laurience

Get through all of this and still have patience with my boys? I feel on edge, anxious, very low patience. I always teach my oldest not to hit and today I smacked his hand and then felt awful. He hardly cried but it is the fact that I don't want to tap, smack, whathever..

How can I keep remembering that drinking for me is evil. I know it is one day at a time but the days turn into weeks and then I choose to forget, lie about reality and start drinking again. I so don't want to do that. Does anybody have tips on this point? How do you remind yourself and stay motivated?

I just feel like bawling. I feel defeated, ashamed and embarrassed. How do you control anxiety. I think with me, I always got really drunk when trying to control my anxiety which of course sent me for a loop and made it much worse. Do others have anxiety issues?
Joanne

laurience

For those of you who didn't read my first posts. My oldest boy is almost 3 and youngest is 16 months.
Joanne

Anna

Hi Joanne,

I think it's much more than not drinking. Not drinking is only the beginning. I found that there was so much work I had to do on myself. I had to take an honest look at who I was and where I was in my life, what was good about it and what was bad about it. I was surprised by what I saw and I set out to change things about myself.

As for the anxiety, it can be difficult. But, I think getting through each day and each week gives you more confidence in yourself and your ability to deal with daily life.

Have you checked out this thread:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...not-using.html

Ngokpa

We don't have to beat ourselves up when we blow it; we have to learn from the experience.

One of the important lessons I got in my early days of AA is the notion of alcoholism as a disease. Having compulsions isn't about lack of moral fiber or intestinal fortitude; it's a symptom of the disease. Going to meetings or otherwise being involved with AA or another program is how we deal with that and another symptom--denial. We have to not only know the score, we have to get it in our soul.

I like "Beyond the Influence" better than AA literature in terms of understanding the disease, since it covers the range better and spends more time talking about cross addiction and other issues. But an important part of AA and other programs is working with the obcession, and finding a replacement for it.

I drank to control anxiety too, but didn't know that much of my anxiety came from alcohol, including it's after affects when I wasn't drinking. I thought sobriety was about anxiety, but that wasn't sobriety--it was going through withdrawals. I don't know an easy way of getting through early sobriety, other than going to a lot of meetings; but we can learn new ways of dealing with anxiety. Some of them include stress management, relaxation exercises, meditation, acupuncture, yoga or other exercise, taking a hot bath, getting a massage when we need to, or drinking camomelle tea. It might be hard to sit still long enough for those things to happen in the early going, but things get easier when we're not just hanging in there by our fingernails.


Hang in there!

requiredfield

For me getting sober wasn't all that hard. It's staying sober and learning how to live sober that becomes the challenge. For me, I attend meetings on mostly a daily basis, surround myself with sober friends (which happened over time by going to meetings) and have begun to TRY to change the person I am into the person I've always wanted to be. Being and staying sober, for me, is a journey, full of peaks and valleys but as long as I don't pick up JUST FOR TODAY, I know that every new day I have a chance to change and grow.

Please don't beat yourself up for being human. None of us are perfect, and will ever be. We all make mistakes. But we must be willing to learn from them and try to grow towards a better ideal. That's it... just the willingness. I fall short all the time. But I just don't drink. All this has been learned and reinforced by joining AA on a daily basis. Because I was willing and desperate to do anything I went in with an open mind and admitted I knew nothing when it came to living sober.

As for the anxiety, oh I have been there... drunk and in sobriety, too. But it's not anywhere near as bad as it was when I was drinking, and the times it occured in sobriety... it always passed.

Hang in there....
Anna

NEEDTOBESOBER

I have an anxiety disorder and I dont know which came first-the drinking or the anxiety but I think I have always had anxiety but the alcohol probable made my anxiety worse.

laurience

Wow.. Your advice was so thought out and amazing.. Thanks so much for taking the time. I basically like the person I am. I just have ALOT of built up shame about stuff I have done when drinking that I have to get passed. It is a tough pill to swallow. Again, thank you so much. I am really glad I found this group and trust me when I say I am reading your messages word per word and hanging on for dear life.
Joanne

Candy Scratch

Joanne,
Reading your post hit home for me. Shame is a feeling I have been dodging for years, but that is exactly bang on what I have felt throughout so many years of abusing alcohol. Shame. Not for drinking in and of itself, but for what I have said and done while under the influence. I keep thinking I feel bad, I feel angry, I feel sick, lonely, determined to quit. But I have never admitted my shame and that is exactly it. Thanks for helping me realize a huge component that I really must get over in order to move ahead.

Hugs and best to you.

laurience

Candy Scratch... best of luck to you.. I am sure we will be at a better place down the road.
Joanne

bluedove

i know my husband is an alchoholic....when he manages to stay clean he gets the aggresion out by weight lifting..maybe you could try that laurience good luck