So I ended up in the ER this evening...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Fl.
Posts: 7
So I ended up in the ER this evening...
Hi everyone
For two days I was sober. Not a drop. During most of this time the fuzzy, foggy, hazy, dazed feeling in my head lingered until I though I would be driven insane by it. No cravings. No sweats. No trembling. Just walking around in a stupor as if my brain had been injected with a syringe full of Novocaine. Numb and on auto-pilot.
I had experienced this feeling many times before while trying to get sober and I knew that there was only one thing that could make it go away. Booze. Then more booze. I fought back the temptation at first and then, as I had done many times before, I ran to the refrigerator and grabbed myself a cold one. Ahhh...refreshing. Close to the bottom of the first bottle I could feel the dull, anesthetized, zombie-like feeling begin to abate and the feeling of normalacy return. I was once again my old, fun-loving and care-free self.
As I surfed the internet, hammered out emails, watched TV and began to feel like "me" again (after about my fourth beer), I suddenly began wretching and gagging and the next thing I know I find myself stooped over a pot vomiting uncontrollably with my friend standing over me offering to take me to the ER. I'm only 43...I should be able to "handle" a few beers, right?. I guess not. This is the second time in a row now that I have vomited after only a few beers and I used to be able to chug back a 12-pack like I was drinking water.
The ER itself was a nightmare. Take a number, be seated. An hour later your in triage where you have 30 seconds to explain a lifetime of pain and grief and then you are rushed out to the waiting room again where you languish for 6-8 hours. I left and went home. That's my story. Hi, my name is Tim, I'm not new here and I'm not new to alcoholism.
What keeps bringing me back to the bottle is not the cravings, insomnia, night sweats or the shakes (most of which I don't experience anyway) but the fuzzy, foggy, stuporish, dazed, brain-dead, zombie-ish, ******** feeling in my head that simply will NOT go away until I have had a few beers. I feel like crap when I'm sober. I feel like crap when I drink. I feel like crap when I'm hungover. How do I win this game?.
I suffer from social anxiety disorder and a whole bunch of other issues so AA is not for me and Campral/Naltrexone both have some unpleasant side effects. I'm boxed in like a caged animal with no way to escape and noone seems to understand. I recently posted my problems on another forum and I got some guy putting me under the bright lights and telling me that I was just trying to "get attention". Well, YES I AM. I need help. Desperately.
Thank you for allowing me to share.
- BBG
For two days I was sober. Not a drop. During most of this time the fuzzy, foggy, hazy, dazed feeling in my head lingered until I though I would be driven insane by it. No cravings. No sweats. No trembling. Just walking around in a stupor as if my brain had been injected with a syringe full of Novocaine. Numb and on auto-pilot.
I had experienced this feeling many times before while trying to get sober and I knew that there was only one thing that could make it go away. Booze. Then more booze. I fought back the temptation at first and then, as I had done many times before, I ran to the refrigerator and grabbed myself a cold one. Ahhh...refreshing. Close to the bottom of the first bottle I could feel the dull, anesthetized, zombie-like feeling begin to abate and the feeling of normalacy return. I was once again my old, fun-loving and care-free self.
As I surfed the internet, hammered out emails, watched TV and began to feel like "me" again (after about my fourth beer), I suddenly began wretching and gagging and the next thing I know I find myself stooped over a pot vomiting uncontrollably with my friend standing over me offering to take me to the ER. I'm only 43...I should be able to "handle" a few beers, right?. I guess not. This is the second time in a row now that I have vomited after only a few beers and I used to be able to chug back a 12-pack like I was drinking water.
The ER itself was a nightmare. Take a number, be seated. An hour later your in triage where you have 30 seconds to explain a lifetime of pain and grief and then you are rushed out to the waiting room again where you languish for 6-8 hours. I left and went home. That's my story. Hi, my name is Tim, I'm not new here and I'm not new to alcoholism.
