0816

Toah,

So glad to see your getting a plan together...Good for you!!! I think you'll do fine if you really dedicate some effort. Not sure decreasing the drinking will work for you but hey, ya never know! If it doesn't work, try and get rid of it all together. You seem honest and that's always a great thing. Do it for your family. I'm cheering for you here in the US. What's the weather like these days in the UK? Fall is almost upon us here in New England, my favorite time of the year!

Question for you... Do you think you could/would stop if your wife made you leave the house? I just did this to my husband with hope that he'll get back on track. Any idea what I can do to be sure he stops and doesn't start again?

Thanks so much and be well. Cheers!!! 0816

miss communicat

Hi Tosh,

Best of luck to you on moderating.

miss communicat

0816

you might want to check out "Friends and Family of Alcoholics" Forum with your concerns over how to be sure your husband stops and doesn't start again. Best of luck to you, too!

Tosh

I'm still here forum members, but drunk as usual!

I'm crap!

GlassPrisoner

At least you're here.

So, how's the drinking working for you ? (I always wanted to say that)

Tosh

Well, firstly, before I answer, I'd like to thank the guys and gals who've given me some cracking advice and I've now saved this forum to my 'favourates', to give me some encoragement.

I've not done as well as expected with the 'cutting down on my alcohol intake', but I've not increased it either, but I'm still drinking too much. This evening I've drank (according to the cans) 18 UK units of alcohol, and I guess that's pretty average for me; more on weekends.

I'm still pretty lucid too; that's the scary thing.

I'm also functioning well; I still bathe every day and pluck the hairs out of my nostrils when necessary (something I don't do when I drink too much).

I've also started running and playing squash; but unfortunately my squash partner likes a drink, so after a game we both head to the bar to 're-hydrate'. Then I go home and drink more!

This can't be good for my health, but I don't think I can break the habit with will-power alone! I'm weak!

I think I need to see a doc! What do you think?

fivealive

Hey Tosh, good you still are posting. Like you, my hubby & I used to down between us 3 bottles wine nightly when I realised that I needed to cut back and again like you, I didn't know how I could live without it, all I wanted was to cut down but reading through all the posts I realised that I would have to stop completely to let my body recover for a while. I stopped and started on iced water (OK, it's summer here in NZ) and diet drinks. The first night was hard especially as Hubby is still drinking but this last weekend was a specially busy social one and I managed to be the sober driver without any effort. It can be done.
I would like to mention though, you said in your original posting that you are coming up to 40, and that the booze doesn't have any effect on you or your work, it never used to with me either, I'd been drinking heavily for probably 10 years and it never seemed to effect me, I could remember everything, run an efficient house, get out of bed easily, have a 'good' sex life but on turning 40 (I'm a woman so I'm not telling you how long ago that was!!!!) things changed. Suddenly I couldn't remember the night before, I was so tired all the time, when I questioned medical people about it they said that your body (men's and women's) change when you hit the 40+ mark and the way it handles alcohol so that what used to be non effective will become a major problem. Believe me, it's not a nice feeling waking up and not knowing what you had said or done the night before.
Anyway good luck and we are all supporting you.

