latenightlady

Is there anyone out there who was a "100%" closet drunk? It may sound silly for that to be true but in all of my years of drinking.....and there were many years!~~~~~no one ever suspected. I would start drinking at ten o'clock PM and continue to drink for the next 4 hours while on the computer!......hubby goes to bed early and we have separate bedrooms!! This went on for years and years!! To this day he still doesn't know that I have been drinking. You may ask if we have any relationship at all!! Yes we do......just different clocks!!!!! He likes to get up early....just the opposite from me......and in twenty five or more years of drinking I've only gotten sick from drinking two or three times and I attributed this the "flu" or eatting the wrong thing!! Never drank in public because I knew that the way I drank..it would show! None of my friends knew either!! Talk about being a "Sneak"!!!!!

Am I making any sense? There are times when I wished that everyone knew....then admitting it to them would not seem so difficult!! That is why I like being here.......communication problems are arising in our 40 yr. marriage (now that the kids are gone) because we have different interests, etc. and now that he's retired I am going nuts! Do I love him? The answer is YES! I guess its just boredom. Gonna try to trade my drinking time to better myself physically and mentally so that he and I can get on the same page of life and enjoy our retirement.

Hopefully someone understands what I am saying.......would love to hear from anyone who had hidden their drinking for many years. Everyone here that I know who is an alcoholic was a fallen-down drunk. I'm definitely a drunk (or was one until 3 days ago!!!).....just not a fallen-down drunk!!

Thanks for listening....................

Sue (definitely a "latenightlady")

mygirls_mylife

Hi Sue! I was not a closet drinker. I never bothered to hide my addiction. So no words of wisdom there. Kudos for being honest here, though. I guess you have to see what you want out of this. Depending on how easy it is going to be for you to stop; you may need your husband's support. It certainly is wise to have support not just trying to do it alone. best to you,
Star

scootinbabe

easy to say but harder to do...tell him. you will feel the burden lift. read all you can about alcohol. try to go to a meeting. you will probably find others just like you.

welcome to SR! you've taken the first step!

latenightlady

Thanks so much for the reply............oh,I know that I will need his support and he will definitely be there for me. I got sober for thirteen years once and he was there for me. I just have the attitude that I want to do everything myself but I do know that this does not work when trying to go the sober route. Its a bad trait that I have! I have a problem when I do give up booze because I go into a serious "dry drunk" mode! But this time I hope to do it correctly....not just quit.....................AA or whatever works will be incorporated into my life. I never got anything out of AA but I also ~~~never brought anything to AA either~~~~!!

Thanks again..........gonna try my best this time! Not getting and younger!!

Sue

michski

If you're unhappy and lonely in what you're doing with your life then you're going to welcome the change and togetherness you'll feel with your husband and the support here and hopefully outside support.

I thought I was hiding my liquor after one sneaky relapse after another. Since then my husband has told me he knew all along I was drinking! We think we're in the closet but the smell and our own guilt goes a long way especially to one who knows us.

Hang tough.. you can make better choices for yourself. Is a sleep issue? Are you drinking yourself into sleep? Are you bored? Is that your alone time? Or like me.. do you just like doing something bad for yourself????

Wishing you the best, Please keep in contact with all of us here at SR!

latenightlady

Thanks Michski! Definite "FOOD FOR THOUGHT"...did bring up some very good points! Will check back later.....................................

ILoveAllCritter

I guess I was a closet drunk myself. I live alone and there was no one to catch me, except my cat! He didn't care as long as I gave him attention. Anyway, no one knew. I'd drink alone and pass out alone. I'd wake in the am, down a zillion asprin and go on about my day without anyone aware that I felt like trash. But if anyone was aware, they sure didn't tell me about it.

56 days clean and counting...

latenightlady

Hey Lisa, I wasn't alone........my hubby would be here. I would wait and wait until he went to bed (thank God he's an early bird!!!) then off I would go to tip that bottle!! My three cats kept me company....don't think they were going to tell!! Ha! Ha! Keep up the good work and keep in touch!!

Sue