Bad news for me Bye everbody you've been great
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Washington
Posts: 5,093
I could always find an excuse to drink. What really matters is finding the reason's not to.
I'm reminded of an ex-boyfriend of mine. He was always angry at his boss. One night he was going to show him. Those were his exact words, I'll show him as he started guzzling tequila straight from the bottle. Mind you, he wasn't much of a drinker and he was guzzling the stuff like it was koolaid. I told him you might want to watch it, you are going to be the one who will suffer, not your boss. As he crawled on his hands and knees in the back yard, puking his guts out for 20 minutes, yeah, he showed him all right.
I'm reminded of an ex-boyfriend of mine. He was always angry at his boss. One night he was going to show him. Those were his exact words, I'll show him as he started guzzling tequila straight from the bottle. Mind you, he wasn't much of a drinker and he was guzzling the stuff like it was koolaid. I told him you might want to watch it, you are going to be the one who will suffer, not your boss. As he crawled on his hands and knees in the back yard, puking his guts out for 20 minutes, yeah, he showed him all right.
~ 5 ~
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Colorado
Posts: 305
Once,
Come on we can all list 1001 reasons why we should say f**k it all lets go drink, i could start with my sh*ty childhood and years of abuse or move on to my years spent in and out of court and parole hearings to keep the a&& in prison or I could drink cause that same piece of crap lives and works not 2 miles from where im sitting right now.........not to mention my 1st marriage and how my ex abused his own baby girl and how i fight everyday to keep her away from him and safe..
My life has not always been fun or great but i chose to let it beat me for years and now im saying hell NO I DESERVE BETTER!!!!!
DOnt give up on your self, nothing good will come of it.
Come on we can all list 1001 reasons why we should say f**k it all lets go drink, i could start with my sh*ty childhood and years of abuse or move on to my years spent in and out of court and parole hearings to keep the a&& in prison or I could drink cause that same piece of crap lives and works not 2 miles from where im sitting right now.........not to mention my 1st marriage and how my ex abused his own baby girl and how i fight everyday to keep her away from him and safe..
My life has not always been fun or great but i chose to let it beat me for years and now im saying hell NO I DESERVE BETTER!!!!!
DOnt give up on your self, nothing good will come of it.
one day at a time
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: America the Beautiful
Posts: 210
Originally Posted by hector
Wait up, Oncenice! I'm going to join your pity party! Hold the door open!
Abou 20 years ago, before I sobered up, I felt God call me into the ordained ministry of my church. I've just been thwarted again, told that it's not gonna happen anytime soon. I'm p!ssed off beyond belief. I'm contemplating drastic, life changing, life ending action, because if I got drunk now, after 17 3/4 years sobriety, my life would be over.
You're right, life sucks. Let's get drunk, that'll teach the bastards! Let's destroy ourselves, then they'll be sorry for their sins! That'll kick 'em in the gonads! Screw it!
PM me your city, we'll meet somewhere and get sh!tfaced and stay that way til we die.
I hope I'm not serious. I don't know.
Abou 20 years ago, before I sobered up, I felt God call me into the ordained ministry of my church. I've just been thwarted again, told that it's not gonna happen anytime soon. I'm p!ssed off beyond belief. I'm contemplating drastic, life changing, life ending action, because if I got drunk now, after 17 3/4 years sobriety, my life would be over.
You're right, life sucks. Let's get drunk, that'll teach the bastards! Let's destroy ourselves, then they'll be sorry for their sins! That'll kick 'em in the gonads! Screw it!
PM me your city, we'll meet somewhere and get sh!tfaced and stay that way til we die.
I hope I'm not serious. I don't know.
one day at a time
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: America the Beautiful
Posts: 210
OnceNice, I think you are stronger than you are giving yourself credit for. Sure you are having hard times, we all do, but you have to keep the faith and be strong. Read the poem "DON'T QUIT" and listen to what it is saying. If you don't know the poem, go to the HYDROCODONE ADDICTION thread in substance abuse, I posted it there a few days ago. The best thing you can do is stay in here and keep posting. Sure you can't see us but we are all real and we all have been where you are right now, or in similar circumstances. The people in here are very good, caring people and they (we) want to help you. Don't quit.....
Blue
Blue
Its_me_jen
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Salina, Ks
Posts: 8,547
Rose,
I feel really bad that I didn't get to see this post yesterday. I've been dealing with some of my own crap lately. You do realize that we've all got our own crap to deal with, don't you? You have to make a decision whether you want to drink yourself to death or not. You're the only one who can do that. You were sober for something like 20 days, 21 may be?, and I don't think you ever really had made the decision that you were done. You really need to search deep inside of yourself to find that desire, it IS there but you have to find it. I truly hope you do.
