Can you share?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 348
Can you share?
Would you mind sharing some of your stories how your drinking became progressive over time? I have to get it in my stubborn head that my drinking would of progressed with time. Like my total blackouts, waking up with whoever when I was single wasn't enough..
Joanne
Joanne
Don't get undies in a bunch
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,120
Hello Joanne
If I go down stairs right now and have one beer, it will give me the same buzz that a six pack gave me before I stopped drinking.
After a week or less of drinking one beer a night, it will take 2-3 to give me the same buzz. Every hear the expression...they are a cheap drunk. It is said in relationship to the friend who gets hammered on just a few beers. What happens to that friend? Before you and they know it, they can just about match you beer for beer.
What started out as friday nights with my friends, soon became Friday and Saturday nights...then Sundays, then Mondays....then as long as the money lasted into the week...then payday and it started all over again.
What started out as a few beers became a six pack, then two six packs, then sixpacks and rum and coke...then it became Rum with no coke and six packs to wash it down. Friday night buzz with friends reached a point it took over my life in a very few short years.
If I go down stairs right now and have one beer, it will give me the same buzz that a six pack gave me before I stopped drinking.
After a week or less of drinking one beer a night, it will take 2-3 to give me the same buzz. Every hear the expression...they are a cheap drunk. It is said in relationship to the friend who gets hammered on just a few beers. What happens to that friend? Before you and they know it, they can just about match you beer for beer.
What started out as friday nights with my friends, soon became Friday and Saturday nights...then Sundays, then Mondays....then as long as the money lasted into the week...then payday and it started all over again.
What started out as a few beers became a six pack, then two six packs, then sixpacks and rum and coke...then it became Rum with no coke and six packs to wash it down. Friday night buzz with friends reached a point it took over my life in a very few short years.
Dreamz do come true!!!
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Australia
Posts: 348
I tried meth once cause my friends did it. I didn't really get that much of a kick out of it but I wanted to do what my friends were doing cause I wanted to feel independant - all my life I've been told I'm naive and sheltered I wanted to prove them wrong.
Then I used to have some just before I went out to wake me up a bit.
Then I used to have some the whole weekend to keep me going on 2 day benders.
Then I had a friend we used to meet up during the week and one day we decided to get some just to be kamp and random
Then we used to do it once a week as well as when we went out- but we didn't tell anyone
Then we used to get tired for work so we'd always have a little in the morning to wake us up, then we'd have the rest when we were together at night to stay up chatting
Then we used to do it in the morning on tea breaks, on lunch breaks and we'd be calling each other while we were doing it cause we don't work together, then we'd do the rest when we got home.
Then we couldn't go to work without it because we would be too tired. So we got heaps and heaps just to get us through the week
Then our jobs were getting in the way of our meth time so we quit, then all we'd do was sit at home having meth, then when her parents got home - she still lived with them, we used to drive around usually ti my house and back (I lived two hours away)
Then I lost my mind - I would put off seeing my boyfriend just so I could see her and we could do meth - then I started thinking that when she wasn't with me she'd be doing more meth without me so I started hating her and the only reason I still saw her was because we were doing meth, so we had a fake friendship.
Thats how it progressed for me.
Getting off it has been the hardest thing I've ever had to do
But I'm doing it!!!
Then I used to have some just before I went out to wake me up a bit.
Then I used to have some the whole weekend to keep me going on 2 day benders.
Then I had a friend we used to meet up during the week and one day we decided to get some just to be kamp and random
Then we used to do it once a week as well as when we went out- but we didn't tell anyone
Then we used to get tired for work so we'd always have a little in the morning to wake us up, then we'd have the rest when we were together at night to stay up chatting
Then we used to do it in the morning on tea breaks, on lunch breaks and we'd be calling each other while we were doing it cause we don't work together, then we'd do the rest when we got home.
Then we couldn't go to work without it because we would be too tired. So we got heaps and heaps just to get us through the week
Then our jobs were getting in the way of our meth time so we quit, then all we'd do was sit at home having meth, then when her parents got home - she still lived with them, we used to drive around usually ti my house and back (I lived two hours away)
Then I lost my mind - I would put off seeing my boyfriend just so I could see her and we could do meth - then I started thinking that when she wasn't with me she'd be doing more meth without me so I started hating her and the only reason I still saw her was because we were doing meth, so we had a fake friendship.
Thats how it progressed for me.
Getting off it has been the hardest thing I've ever had to do
But I'm doing it!!!
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Here are many stories for you...
