SURFRIDER

New to the forum, and looking for a sanity check.

I do believe my husband is an alcoholic, but he thinks his drinking is normal.

Almost every night he consumes between 8 and 12 beers, and unfortunately he gets rather mean after about beer 9.

His parents were both alcoholics, now sober, but he thinks since he goes to work, and does not drink until the evening, does not drink during the day, he does not have a problem.

Last night was the capper, he told me he hated me since before I was born, probably after about beer 12. I would not be at the house if I had financial means to leave.

Does he have a problem, or am I the problem thinking he has one ??

Thanks for reading this

laurie6781

First, let me say WELCOME to SR!!!!! You have found a great web site for venting and getting lots and lots of Experience, Strength and Hope.

Please check out the Friends and Family Forum as there you will find others who have been where you are now, or .................... are where you are now.

You are not the problem. Whether he is alcoholic or not, his drinking and the changes in him it causes are a problem to you. In the friends and family forum you will find others who have found ways to set boundaries, etc and work on themselves, not the problem drinkier or alcoholic.

Please remember the 3 C's:

You didn't CAUSE it,
You can't CONTROL it, and
You can't CURE it.

Please keep coming back and let us know how you are doing, we do care!!

Again...................WELCOME!!!!!

Love and hugs,

CarolD

Here is the link...just click

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ly-alcoholics/



That is one of the most stupid remark from a drunk
that I have ever heard!! I am sory you were hurt.


Welcome to SR!

Lollipop

Surf!!!

Welcome to SR!!!! Please check out the friends and family threads, they are awesome, although you can get plenty of feed-back all over here, the support is amazing!!!!!

I think my hubby's favorite saying is "alcohol is not a problem until it CREATS a problem"
Just because he is not drinking during the day, able to "function" etc. does not mean he does not have a problem, or at least creating some!!!! Please hang in there, stay strong and keep us posted!!! Again, Welcome!!!!
Liss

earlybird

Im still trying to process the "...before you were born" statement. Do YOU drink 8 to 12 beers a night? Do your friends? Other people in your family? No. Nobody without a problem drinks alcohol EVERY night...in any amount. Ya know.....none of us alcoholics drank during the day,.......UNTIL we did. None of us lost our jobs to due drinking,....until we did. I never had attendance problems at work,....until I did........and I bet your husband never called you names or got mean while he was drinking................until he did.

CarolD

I do hope you are feeling better today
SURFRIDER

Let us know how you are please..

Wolfchild

Anyone who says they love someone enough to make a commitment to them and then proceeds to say & act in direct opposition to that definatly has a problem.
"Oh, but honey, it was the alcohol talking and making me act that way."
********, alcohol merely makes the mouth go numb so the heart can't feel what it's saying.