chrisj728

Hello Tosh !
__________
Just a few words from a Brummie that might make sence even even drunk or sober.I've read your old posts and can relate to alot of what you said exept the army thing,I to drank my first family away with 2 kids only to move on to family No 2.Where like you I had a succesful buisness,provided well and had two more kids,never thinking that my drinking was causing any problems to me the family or the buisness.Then when my lad was about 15 and I was laying the law down about his behaviour his answer was , How can you tell me how to behave when all you do is get pissed,fall asleep on the couch,wake up argue with mom and then drink till your pissed again. Reality struck! What the f**k had I done and mores to the point what could I do.
I decided that i'd cut down no more spirits only lager,that would sort it even anounced to the wife, You watch i'll change ! Sure I did change, she only ever saw me drinking lager in the house and couldn't understand why I still got pissed after only a few tins. The truth bieng that yes I'd changed into a liar,drinking half of vodka in the van before even I got home,and then making any exuse to go out and buy another half and drink that on the sly either in the garage or the shed. Like you Tosh I was starting to feel cr*p. I'd got to break the cycle of lying about my drinking & drinking because of my lying.In shear desperation I phoned AA and was at a meeting the following night.What a relief it was to find out that there were other people just like me and I wasnt alone.
That was 2 years ago now and sure its been hard trying to live in a programe and i've slipped back to drink at times,but they gave some tools for living and I try to use them in all situations.
One things for sure my family are happier than I can ever remember and works good to. So if this Brummie Alcoholic can make it change theres no reason why you cant.
Good luck Tosh you can do it,just a day at a time.
__________________________________________

Phew !!!! where did that come from. ( sorry for the long share )
__________________________________________________ ____
keeping the four horsemen away
just for today

Tosh

Hi guys,

Firstly, thanks all for the kind words of encouragement; it's good to read other people's stories and know that I'm not some 'weakling'.

But I'm still drinking, far too much for my liking and I don't know how to break the cycle.

So this afternoon I've made an appointment with the doctor and it's on Wed 13th June at 5.20 pm.

I haven't told my Missis (that's 'my wife' for you Americans) as I don't want to make it into an issue; not yet anyway. I'm sure you can guess the reasons why.

I'm hoping he'll dish out those tablets that make you sick if you drink alcohol!

Has anyone tried them?

I feel a 'bit nervous' (that's British understatement for you Americans) about not drinking though. I reckon I'll be really 'ratty' (that means 'bad tempered' for you Americans) and not be to sleep and stuff.

How will I cope?

Regards,

Tosh

Rowan

Tosh,

It's good to see you. I'm glad you'll be seeing the doctor to discuss your drinking. It's a good first step. I haven't used Antabuse (that's what you Brits call tablets that make you sick from drinking lol) or Campral (another tablet) , but others will be along who, I'm sure, have. Good luck! Please keep posting.

Rowan
(like Mrs. Bean!)

Taztastic

Hi Tosh

I was really apprehensive about how I would cope without alcohol, I was so anxious that I would not make it 24 hours. Believe me although I am still very new to this (only 16 days) it does get easier. I think seeing the quack is definately the best move especially if you have been drinking very heavily as withdrawal need not be painful with the right medication. I spoke to my Doc re Antabuse and they were quite reluctant to prescribe them - all cases will be different of course but I think that they sometimes see Antabuse as a fairly drastic option and may well offer you valium or similar to help you over the withdrawal.

What the hell am I jawing on about - I am not medically qualified! Go and see the quack mate I am sure that they will know best! Good luck - let us know how you get on

bryankicks

tosh.
keep you chin up. you can do this.

Jules62

Hi Tosh! Welcome!I'm really glad you're here and that going to see a doctor-that's great.

In one of your posts here, you said-"The thing is, I'm functioning quite well the way I am; even though I've been a heavy, heavy drinker for around 15 years now." and I'm sorry-but I laughed-(not in a mean way-but simply because you reminded me of myself when I was drinking)

How is getting drunk and not being able to relate intimately with your wife 'functioning quite well'?It's the alcoholic mind telling you lies-and I'm only saying this because I did it so often.It's just a load of bollocks!(English term for ya!But I'm a kiwi-so I understand!)

My mind still plays tricks on me-and I am not long sober.

I couldn't picture a happy life without alcohol either-and hell-I still have days when I struggle to believe it's going to be better, but there are so many here who assure me it does and I choose to believe them because they've been through this and understand the process so well.

I can't think about it in terms of 'the rest of my life without alcohol' because that would drive me insane.I think of it as a day to day thing.Today I'm not drinking-and I DO feel better.Waking up without a hangover and not needing to run to the bathroom to throw up these past 10 days has been a wonderful thing.I have more energy and can remember things I used to forget because of the alcohol.It's early days for me but I just wanted to encourage you, because I, too couldn't see myself being happy without it-but already I am seeing I can.