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/stories-recovery/
And here is a link for you to consider..
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html
Action!
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/stories-recovery/
And here is a link for you to consider..
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html
Action!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: FRIENDSWOOD, TEXAS
Posts: 500
after 33 days when I hadnt drank and the day I relapsed I had 4 or 5 beers and was drunk when before I could drink 7-10 beers to get drunk. Also about 5 yrs ago I would drink just on Friday, Saturday and Sunday then I eventually got up to drinking everyday not as much during the week, but I still got to where I was a daily drinker which I blamed on being overwhelmed and stressed out cause my son was on drugs, I know there are know excuses but I did not know how else to cope on top of having a stressful job at a law firm.
Belgian Sheepdog Adictee
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
Posts: 6,101
how your drinking became progressive over time? I
Move ahead to 3 weeks shy of my 36th birthday, no fancy houses, no fancy cars or clothes or jewelry,no husband, no family, no "Club Memberships" and I had spent the last 1 1/2 years of my drinking living on the streets drinking Thunderbird Wine and/or Red Port.
And to top all that off I ended up in the ER at Olive View Hospital with an ER DR writing the TOD on my medical chart after fighting all day to keep my heart going and the last 28 minute down time was it. NOPE, heart started on its own...........................I was given a 2nd chance.
You know Joanne it has been said many times that there are 3 UPs for an alcoholic:
Locked UP
Covered UP, or
Sobered UP
The choice is yours, so............................what's it going to be?
J M H O
Love and hugs,
Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: California
Posts: 972
Powerful post ((( laurie )))
I didn't start drinking until I was 30. It took me about 10 years to become dependent enough that I had the shakes. I had previously been a pot smoker and into psychedics. It was when I found cocaine that the chit hit the fan.
I got clean from cocaine and remained a drunk. I lost my work, my marraige and my self esteem and was basically forced to become clean/sober.
After 6 months I relapsed with booze and then I decided to become a tweaking speed freak in order to not be a fall down drunk. By the way.. I never lost my tolerance to booze. When I had last became sober I could drink an entire bottle of tequilla or scotch.. when I relapsed a got there in a few days.
I quit the crank and became a fall down drunk.
I relapsed on the crank and found I still needed the same amount I had previously used a year before. I could drink even more than a bottle of Tequilla, Scotch or whatever I could put my hands on.
Not wanting to lose another marriage and having been put in the nut house a couple of times because I was so filled with self hatred that I tried to kill myself .. This dis-ease is progressive and with every relapse I became more tolerant (nothing worked for me anymore, I could not get high) and more suicidally depressed.
I finally had nothing to lose by getting sober. Sobriety or death.
It was at that point easy to choose sobriety.
It takes what it takes. When you're finished you're finished.. I wish I would've believed what everyone ahead of me had experienced, but I wasn't finished experiencing my own personal hell.
I so hope you are!
I didn't start drinking until I was 30. It took me about 10 years to become dependent enough that I had the shakes. I had previously been a pot smoker and into psychedics. It was when I found cocaine that the chit hit the fan.
I got clean from cocaine and remained a drunk. I lost my work, my marraige and my self esteem and was basically forced to become clean/sober.
After 6 months I relapsed with booze and then I decided to become a tweaking speed freak in order to not be a fall down drunk. By the way.. I never lost my tolerance to booze. When I had last became sober I could drink an entire bottle of tequilla or scotch.. when I relapsed a got there in a few days.
I quit the crank and became a fall down drunk.
I relapsed on the crank and found I still needed the same amount I had previously used a year before. I could drink even more than a bottle of Tequilla, Scotch or whatever I could put my hands on.
Not wanting to lose another marriage and having been put in the nut house a couple of times because I was so filled with self hatred that I tried to kill myself .. This dis-ease is progressive and with every relapse I became more tolerant (nothing worked for me anymore, I could not get high) and more suicidally depressed.
I finally had nothing to lose by getting sober. Sobriety or death.
It was at that point easy to choose sobriety.
It takes what it takes. When you're finished you're finished.. I wish I would've believed what everyone ahead of me had experienced, but I wasn't finished experiencing my own personal hell.
I so hope you are!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 348
Wow.. THANKS SOO SO MUCH.. I wish you wouldn't of all had to go through what you did but you knonw your stories help me soooo much. I have been doing a ton of sould searching and today is day 10.. I am being so honest with myself this time. No hiding or denial. hugs to everyone.
