends to drink! I then told him I was coming to get him and for him to wait out front for me and i'd be there in 5 min.
I took my other son with me to drive the car home from the other friends. I told that son I should call the police and let all those kids get MIP's and whatever else they would get. He said do it but I didn't.
We turned the corner to pick up my son and the police were just pulling up. Evidently my son was so drunk he layed in the grass waiting for me and when he heard a car he figured it was me so put his leg straight up into the air! Well it wasn't me but was the police headed to another call. The police told me they thought he was having a seizure!
Needless to say he got a MIP tonight and so did the rest of the kids. Now we have to go to court on 2 citations instead of the one.
I sit next to him as he is puking his guts out and asking me questions like "are we stilll in the car?" we had been home like 20 min. by then. He also said some weird thing about the metal hurting his stomach. Just nonsense drunk talk but broke my heart. I see him going the way I did and I can't stand to see it. I know teens drink but I see myself in this son and I don't like that. I have a very addictive personality and I am seeing it in him.
I have asked him and told him he was going to counseling but he wouldn't go. I will ask the courts to order him into counseling of some type now.
I love my son so very much and I see him headed down and I want to stop it.
I guess I just needed to stop and write this right now. I stayed in his room iwth him and kept emptying and rinsing the bowl out. I keep going back now to check on him. I can't sleep cause I am so afraid he won't wake up or something. I know that is an irrational fear but it's there.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
It is a sad situation for sure...Hugs
It is a great idea to ask the courts for help with him.
You are upset but thinking and that is a positive.
He didn't drive...another positive.
The 3rd positive is you are now facing his problem
head on.
Prayers as you both go thru this.
It is a great idea to ask the courts for help with him.
You are upset but thinking and that is a positive.
He didn't drive...another positive.
The 3rd positive is you are now facing his problem
head on.
Prayers as you both go thru this.
Old & Sober Member of AA
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Nursing Home in Brick, New Jersey
Posts: 5,174
As a parent, myself, of three adult addicts/alcoholics, I feel your pain. Mine all started very young, too...but, I was too engrossed in my own alcoholism to pay much attention. Fortunately for your sons, you sound to be in recovery...at least you're thinking things through and making sober decisions.
I do believe there is some truth to the genetic theory...so, with two alcoholic parents, one or more of my kids were destined to be afflicted with the disease. Unfortunately, they went even further, and became addicted to a variety of hard drugs, in addition to the booze.
As I mentioned, they are all adults now...one with 10 years of recovery, one not drugging (just drinking), one promising once again to try to detox this week-end. I hope and pray that you will be more successful in setting a positive example and guiding your children past the pitfalls of addiction/alcoholism.
I do believe there is some truth to the genetic theory...so, with two alcoholic parents, one or more of my kids were destined to be afflicted with the disease. Unfortunately, they went even further, and became addicted to a variety of hard drugs, in addition to the booze.
As I mentioned, they are all adults now...one with 10 years of recovery, one not drugging (just drinking), one promising once again to try to detox this week-end. I hope and pray that you will be more successful in setting a positive example and guiding your children past the pitfalls of addiction/alcoholism.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: in a better place
Posts: 1,406
Welcome to SR. It's a great place to find some answers and get support in your situation. I suggest you also take a look around the Friends and Family forum where you'll find other moms of addicts.
Reach Out and Touch Faith
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: On a Sailboat
Posts: 3,871
Still me, here is the link to family and friends. http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/family-friends/
I do hope you will drop by. It is good to hear that you have an eye on your son's problem
I do hope you will drop by. It is good to hear that you have an eye on your son's problem
Raised from the Dead
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Chicago
Posts: 376
wow thanks for telling us that. definitely puts things in perspective when parents talk about their children because im 26 and have put my parents through utter hell.
when i was in high school everybody drank and alot of those people went on to control their drinking and live highly productive lives. some people, like me, turned out to be alcoholics and were ultimately brought down by our alcoholism. its tough to tell which path he's headed. i do believe its normal for 17 year olds to experiment with drinking because everyone i knew experimented with drinking. i think its abnormal when the drinking becomes a way of life.
its good to be conscious of his behavior regardless and to indentify a problem early on. but just because he got drunk doesnt mean he's absolutely an alcohilic. keep us posted.
when i was in high school everybody drank and alot of those people went on to control their drinking and live highly productive lives. some people, like me, turned out to be alcoholics and were ultimately brought down by our alcoholism. its tough to tell which path he's headed. i do believe its normal for 17 year olds to experiment with drinking because everyone i knew experimented with drinking. i think its abnormal when the drinking becomes a way of life.
its good to be conscious of his behavior regardless and to indentify a problem early on. but just because he got drunk doesnt mean he's absolutely an alcohilic. keep us posted.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: US
Posts: 81
thank you everyone for your kind words. My son is feeling much better today. He says he is never going to drink again, ya right!
I can't say he is an alcoholic. I don't know. What I do know is I see signs in him and his behaviour that say he is like his mom. A very addictive personality. I have been addicted to just about everything out there. I HATE he now has a criminal record and the police said they would probably suspend his driving license til he's 18 or maybe even 21. In the course of about 3 weeks he got the furnishing a place for minors to consume alcohol and now the MIP.
To be perfectly honest I am looking forward to going to court. It scares me but I'm hoping they will do as I ask and order him into counseling. I would like to know NOW if i'm dealing with normal teenage rebellion and expermentation or if he is as I suspect he is and is headed down a path that can only lead to death in the long run.
I love my children more than anything. I would gladly take this from him. I hate I have contributed to it but know I have. I may not have used around them and only drank sometimes around them but my behaviours were what they saw.
I hope a counselor can help him and help me to help him. I'll let you all know how it goes. He is an awesome kid and I do NOT want this life for him.
I can't say he is an alcoholic. I don't know. What I do know is I see signs in him and his behaviour that say he is like his mom. A very addictive personality. I have been addicted to just about everything out there. I HATE he now has a criminal record and the police said they would probably suspend his driving license til he's 18 or maybe even 21. In the course of about 3 weeks he got the furnishing a place for minors to consume alcohol and now the MIP.
To be perfectly honest I am looking forward to going to court. It scares me but I'm hoping they will do as I ask and order him into counseling. I would like to know NOW if i'm dealing with normal teenage rebellion and expermentation or if he is as I suspect he is and is headed down a path that can only lead to death in the long run.
I love my children more than anything. I would gladly take this from him. I hate I have contributed to it but know I have. I may not have used around them and only drank sometimes around them but my behaviours were what they saw.
I hope a counselor can help him and help me to help him. I'll let you all know how it goes. He is an awesome kid and I do NOT want this life for him.
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