Oh-and 'cutting down' never worked for me.I tried many times but the truth for me is-if I have one-I'll have 10/15/20.I simply cannot pick up.

Anyway-good luck at the doctors and I'm glad you joined us.Keep posting and read the stickies here-they really helped me when I first joined.You'll have lots of support here,

Kind regards,

Rose.

calabash

Tosh, taking pills to stop drinking is possible. In my case the reason for my drugging and drinking was more deep rooted. My inablility to have fun, face life etc withoput using mind altering substances was the a deep routed problem.
My point is - if you take the pills, and break the cycle of your daily drinking what then?

In my case I had to replace that habit with a new set of tools for living on lifes terms. I found those tools in the rooms of NA and AA. Not saying you gotta find them there, just saying where I found them
Abstaining from alcohol or drugs is not the same as recovering.

I hope your doctor is abler to help you. Well done for making the appointment.

Good luck with the journey to being who you truly are.

Tosh

Cheers guys; I appreciate the kind words; and I will see the doc on Wednesday - no excuses.

Tosh

Hi guys,

It's been nearly two years since I posted my original post. I just carried on drinking! The doctor wasn't much help. She took a blood test and felt my liver to see if it was enlarged. The blood test was okay; I assume; because I didn't hear anything back about it and I was referred to a councillor.

I had one meeting with the councillor who tried to find out why I drank so much everyday; and then came up with a tapering off plan which just didn't work. I'd drink a bit less than usual for a while, only to drink more a bit later.

Anyway, I didn't exactly hit 'rock bottom', I was just sick and tired of being sick and tired; as they say. I woke up last Monday morning with my daily hang-over and thought I've got to do something about this.

It's not been easy; I've been full of anxiety, angst, not been able to sleep, with short periouds of euphoria and happiness because I'm full of hope, followed by bouts of depression because it's 'drinking time' and I'm not. I've even cried. And all these feelings in one day; it's been ruddy awful.

Anyway, I've now been sober for five days, I've been to two f2f AA meetings; hell, I've even volunteered to take over the coffee duties, just to make sure I turn up (I have to transport all the cups and associated paraphanalia to the AA Meeting, since the room is used for other purposes at other times, so I've GOT to go, otherwise they'll get no coffee).

I've got the Big Book, I'm even reading it!!! And I'll start the steps as soon as I reach each stage in the book. I'll do them as quickly and as thoroughly as I can.

How good am I?

Anyway, thank you for your kinds words, even though I was drunk when I wrote the initial post, but something you lot said must've transferred through to the fog that is my brain.

Thank you!

Tosh.

Hevyn

The good news is, you never have to go back to that horrible state again, Tosh. I hadn't arrived at SR when you were first here, so we haven't met. I drank for over 25 yrs. and my SR family got me off of alcohol and kept me off. Having company - people who really understood - was huge to me. I was so alone with it, no one in my life had a problem, and didn't get why I couldn't "just say no". I had a similar situation when I visited a doctor for help with quitting. He asked what was wrong at home that made me need to drink. Apparently, many doctors aren't equipped to deal with alcoholism. I ended up white-knuckling it on my own, & it was a rough withdrawal - so I commend you for making it through that trauma.

I'm so glad you came back here. These are remarkable and wise people with a great sense of humor. I was so afraid it would be all doom, gloom, and lectures. I don't know what would happen without my daily dose of encouragement and inspiration. Please let us know how it's going for you.

sailorjohn

Wow, glad to see you made it back. See a lot of folks at AA meetings that have court papers signed, after a period you never see them again, great to see someone make it back!

Dee74

always sounds weird to say this here, but...good to see you back Tosh

D

flutter

I'm glad you're here, welcome back