Joanne
Joanne
Member
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: niagara falls, ontario
Posts: 173
i only drank mostly once a weekend when i was single but made choice i would of never made sober. then got a boyfriend and only drank one a month, seems would now only take me 2 -3 drinks to get wasted, bad, and forget things and be out drinking instead of with my family. I drove last week with my niece in the car and a mike's hard lemonade. that's it no more. i shutter to think of what could of happened and luckily i have a great support system, love you sister
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
16yrs. Sober...My Story
Hi im Sharon and Im an Alcoholic.
This is my story.
I went to a local club Feb 1990 and upon returning home less than a mile from my home i ran off the road hitting a concrete culvert sitting on top the ground. The EMS was called around 2 AM in which i dont recall the ride to the hosital where i stayed for 10 day with them removing my punctured spleen are i would have bled to death.
A few months home healing quite well with the help of pain pills and no alcohol. As soon as the pills had no more pain to heal i picked up a drink.
It is now Aug90 and ive returned to the same club drinking and carrying on. This time i returned home late to a horrible arguement which then led to a dare that i kept. My spouse ordered me to go to sleep after i told him that i should just end my life and then everyone would be happy. He thought i was bluffing and left the room. I then quietly said to myself...."i'll show u." With a hand full of pain pills from the closet, i drank them down with a big gulp of wine and off to bed i went with hopes i wouldnt wake up the next day.
The next morning was to be my 2 little ones last day at vacation bible school. They tried to wake me with no luck. Then i heard a faint ringing of the phone next to my bed. This allowed me to pick it up and with slurred voice answered it. To this day i believe it was my HP calling me to get up because He wasnt thru with me yet.
And so the voice turned out to be my mother-in-law who was screaming at me to get up and move around. I was scared enough that i staggered to the bathroom to induce vomiting and get those pills out of my system.
Why did I do that? hmmmm....some little Voice in the back of my head was guiding me.
The next thing i remembered was my spouse trying to haul me to the car to take me to the hospital to get my stomach pumped. I fought tooth and nail to keep him away from me because i didnt need to go since i had already thru up most of that crap in my system.
Anyway...i was too strong for him and he needed help.
Before i knew it the police had come to take me away. Hmmmm where????
They had gotten a court order to take me to the "crazy ward" because i was unstable so they thought and i may try to harm myself again....I dont think so.... hmmmm
So i left quietly following th officers and passing both my husband and father-in law out the back door. I looked at both of them with daggers in my eyes and with soooooo much hatred inside me...like how could u do this to me.....little me...who wouldnt harm a single hair on ur head. hmmmm
I was led to the back of a handless police car where i sat inside behind a screened whatever u call it...it was to protect me from them or them from me????? I felt soooooo ashamed...so humiliated.....sooo hurt.....I was pissed....
That first night was spent in the hospital for the mentally ill. The sockets were filled in with plaster....wire fences on the windows in case i wanted to escape....all my stuff was taken from me like hair dryer, cologne , makeup...all my comfy things to make me look pretty. Now why would they take away my cologne???? Im not gonna drink that...YUK...
I later learned that people did drink cologne, rubbing alcohol, lighter fluid....oh yuk.....I had no idea. anyway...the next day i went thru a whole bunch of test to see if i was sane or not....i passed everything with flying colors and really felt sorry for all those other people shuffling across the floor. Now that was eiry.
After they diagniosed me as someone with a drinking problem i was sent up stairs to the Silkworth Hopsital for 2 weeks. Well 2 weeks flew and i was told i wasnt going to make it outside the door sober one day and offered to send me to a halfway house. Hmmmm right...panic city snuck in....i was already away from my little ones long enough and i didnt want to be shipped out of state to a halfway house away from my family any longer.
So a deal was made to where i could stay in treatment there for the entire 28 days followed by a 6 week intensive aftercare program.
I did it accordingly and was home with my family before i knew it.
What happened to me after all that.....well with the tools of recovery placed in my hands, suggestions filled my head, i was sent off with willingness and desire to stay sober know matter what.
I knew what i had to do and i did it no matter what....no matter how hard it got......I went to meeting after meetings and watched others, listen to others as i spoke not a word. I absorbed what i could comprehend at the time and kept doing what others had been doing before me for many years.
I wanted what they had more than anything.....it hasnt come to me quickly but it is coming to me....the promises as stated in the Big Book. They will materalize if u work for them.
Faith without works is dead. I have faith because of the way i was raised....i may not practice my religion like im suppose to, but i do have faith in Something or Someone More Powerful than I. I rely on that Power and you people and my recovery program to keep me sober one day at a time.