What keeps bringing me back to the bottle is not the cravings, insomnia, night sweats or the shakes (most of which I don't experience anyway) but the fuzzy, foggy, stuporish, dazed, brain-dead, zombie-ish, ******** feeling in my head that simply will NOT go away until I have had a few beers. I feel like crap when I'm sober. I feel like crap when I drink. I feel like crap when I'm hungover. How do I win this game?.
I suffer from social anxiety disorder and a whole bunch of other issues so AA is not for me and Campral/Naltrexone both have some unpleasant side effects. I'm boxed in like a caged animal with no way to escape and noone seems to understand. I recently posted my problems on another forum and I got some guy putting me under the bright lights and telling me that I was just trying to "get attention". Well, YES I AM. I need help. Desperately.
Thank you for allowing me to share.
- BBG
Last edited by boozebgone; 10-06-2006 at 06:24 PM.
We all need each other.
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: The road of happy destiny.
Posts: 2,294
Hey there, BBG--I know I am a little bit late, but I wanted to welcome you to SR. I'm glad you found us.....
I'm sorry if you said this in an earlier post, but I was wondering how many day in a row you have stayed sober at one time. It often takes more than two or three days for all of the alcohol to get out of your system and you won't feel any major withdrawal symptoms until then. Just something to think about.
If you really want to quit, and you aren't having any success on your own, there are lots of ways to get help. I went to treatment and followed up with AA and so far (two and a half years later) it has been working for me.
I hope you will stick around and keep posting. We know what you are going through.
BTW--that fuzzy-headed feeling WILL go away once you get and stay sober!
I'm sorry if you said this in an earlier post, but I was wondering how many day in a row you have stayed sober at one time. It often takes more than two or three days for all of the alcohol to get out of your system and you won't feel any major withdrawal symptoms until then. Just something to think about.
If you really want to quit, and you aren't having any success on your own, there are lots of ways to get help. I went to treatment and followed up with AA and so far (two and a half years later) it has been working for me.
I hope you will stick around and keep posting. We know what you are going through.
BTW--that fuzzy-headed feeling WILL go away once you get and stay sober!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Fl.
Posts: 7
Thank you so much for the reply. That fuzzy-headed feeling is the ONLY thing that makes me desperately want to take a drink. Even the cravings are a piece of cake compared to that zoned out, spaced out, "veggie brain" feeling I get.
The longest I went without drinking is 10 days. I can't remember if I had this terrible dead-head feeling at any point during those ten days. I drank for 2 years and then quit for a year and a half and now this "time around" I've been drinking for a little less than a year (I think).
So that fuzzy feeling is normal during alcohol withdrawal?. How long does it usually last?. Could you describe it to me?. Does everyone get this?. I am very interested and curious about this aspect/symptom of recovery because if I don't drink, I walk around feeling like a drooling zombie with an IQ of 50 and that is what drives me back to the bottle time and time again (so I can feel "normal").
- BBG
The longest I went without drinking is 10 days. I can't remember if I had this terrible dead-head feeling at any point during those ten days. I drank for 2 years and then quit for a year and a half and now this "time around" I've been drinking for a little less than a year (I think).
So that fuzzy feeling is normal during alcohol withdrawal?. How long does it usually last?. Could you describe it to me?. Does everyone get this?. I am very interested and curious about this aspect/symptom of recovery because if I don't drink, I walk around feeling like a drooling zombie with an IQ of 50 and that is what drives me back to the bottle time and time again (so I can feel "normal").
- BBG
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,476
Hi Tim,
I know how it feels to be caught up in the vicious cycle of drinking and afraid to stop. I would really suggest that you talk to your dr because withdrawl from alcohol can be very dangerous and seizures are possible. The first few days of withdrawl are probably the hardest physically and once you get over that, things begin to get better. Yes, I felt fuzzy-headed the first few days,and just getting through the day was tough. I wasn't able to accomplish very much. But, it does get much better.
Have you been on meds for anxiety? I also have anxiety/depression and dealt with for years, unable to get properly diagnosed and treated. Once I got the right meds, I stopped drinking. The meds don't 'cure' the anxiety, but make it possible to deal with it.