I hope you log back in and see all of these "real" people that care about you. If you do actually leave and get drunk or what ever you were referring to, I want you to know that I will miss you. I hope you reconsider and log back in here. If not, I wish you well.
hugs,
doll
I feel really bad that I didn't get to see this post yesterday. I've been dealing with some of my own crap lately. You do realize that we've all got our own crap to deal with, don't you? You have to make a decision whether you want to drink yourself to death or not. You're the only one who can do that. You were sober for something like 20 days, 21 may be?, and I don't think you ever really had made the decision that you were done. You really need to search deep inside of yourself to find that desire, it IS there but you have to find it. I truly hope you do.
I hope you log back in and see all of these "real" people that care about you. If you do actually leave and get drunk or what ever you were referring to, I want you to know that I will miss you. I hope you reconsider and log back in here. If not, I wish you well.
hugs,
doll
Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: California
Posts: 972
That sucks Rose...
You've struggled through a lot. Maybe you can try a little harm reduction? If you find yourself in another pit of despair please remember that booze is a chemical depressant and there is no way to get around that.
I really enjoyed reading your posts and I hope you'll come back... if for no other reason than to have half your cake and eat the other half too! No reason to stay away... you've made some friends here even though we are invisible we're still entertaining!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: FRIENDSWOOD, TEXAS
Posts: 500
OnceNice,
Don't give up now, you have come a long way and what happened with your job? Whatever it is, don't use as an excuse, I have done that before used excuses and it will just put you back where you started from. I am here for you if you decide to come back.
Don't give up now, you have come a long way and what happened with your job? Whatever it is, don't use as an excuse, I have done that before used excuses and it will just put you back where you started from. I am here for you if you decide to come back.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: wherever my feet take me
Posts: 1,314
Oncenice, I cant tell you how many times I have thrown in the towel, but I can tell you I ALWAYS regret it and eventually I always find my way back to SR. Yor job might suck, but most everything in life is usually temporary. Try to hang in there. Using will only make your thinking more negative and then everything will start to suck. Maybe I have no room to talk because my using brought me to a place in which I have become unable to work, but i feel like I should let you know using will not be the answer you should be looking for. I wish you the best and hope you can work your way through this. I dont know you but I believe you can and will.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Plymouth, MN
Posts: 960
Life on life's terms. The world isn't going to change -- it's how we deal with the world that can change. Don't give in -- it's an excuse to use. When you have gotten it out of your system, we will be here with open arms.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Highlands, TX
Posts: 1,192
Once Nice, you know I was just sharing on this in a meeting last night. In early sobriety my first inclination when things went south was F*ck it, I Might as well have a drink. Today I don't have to do that. Today neither do you. In sobriety we learn to live life on life's terms, good and bad, and we hold on to the belief that a circumstance that seems horrible to us at the moment will at some point down the road reveal itself to be a blessing in disguise. I love my employment at 3 months sober (1 year contract was up). I was terrified because I am a single parent and din't know what I was going to do. Also, staying cooped up in the house was not the answer because most of my drinking was done in isolation. Well, I got another job a couple of weeks after leaving the current company. I am now in a full time job with great pay and it is catholic healthcare so we can bring spirituality to work. I started out in HR. I am so glad I got the job after I had been sober about 3 months because there was no way I could have done it while drinking. God did for me what I couldn't do for myself. He put down the bottle and told me to trust Him and that He knew what was right for me. Funny thing happens is when I try to take back over control I screw things up and have to beg God to take them back from me. When I go in seeking His will and not my own, the things that happen are so amazing and wonderful. I have seen it in my own life. I am getting to watch it firsthand wih my sponsee and others in the rooms of AA.
I don't know if you drank after you posted this or not but regardless, please rejoin our family and allow us to share our experiences, strengths and hopes with you. We need you as a newcomer!
Hugs,
Kellye
I don't know if you drank after you posted this or not but regardless, please rejoin our family and allow us to share our experiences, strengths and hopes with you. We need you as a newcomer!
Hugs,
Kellye
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Atlantic City New Jersey
Posts: 63
Oncenice,I wish I could lift you up out of the sh-t that you are in and show you a glimmer of hope for your future without booze.I remember asking why? why do I keep doing this?hurting my family,my kids,my self-over and over and over-day in day out-noone could reach me and the booze fuels the miseryand depression.I hit bottom wanting to die.I know I can't drink no matter what.AA or no AA-work or not-married or not,money no money-I know I can't drink-who cares about all the freakin rules or a lousy job,what about you?I know its hard but its up to you.Look how unhappy your life is now-don't give up!
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