For that and you, Im TRUELY GRATEFUL TO BE SOBER TODAY 16 YRS LATER.
Thanks for letting me share.
__
Hi im Sharon and Im an Alcoholic.
This is my story.
I went to a local club Feb 1990 and upon returning home less than a mile from my home i ran off the road hitting a concrete culvert sitting on top the ground. The EMS was called around 2 AM in which i dont recall the ride to the hosital where i stayed for 10 day with them removing my punctured spleen are i would have bled to death.
A few months home healing quite well with the help of pain pills and no alcohol. As soon as the pills had no more pain to heal i picked up a drink.
It is now Aug90 and ive returned to the same club drinking and carrying on. This time i returned home late to a horrible arguement which then led to a dare that i kept. My spouse ordered me to go to sleep after i told him that i should just end my life and then everyone would be happy. He thought i was bluffing and left the room. I then quietly said to myself...."i'll show u." With a hand full of pain pills from the closet, i drank them down with a big gulp of wine and off to bed i went with hopes i wouldnt wake up the next day.
The next morning was to be my 2 little ones last day at vacation bible school. They tried to wake me with no luck. Then i heard a faint ringing of the phone next to my bed. This allowed me to pick it up and with slurred voice answered it. To this day i believe it was my HP calling me to get up because He wasnt thru with me yet.
And so the voice turned out to be my mother-in-law who was screaming at me to get up and move around. I was scared enough that i staggered to the bathroom to induce vomiting and get those pills out of my system.
Why did I do that? hmmmm....some little Voice in the back of my head was guiding me.
The next thing i remembered was my spouse trying to haul me to the car to take me to the hospital to get my stomach pumped. I fought tooth and nail to keep him away from me because i didnt need to go since i had already thru up most of that crap in my system.
Anyway...i was too strong for him and he needed help.
Before i knew it the police had come to take me away. Hmmmm where????
They had gotten a court order to take me to the "crazy ward" because i was unstable so they thought and i may try to harm myself again....I dont think so.... hmmmm
So i left quietly following th officers and passing both my husband and father-in law out the back door. I looked at both of them with daggers in my eyes and with soooooo much hatred inside me...like how could u do this to me.....little me...who wouldnt harm a single hair on ur head. hmmmm
I was led to the back of a handless police car where i sat inside behind a screened whatever u call it...it was to protect me from them or them from me????? I felt soooooo ashamed...so humiliated.....sooo hurt.....I was pissed....
That first night was spent in the hospital for the mentally ill. The sockets were filled in with plaster....wire fences on the windows in case i wanted to escape....all my stuff was taken from me like hair dryer, cologne , makeup...all my comfy things to make me look pretty. Now why would they take away my cologne???? Im not gonna drink that...YUK...
I later learned that people did drink cologne, rubbing alcohol, lighter fluid....oh yuk.....I had no idea. anyway...the next day i went thru a whole bunch of test to see if i was sane or not....i passed everything with flying colors and really felt sorry for all those other people shuffling across the floor. Now that was eiry.
After they diagniosed me as someone with a drinking problem i was sent up stairs to the Silkworth Hopsital for 2 weeks. Well 2 weeks flew and i was told i wasnt going to make it outside the door sober one day and offered to send me to a halfway house. Hmmmm right...panic city snuck in....i was already away from my little ones long enough and i didnt want to be shipped out of state to a halfway house away from my family any longer.
So a deal was made to where i could stay in treatment there for the entire 28 days followed by a 6 week intensive aftercare program.
I did it accordingly and was home with my family before i knew it.
What happened to me after all that.....well with the tools of recovery placed in my hands, suggestions filled my head, i was sent off with willingness and desire to stay sober know matter what.
I knew what i had to do and i did it no matter what....no matter how hard it got......I went to meeting after meetings and watched others, listen to others as i spoke not a word. I absorbed what i could comprehend at the time and kept doing what others had been doing before me for many years.
I wanted what they had more than anything.....it hasnt come to me quickly but it is coming to me....the promises as stated in the Big Book. They will materalize if u work for them.
Faith without works is dead. I have faith because of the way i was raised....i may not practice my religion like im suppose to, but i do have faith in Something or Someone More Powerful than I. I rely on that Power and you people and my recovery program to keep me sober one day at a time.
For that and you, Im TRUELY GRATEFUL TO BE SOBER TODAY 16 YRS LATER.
Thanks for letting me share.
__
Member
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: whitby ontario
Posts: 2
Sobriety finally?