I know how it feels to be caught up in the vicious cycle of drinking and afraid to stop. I would really suggest that you talk to your dr because withdrawl from alcohol can be very dangerous and seizures are possible. The first few days of withdrawl are probably the hardest physically and once you get over that, things begin to get better. Yes, I felt fuzzy-headed the first few days,and just getting through the day was tough. I wasn't able to accomplish very much. But, it does get much better.
Have you been on meds for anxiety? I also have anxiety/depression and dealt with for years, unable to get properly diagnosed and treated. Once I got the right meds, I stopped drinking. The meds don't 'cure' the anxiety, but make it possible to deal with it.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Hmmm...
The last time I vomited like you
I too ended up in the ER.
They saw me quickly tho as I
was spraying blood from a
esophageal hemorage.
So...
3 transfusions
3 days in ICU
3 more on a medical ward...
And still I drank again! WHY???
Then I read "Under The Influence"
and added God + AA
I have not had a drink since...
There is hope
Talk to your doctor
The last time I vomited like you
I too ended up in the ER.
They saw me quickly tho as I
was spraying blood from a
esophageal hemorage.
So...
3 transfusions
3 days in ICU
3 more on a medical ward...
And still I drank again! WHY???
Then I read "Under The Influence"
and added God + AA
I have not had a drink since...
There is hope
Talk to your doctor
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: FRIENDSWOOD, TEXAS
Posts: 500
i can relate to some of what you are saying, except the part about vomitting and having to go to the ER, has never happened to me, but I am on Campral - well I should probably talk to the doctor cause the 1st 34 days while on it I stayed sober, not drinking a drop of alcohol and I went through the fog brain zombie type stupor and towards the end of those days I was severely depressed, and so I was in a situation where I was around people drinking and said F**ck it , and drank about 5 beers and drank for a couple more days , then went without drinking for 5 or 6 days than had to have a drink and seems like I can go a few days without drinking if I force myself toobut I always end up going back to drinking because of the way I feel when I am not drinking, it is like I am not myself. I am 41, when you took Campral what kind of side effects did you have? I am wondering if some of my feelings were due to the medication and I also have panic attack and generalized anxiety disorder.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Highlands, TX
Posts: 1,192
Hi Tim and welcome. I could relate to your post and then Anna's. I spent the last year of my drinking on a merry-go-round from h*ll. I was experiencing daily hangovers which I started drinking earlier in the day to "cure". At the end, I was going through mild withdrawals on a daily basis until I could get some booze in me to stop it. I had progressed to maintenance drinking to hold off the shakes and would retch violently and awful stomach cramps and diarrhea. I ended up in the ER several times because I would get so sick but I never shared with them why I was so sick. I also suffer from anxiety and the withdrawals would bring on anxiety attacks, my startle reflex was exaggerated so if I barely brushed against something I would jump like crazy, driving became a nightmare because in my heightened anxiety, jumping all over the place I also felt like everyone on the road was trying to hit me. This was with maintenance drinking because I had to keep up appearances (yeah, right) in front of family, friends and work. I had the shakes too. I was terrified of going through full withdrawals and did everything I could think of to taper off all of which failed. What finally did it for me was realizing that my kidneys were shutting down and my liver constantly hurt. That combined with a pretty effective intervention from my mom got me into an AA meeting on July 6, 2004. I stayed sober for 4 days and slipped which started me drinking for another 28 days but I kept going to meetings. In there I found the courage through friends I made to give sobriety a shot and became willing to do whatever it took. My sobriety date is August 8, 2004. I detoxed at home with my family present. I shook like a leaf, puked my guts up and what was rest came out the other way. I could not sleep and I couldn't stand the thought of being in my bedroom or alone because I drank in secret in my room so I stayed in the living room in a vibrating recliner to help me not think as much about the vibrating I was doing on the inside. My mind was foggy, I felt horrible and I KNEW that a drink would make it all go away but I also KNEW that a drink would put me right back at square one and I'd have to start all over again. So.............. I sucked it up, went to meetings, used the phone a lot, watched tv, read books and told myself over and over and over again that if I could just get through this I didn't EVER have to go through it again unless I chose to. That got me through. It is the memory of how awful it was that helps me today along with the knowledge of the progression of this disease that I would quickly end up back where I came from and then get worse. I didn't have much worse left other than death and today I choose to live.
