splithead

i just wanted to take a moment to let everyone here know that i didnt use again today. the last 5 days have been the roughest for me since i stopped taking those damn pills almost 3 weeks ago. i have been physically w/d/ing worse than i was when i 1st quit. its a miracle that i didnt use because i almost did. just so the pain and misery would go away even if just for a moment, but i figured that would just be the easy way out and i have vowed not to do that anymore. its been terrible but i made it. its almost like seeing the sunrise for the 1st time. that may sound a bit dramatic but its true. thanks to all my friends here like vic and cubbie and aasharon and many others for your continued support and concern. i could not and will not make it without each and everyone of you. im not feeling the effects of the withdrawls as badly right now. i may be naieve but i think the worst has past and now i have alot of work to do as far as my program of recovery is concerned, but ive learned that no matter what i dont have to use and for that im truely thankful. i hope this post makes since because im still in a fog but im ALOT better than i have been. i havent slept in 5 days but i hope to tonight. god bless everyone here and thank you all.

Luckyv2

Good for you my friend that is awesome! Just hang in there it does get a lot different in time

aasharon90

Just for today....a wish for u to have a peaceful sleep tonight...and another day of recovery. We do have many wonderful, caring, supportive members here in SR. They all bring something to the table for us to draw on from sharing their own individual experiences, strengths and hopes. I too thank them for being here for me.

Anna

Hey Splithead, that is really great news.

The way to get stronger is to beat those nasty cravings. Good for you.

splithead

they were more than just nasty cravings, it was severe pain and suffering unlike anything ive ever known. id rather have to chew my own arm off than ever go through that again. i was physically ill. cravings would have been a welcome sight, it was hell. im still craving just not suffering for now anyways!

CarolD

I am so very glad you are moving forward!

c'est la vie

One of the worst part of this "disease" is that we forget the pain and misery and go back and do it all over again. You might want to write down in a journal some of your experience so that you can look back if you're ever tempted in the future. It's great news that you made it past that physically ill part. There is a sticky about PAWS which is what may hit you next. Keep posting and we'll be here for you.

splithead

thanks, i'll use that advice. and i'll be here for you guys as well. im so greatful for all of you. ive not taken a pill or drank for 3 weeks sunday and im starting to feel great again. its a miracle. GO CARDINALS!!!!!:uzi2:

splithead

oh, by the way, last night was the best nights sleep ive had in a long time. i took a vacation day from the office today. slept about 14 hours, went to 2 meetings and treated myself and my wife to a romantic late dinner today. it was so wonderful to spend that time with her. i explained to her what ive done, and what ive been going through and what im doing now to keep clean. she was so supportive and she told told me that she had an idea that i was in trouble with something but wasnt sure what it was, she knows now and is behind me all the way. what a load off my mind. i feel so relieved now that she knows. today was a great day!!!! i didnt use again!!! thanks to all here for all your help and support. without that it will be difficult to stay sober.

Luckyv2

((((Splithead))))

That made me FEEL! I know that when I was having one of the hardest times in my life, my wife of 14 or so years left me. That made it so hard on me, but yet I continued to keep trying to get this deal. Not sure if I get it or not I think that I do now! I am so happy for you my friend to have someone that loves you and supports you like that must be a great feeling! We are always here for you also just like you are here for us!~

Love Vic

liiise

good job keep up the good work

splithead

what a great day!!!! the ST. LOUIS CARDINALS the greatest team in my opinion to ever play ball are officially the 2006 baseball WORLD CHAMPIONS!!!! GO CARDS!!!!!!!

barb dwyer

Hey split -

I had a lot of pain, too...physical type.
Neck, back, kidneys ... felt like I had glass sand in all my joints.
AND booze w/d's ... I have no idea how I managed to keep this job. Imagine all that and training for a new job....
what a mess, huh?
I don't want to go back either.
I'm so happy for you!
Good work!

splithead

vic, the strength youve shown through all that youve been through is truely an inspiration to me. thanks again for chairing the meeting last night. the topic was great. it was just what i needed to hear.

Stormtooth

Withdrwals are nasty. I certainly could not have kept a job. I had gone through withdrawals before, but the last two times I binge drank were much worse than anything up until that point.

It was like something out of a don't let this happen to you movie, it was everything your parents had always warned you about but didn't really know themselves, and the dire warnings of medical glossy papered pamphlets, i used to laugh at when I was a teen-ager.

No one would voluntarily drink anything or pay to take a pill to go through what i went through. In the end the doctor's had already told me those chest pains were not heart burn as i had assumed, but my heart screaming from being over loaded, my eyes yellow, and my urine like syrup.

Then there were terrifying hallucinations, and then it got worse.

Even then I still had one more binge before that was enough of a deterent.

Forgetting the pain of something like that. well it hasn't happened so far. I hope it stays that way.

Hang in there and be glad when it has passed.

splithead

thank you stormtooth, i hope and pray that i never use again. even more i hope that i never forget the horror of what i went through. as bad as it was however, i pray that the experience will serve me well, as yours apparently has for you. im very new at recovery and as im am not ever guaranteed that i will never use again, i can be sure that i wont use today, and as tomorrow arrives i will do my part to assure that im guaranteed another shot at sobriety. this is what i've come to know. that i am indeed powerless and without the help of something or someone greater than myself i am surely doomed, but even with that i know that no matter what happens i never have to take another pill, and for this i am truly thankful.

Luckyv2

Hope things are going well for you today my friend. I know it isn't easy in early recovery, heck I still am in early recovery! However I can look back today after 5 months of being clean, and can see the difference between then and now. I hope that you go to NA Meetings my friend, you will find the same love and acceptance there as you do here. I know that they have helped me out a lot and have given me a new way to look at things. Reading and studying my NA Basic Text on a daily basis has also helped. Glad that you are here.

Love Vic

Rusty Zipper

hang in split.... you, we can do it...

agw & gol............................ zip

indigo

You can do it, you already are.
indigo