Dreamz

I know, I know, I know I shouldn't be this sad but my sister just told me she wants to move in with her boyfriend after our lease runs out - which is fine - of course she does...But I have to move back with my parents because I don't really have anywhere else to go...which is 5 HOURS away, I'll never see her Why doesn't she want to stay with me. I know I can be a total handful at times - but she's my best friend. I feel so lonely again. This is how I felt when I first quit drugs - alone - no-one understands me and I don't have time for anyone. I LOVE living with her - I don't want things to go back the way they were - now I'm going to be all alone again.

laurience

Hi! Dreamz,
Sorry to hear about your sister moving out. Unfortunately, life throws changes at us and the ones close to us move on, move in with boyfriends or get married etc.. I know your super close to her and it will hurt but remember things always have a way of working out. I used to live with my sister too and it was hard when we seperated but were just as close now as we were then. I would say closer and we live 2 hours apart. When does your lease run out? Maybe you could find another roomate if you want to stay in that area.
I am sending a big hug your way.
Joanne

Dreamz

It runs out in December - xmas eve!!!

I could find another room - mate. I know I could move in with them. But I've lived with friends before and it has always turned out badly for me. I know I'm being selfish but I just want to live with her and only her - Her boyfriend stays around all the time anyway - he practically lives there now.

I just really like this new life I'm living. I don't want it to stop and I have a feeling everything is going to go back to the way it was and I was enjoying having new friends - I just hate being by myself!

Dreamz

Dreamz

Good day today - it is only morning but I feel good. Didn't go for a jog last night. Was having cravings - a bit this morning too. Cravings are so tiring, has anyone ever noticed that after a craving (well for me and for meth) I am just so exhausted afterwards, I need to rest my body and my brain.

I guess it doesn't help that I'm a bit sick today. I have really bad asthma and when I get throat infections it just makes my asthma extremely bad - so I'm going to can the jogging for a bit - see how I feel later on tongiht though I guess

Erin

Hey hey hey
Just wanted to say good on the jogging.

Also wanted to ask are you seeing a therapist or anyone? Might help you if you can get access and are willing.

The only definite in life is change. Once you accept change then it gets way easier to deal. Last fall I moved 400 km after getting rid of most of my stuff and going into a city with no job. I felt very strong at the time that I had too. And man oh man that was the best decision!!! Faith is an amazing thing. I found a great job within two days of being here and amazing apartment a few months later.

Things have a way of working out.

laurience

I think you have a great outlook on life Dreamz and it is good to question what you will lear from this and review your situation.
Joanne

Dreamz

I'm still sick - not sure if I'm getting worse or better - probably about the same.

Not down or depressed and surprisingly I feel less like meth than I have in ages!

Funny because you would think I would want it more now cause I'm so sick but hey - not going to question it - just glad I'm like this!!!

liiise

hey baby!!! glad to hear you are still jogginggggggggggggg, good for you and you are right when you are sick you want stuff to make you feel better, me it's chocolate, smoking, and a nice rye and coke lol but nopee just ride it out.. what i do sometimes is put an elastic on my wrist and everytime i have a negative thought i snap it and change my though to a positive one, trust me it works ask my sister lol were all here for you , my prayers are with you ANDDDDDDDDD did you ask Joanne to help you with your resumeeeeeee?? luv lise x0x0

lani

hey there. now i can finally reply to you....just read this. anyway, i have sooooooo much to say, but i'll keep it short.

losing family sux and takes much time to heal, but it happens.

be mucho grateful for your fabulous sister. it's worse if she's not there at all.

jobs come and go....be confident in YOU and your next job will be even better.

you are a wonderful beautiful and supportive person. know those strengths and use them to get where you want to go.

i thank you for your past support and hope that i can do the same.

Dreamz

Thanks Lani - good to here from you. Welcome to my thread!!!

Was really sick yesterday - went to hospital - better now but was running a really high fever - verging on a bit delirious (sp?)

This is my last day at work today - I feel a bit sad, kinda empty because I expected more - but this is one of lifes lessons - I am stronger for it!!!

Haven't found another job yet - have registered with some recruitment agencies who seem to think I look good on paper and in person and they are confident that I will find a job very soon!!!!

lani

hope you are feeling better!!!!!!!!

Dreamz

Still looking for a job - have had alot of meth dreams lately - waking up feeling pretty sad because I don't have any but today I'm actually feeling much better. Like I don't think about it and when I do I don't even want it!

Still job hunting but feeling good about that too!!!

laurience

Glad to hear from you Dreamz. I was wondering how you were doing. Keep your chin up and if you need any advice on job searching just write o.k. I am sure with your experience and great personality you will find something soon. Hang in there.
Joanne

lani

I wanted to wish you happy thoughts with your search.

Take a deep breath, count to ten, and tackle each task one step at a time.

Dreamz

thanks Lani.

I think I'm starting to worry a bit...not really worry. I just know I should really get started if I want a job. I've noticed that I'm about to run out of money - after the next two weeks rent I'm pretty much cleaned out.
But I'm still in a good mood. I'm staying positive!!!

lani

hmmm.....i'm not convinced......what's really going on in that head of yours.....?:nono:

Dreamz

No really I'm ok - just not sure what to do about this whole job thing. I don't want to get stuck in a rut. But I don't have much motivation - gotta keep positive!@!!

liiise

BONJOUR, don't worry about it everything will fall into place, do they have temporary agencies there??? nice to see your post, i often think of you and hope you are doing well... Lise

Dreamz

Yeah I hope it does fall into place.

I just avoided a major relapse. I almost met up with my partner in crime - we were junkies together.

I should feel good, But I feel like crap.

I'm going to bed I think - no sun today - miserable day!!!