I say all of this to say that there is hope. It can be done and the results are so worth it. I was foggy for a long while (a couple of weeks I think) but each day I felt a little better. The shakes eventually stopped and that was such a relief and then my emotions woke up! At about 30 days sober I felt really good physically but I was an emotional wreck. That got better and today I have no lasting effects from the drinking thank God, I'm on meds for anxiety, I am a happy, funny productive member of society who found my way out of h*ll with a lot of help from family and AA. I know you say it is not for you but I didn't think it was for me either. In fact, before getting sober I went to a few meetings just to get family off my back and immediately thought of reasons and excuses of why I didn't belong. I was younger than most of them, I only drank for 3 1/2 years, I was the only woman there, and I still thought I could control it but I just hadn't stumbled upon the right way to do it yet. No, AA was definitely NOT for me. In 2004 I went in with a different attitude. Alcohol had kicked my *ss, I was literally dying, and I knew that I couldn't control it much as I wanted to. I became willing to sit in a room with people I would never mix with in the "real" world and heard my story from these people's lips. I felt the understanding, the acceptance and eventually the friendship and love of these people. Today they are like my second family.
I even met someone in the program who I've been friends with for over a year and a half. We are now discussing marriage and the first thing I said was I want my AA family there LOL! I have a job I could never have handled while still drinking, I have the respect of family and friends, I sponsor someone today and I have more fun now sober than I ever did drinking and I remember every bit of it the next day! I have a life today not a mere existence.
I'm glad you are here and regardless of whatever road you take to sobriety I sincerely hope you stick around here and gain experience, strength and hope from us. We understand. We've been where you are. We've found a way out and we want to help you find a way out too.
Hugs,
Kellye
I say all of this to say that there is hope. It can be done and the results are so worth it. I was foggy for a long while (a couple of weeks I think) but each day I felt a little better. The shakes eventually stopped and that was such a relief and then my emotions woke up! At about 30 days sober I felt really good physically but I was an emotional wreck. That got better and today I have no lasting effects from the drinking thank God, I'm on meds for anxiety, I am a happy, funny productive member of society who found my way out of h*ll with a lot of help from family and AA. I know you say it is not for you but I didn't think it was for me either. In fact, before getting sober I went to a few meetings just to get family off my back and immediately thought of reasons and excuses of why I didn't belong. I was younger than most of them, I only drank for 3 1/2 years, I was the only woman there, and I still thought I could control it but I just hadn't stumbled upon the right way to do it yet. No, AA was definitely NOT for me. In 2004 I went in with a different attitude. Alcohol had kicked my *ss, I was literally dying, and I knew that I couldn't control it much as I wanted to. I became willing to sit in a room with people I would never mix with in the "real" world and heard my story from these people's lips. I felt the understanding, the acceptance and eventually the friendship and love of these people. Today they are like my second family.
I even met someone in the program who I've been friends with for over a year and a half. We are now discussing marriage and the first thing I said was I want my AA family there LOL! I have a job I could never have handled while still drinking, I have the respect of family and friends, I sponsor someone today and I have more fun now sober than I ever did drinking and I remember every bit of it the next day! I have a life today not a mere existence.
I'm glad you are here and regardless of whatever road you take to sobriety I sincerely hope you stick around here and gain experience, strength and hope from us. We understand. We've been where you are. We've found a way out and we want to help you find a way out too.
Hugs,
Kellye
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Nowhere
Posts: 889
Hey welcome 
I guess it's just a matter of riding those withdrawal feelings out (also the mental fog) it'll just take time before those symptoms go away but then you'll feel lotsa better, would my best bet be.
Marte
I guess it's just a matter of riding those withdrawal feelings out (also the mental fog) it'll just take time before those symptoms go away but then you'll feel lotsa better, would my best bet be.Marte
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: in the present moment
Posts: 2,060
Hi Tim,
Glad you came back and are still trying to get better. For me, the mind fog was related to extremely low blood glucose(sugar) levels, which are a part of withdrawaal from alcohol. Alcohol is metabolized as a sugar in the bloodstream , and your brain gets used to having certain levels, regular frequency of doses etc.