Howdy Joanne! Just thought I would add my own past history. While my story may not seem as drastic as some, things did spiral out of control. I am 41 and come from a long line of happy go lucky drinkers but did have an uncle and grandmother who were alcoholics.Like most I drank excessively in University. The biggest problem that started for me was working full time shift work in a small town. I lived on my own but didn't mind my own company and spent many a night drinking by myself. The frequency or amount were never that bad. My first marriage was a disaster however and I spent many a night up late by myself trying to drink away the blues. An eventual divorce led to increased drinking.Fortunately I could not afford to drink often, Things eventually improved I was regularily active in Martial Arts and only drank heavy on days when I didn't train or work. I found that as I could afford more I would drink more, get togethers with friends or family were treated as binges. Solo I would drink 4 or 5 beers 3 days a week with one binge weekly. My current wife never complained we led somewhat independent lives and she always figured everyone was entitled to their own vices. Despite whatever fitness goal I had either weightraining, marathon training etc I could not shake loose my drinking habit and still drank a lot regualarily. My drinking never became an issue in my own mind until my son was born in 2002. I always swore I would not drink excessively at home with him but as always the addiction rules. An 8 week lay-off with a bad back injury exponentially increased alcohol consumption, a bad combination of boredom and chronic pain. By the fall of last year I was drinking a litre of red wine 6 days a week , that eventually became a two bottles andsome bourban as a nightcap. Pretty soon I couldn't fall asleep unless I drank enough to pass out and I was a bear to be around if I did't plan my night of drinking and failed to stock up. Finally this summer I was scimming through an addiction for dummies book and standing back I thought I have a problem. Not wanting to group myself in with the hardcore alcoholics , I labelled myself as "alcohol depependent" or a functioning problem drinker. I decided to be pro-active before things spiralled out of control and sought counselling at an addiction centre. The counsellor thought drinking in moderation could be a long term goal but for now we would try abstaining on a daily basis. I lasted for two weeks before I drank again. I seemed to be able to about 8 days before some excuse would appear so I could justify getting drunk. My turnaround event was last week after drinking red wine all night, I decided to try and use a straight razor for the first time at 3 am. During my hangover the next day I had a moment of clarity and realized I am an alcoholic who can't drink recreationally, when I drink I want to get stone drunk. I bought a book that day called "sober for good" , it suggested taking stock of your life and making up and pros and cons list for giving up alcohol. By the end of the weekend I decided I was going to be sober and totally abstain from alcohol. I am one week clean and sober and trying to lay out a path for recovery. I am a buddhist but attended an AA meeting to see what it was like, I meet with my addiction counsellor in two days to enlighten her on my goals and I plan to join a relapse prevention group. I am partly excited that I can start living to my full potential my I am scared to death as well. I am in remorse for losing something that has been a part of me for 25 years, scared of dealing with friends or family when i suddenly have to justify my sobriety and most of all scared to relapse and slide back into familiar patterns. One interesting quote I read said " alcohol will not make any problem easier to solve, nor improve any outcome". Any suggestions , feedback or experiences would be appreciated.
Squid
Squid
Member
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Kansas City,MO
Posts: 17
The best thing I can say is that it is amazingly easy these days to rationalize your drinking habits (the book beyond the influence attributes some of it to the insurance industry). The great thing about places like this and places like AA, SOS or anyplace that offers true help is not the quantity you use but your desire to stop. I think that one of the greatest long-term effects of AA is that it puts in the front of public knowledge of the disease and the symptoms. Giving people to reign in the problem early. Do not be discouraged by those who say, "Everyone drinks to much now and then." It is all about you and when you want to quit for today
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 348
Squid, I am also in remorse for saying goodbye to booze. I totally understand the not wanting to justify sobriety with friends. I am in the same boat, but this has to be about me and not about them. I can't worry about what others will think. If they are my real friends, then they will want to hang around me no matter what which I am sure is the case. You don't have to tell anyone if you don't want to right away. I want to congatulate you for being honest with yourself, seeking help, and reading alot of books. Knowledge is power. It has been 11 days for me and I plan to stick with it.. I am sure if we continue to drink things would eventually get nightmarish. My biggest weapon right now in not falling back into old patterns and denial is complete honesty and addressing all those little voices that creep up and tell me ahhh!! your an o.k. drinker, everybody gets drunk.. Post some threads on the board and I am sure you will gets lots of support. You might want to copy your story and put it in a new thread for all to see. We can do this. Best of luck Squid..
Joanne
Joanne
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