When a person stops getting those doses of glucose, there is a crash in the nervous system. I am not your doctor, but I am a healthcare practitioner and my suggestion is to see a doctor that you trust. Explain your symptoms. Follw the instructions given.
As for the social anxiety...I can relate to that. Deciding today that AA is or is not an option based on how you feel in this moment is not nescessarily what meay end up being true later on. Get stabllized first, stay here,read, share, get that book, "Under The Influence" that CarolD suggests and seek more answers.
Getting the appropriate medical and other help will keep you on track.
Personally, my brain fog took a looong time to go away, but I kept sober because sober alcoholics told me that in time it would get better, as long as I didnt drink.
It will get better, as long as you do not drink today.
Love and Best Wishes>>>>
Glad you came back and are still trying to get better. For me, the mind fog was related to extremely low blood glucose(sugar) levels, which are a part of withdrawaal from alcohol. Alcohol is metabolized as a sugar in the bloodstream , and your brain gets used to having certain levels, regular frequency of doses etc.
When a person stops getting those doses of glucose, there is a crash in the nervous system. I am not your doctor, but I am a healthcare practitioner and my suggestion is to see a doctor that you trust. Explain your symptoms. Follw the instructions given.
As for the social anxiety...I can relate to that. Deciding today that AA is or is not an option based on how you feel in this moment is not nescessarily what meay end up being true later on. Get stabllized first, stay here,read, share, get that book, "Under The Influence" that CarolD suggests and seek more answers.
Getting the appropriate medical and other help will keep you on track.
Personally, my brain fog took a looong time to go away, but I kept sober because sober alcoholics told me that in time it would get better, as long as I didnt drink.
It will get better, as long as you do not drink today.
Love and Best Wishes>>>>
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Livonia, MI
Posts: 675
Originally Posted by boozebgone
Thank you so much for the reply. That fuzzy-headed feeling is the ONLY thing that makes me desperately want to take a drink. Even the cravings are a piece of cake compared to that zoned out, spaced out, "veggie brain" feeling I get.
The longest I went without drinking is 10 days. I can't remember if I had this terrible dead-head feeling at any point during those ten days. I drank for 2 years and then quit for a year and a half and now this "time around" I've been drinking for a little less than a year (I think).
So that fuzzy feeling is normal during alcohol withdrawal?. How long does it usually last?. Could you describe it to me?. Does everyone get this?. I am very interested and curious about this aspect/symptom of recovery because if I don't drink, I walk around feeling like a drooling zombie with an IQ of 50 and that is what drives me back to the bottle time and time again (so I can feel "normal").
- BBG
The longest I went without drinking is 10 days. I can't remember if I had this terrible dead-head feeling at any point during those ten days. I drank for 2 years and then quit for a year and a half and now this "time around" I've been drinking for a little less than a year (I think).
So that fuzzy feeling is normal during alcohol withdrawal?. How long does it usually last?. Could you describe it to me?. Does everyone get this?. I am very interested and curious about this aspect/symptom of recovery because if I don't drink, I walk around feeling like a drooling zombie with an IQ of 50 and that is what drives me back to the bottle time and time again (so I can feel "normal").
- BBG
Member
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Earth's Moon, Milky Way
Posts: 10
I think EarlyBird is right that it might be wise to see a doctor. Your liver may not be filtering as well as it used to. It will probably be fine given enough time without the booze to recover--but get it checked out. I'm pretty sure you can tell your doctor you want to talk in confidence (by law) in case that is what you are concerned with.
Hey EarlyBird. Good to hear from you again. BTW, did you REALLY drink 2 HALF GALLONS of liquor a day PLUS beer? You must really feel lucky to be alive (and to have been given a hearty liver).
Hey EarlyBird. Good to hear from you again. BTW, did you REALLY drink 2 HALF GALLONS of liquor a day PLUS beer? You must really feel lucky to be alive (and to have been given a hearty liver).
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Livonia, MI
Posts: 675
I dont joke about that part of my life. I used to drink two of those brown plastic half gallon jugs of cheap whiskey. "Earlytimes" or "8 O'Clock" were the alternating brands of mine. Definitely not top shelf. No shelf,....actually. Floor. Lift a floorboard up and reach for my brand. Gross. I dont play the "try and shock you with my story" game. My story is my story. Plain and simple. Its what happened to me (more like I did it to myself) and I dont embelish it at all. So,...yes,....I actually did drink those amounts. How'daya like me now? 
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: international date line
Posts: 3
I think a trip to the doctor would be a good idea. You said you were looking for "attention"--as you should be. Medical attention is probably what's in order though...Good luck...
Last edited by Lobotomy; 10-07-2006 at 11:35 AM.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Earth's Moon, Milky Way
Posts: 10
Originally Posted by earlybird
I dont play the "try and shock you with my story" game. My story is my story. Plain and simple. Its what happened to me (more like I did it to myself) and I dont embelish it at all. So,...yes,....I actually did drink those amounts. How'daya like me now?
I didn't mean to imply you were joking. I'm just amazed by what you've overcome. I understand now the passion you bring to this forum.
What's that saying..."It's not where you've been that's important, but rather what direction you're headed." The "direction" you've been able to go (and continue in) despite hitting bottom is truly inspirational.
I understand now your (sometimes overly) edgy posts--I think you simply don't want any of us to experience the agony (and near death) that you've been through.
As far as your question, I think I would like you quite a bit if I ever had the chance to really meet you. The important thing is that is that "YOU like you now." With all you've couragously perservered through, I'm sure you are quite proud of yourself--as you should be. Thanks for sharing your story.
Sorry Boozebgone. (I didn't mean to divert your post.)
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Tazewell Virginia
Posts: 16
read your post and it sounded like something straight out of my life. I have been in withdrawals so bad I couldn't even type an email. My brain was just short circuited...I have paced back and forth for HOURS on end...vacillating back and forth whether I should go down and buy some more beer (or vodka) to help me feel better. Time seems to just stand still, but every second your not drinking you are closer to feeling better.
Best thing is to get plenty of rest...avoid any kind of stressors if possible and just find a quiet place...watch TV or if you feel antsy do some light projects around the house. Drink some water and eat something if you can...if you smoke try and limit cigaretters as much as possible cause they just make it worse......take care of yourself and try not to panic or get upset..and do NOT feel guilty..it is a disease friend...you didnt ask for it...no ones wants to be an alcoholic...
Time is your enemy but also your friend right now...slowly..even as I type thiis...your getting better...if you start feeling really really bad you might want to seek some medical help...your suffering is only temporay though BBG...you CAN get through this....I have social anxiety too so I know what a bitch that is too...if it will make you feel any better...I feel stuck too....its raining outside and it is cold and windy and boring...
I think you will be just fine cause you can type...I have been much worse..I think..in that I have been in withdrawals so bad I could not even sign my own name at the movie rental place...
take care...we know how you are feeling and it SUCKS...but you WILL get better...I promise!
Best thing is to get plenty of rest...avoid any kind of stressors if possible and just find a quiet place...watch TV or if you feel antsy do some light projects around the house. Drink some water and eat something if you can...if you smoke try and limit cigaretters as much as possible cause they just make it worse......take care of yourself and try not to panic or get upset..and do NOT feel guilty..it is a disease friend...you didnt ask for it...no ones wants to be an alcoholic...
Time is your enemy but also your friend right now...slowly..even as I type thiis...your getting better...if you start feeling really really bad you might want to seek some medical help...your suffering is only temporay though BBG...you CAN get through this....I have social anxiety too so I know what a bitch that is too...if it will make you feel any better...I feel stuck too....its raining outside and it is cold and windy and boring...
I think you will be just fine cause you can type...I have been much worse..I think..in that I have been in withdrawals so bad I could not even sign my own name at the movie rental place...
take care...we know how you are feeling and it SUCKS...but you WILL get better...I promise!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
