Question about counting days?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: FRIENDSWOOD, TEXAS
Posts: 500
Question about counting days?
I know I messed up and drank on Sunday and Monday and instead of counting today as day 1 and starting over, can I count today as day 34, in other words skip the 2 days I drank? I was on Women in recovery and there was someone who drank one day and she said she was gonna skip that day and continue counting, it is ok to do that? any comments or answers to this question.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: California
Posts: 972
You don't have to count days.. unless you are either in AA or just plain like to count days!! If you're in AA and intentionally grab for that drink you're gonna be asked to reset your sobriety days. But hey, a month without drinking is still one CLEAN month so don't let the numbers get you down..You've still got your clean time but because you slipped those days are not continueous... But which ever way you want to think nothing will take away those clean days you've aqquired! Be proud of them and chalk the slip up to experience.
I wanted to be clean for one year before I would even allow the tinyest thought of a slip into my head... I didn't drink when my best friend died and I limited my time to help take care of her because I had to put my sobriety first. It was painful.. still is. But she was a drinker and I knew if I spent time with her during her last days I would surrender to her bottle of wine.
Some don't count days at all.. it surely isn't a requirement unless you want to pick up those chips at your local AA meetings.
I wanted to be clean for one year before I would even allow the tinyest thought of a slip into my head... I didn't drink when my best friend died and I limited my time to help take care of her because I had to put my sobriety first. It was painful.. still is. But she was a drinker and I knew if I spent time with her during her last days I would surrender to her bottle of wine.
Some don't count days at all.. it surely isn't a requirement unless you want to pick up those chips at your local AA meetings.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
Hi this is Sharon and Im an Alcoholic.
First I want u to know that im a friend in recovery and so when i write you like this, i hope that you dont take anything said as an offense. ok? I know that many dont like to be told what to do or called down for doing something wrong because i surely dont. If that makes sense?
First of all...just think about this...deep down inside.....how do u feel about the slip you had? Does it bother you? We have all put in our own 2 cents about if it were us that had gone out or taken that sip in the grocery store.
Now it has to be from you. If deep down inside , you feel like you have done nothing wrong, then continue counting ur days....if u feel like the slip did set u back....start over with a clean slate....at least ur conscience will be cleared.
You have to be able to live with urself. With the decision you've made, because if u r not happy with it then u will use it as an excuse later on down the road to drink again.
Like so many that have slipped and have recognized what had happened and are willing to try again...so can you.
Just go with ur gut feeling....if u listen to ur gut...like i tell myself and kids..then it cant steer u wrong.
I hope this helps.....
And like always, this is my own opinion and suggestion and thoughts.....take what u want if anything and leave the rest....
Im still here for you as a recovery friend if u need me.
First I want u to know that im a friend in recovery and so when i write you like this, i hope that you dont take anything said as an offense. ok? I know that many dont like to be told what to do or called down for doing something wrong because i surely dont. If that makes sense?
First of all...just think about this...deep down inside.....how do u feel about the slip you had? Does it bother you? We have all put in our own 2 cents about if it were us that had gone out or taken that sip in the grocery store.
Now it has to be from you. If deep down inside , you feel like you have done nothing wrong, then continue counting ur days....if u feel like the slip did set u back....start over with a clean slate....at least ur conscience will be cleared.
You have to be able to live with urself. With the decision you've made, because if u r not happy with it then u will use it as an excuse later on down the road to drink again.
Like so many that have slipped and have recognized what had happened and are willing to try again...so can you.
Just go with ur gut feeling....if u listen to ur gut...like i tell myself and kids..then it cant steer u wrong.
I hope this helps.....
And like always, this is my own opinion and suggestion and thoughts.....take what u want if anything and leave the rest....
Im still here for you as a recovery friend if u need me.
*~10 YEARS BABY~*
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Hollywood
Posts: 9,369
I'm going to say the same thing I did last time, this is a decision we can't make for yourself. I think you got A LOT of ideas, opinions, and perspectives from the last post about this.
It seems like a dangerous trap to get into, claiming you have *** days, minus the ones you drank.
Your asking us permission is it okay to do because someone else did it, and again, I think for the most part your going to get the same answers, maybe a bit more harsh this time.
I hope you don't let this day stuff get in your way of recovery itself.
Good to see you back! :-)
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 782
i know i really have no business putting my two cents in, but i don't think i've ever done what i thought i should do, lol
A couple weeks ago i took some tramadrol.....my addiction counselor who has several years sobriety herself tells me that's not a relapse and that i don't need to start over, you know get a white chip. BUT, in my eyes it was a deliberate attempt to get high.....i didn't know tramadol was non-narcotic, but the intention was there and therefore i decided to start over. A lot of good it did me because now i'm back into a full blown addiction, alcohol, xanax, phenedrine. But, i guess what i'm saying is......it's a matter of personal choice....can you continue counting days (less the days you drank) and still feel you're being honest with yourself?
A couple weeks ago i took some tramadrol.....my addiction counselor who has several years sobriety herself tells me that's not a relapse and that i don't need to start over, you know get a white chip. BUT, in my eyes it was a deliberate attempt to get high.....i didn't know tramadol was non-narcotic, but the intention was there and therefore i decided to start over. A lot of good it did me because now i'm back into a full blown addiction, alcohol, xanax, phenedrine. But, i guess what i'm saying is......it's a matter of personal choice....can you continue counting days (less the days you drank) and still feel you're being honest with yourself?
~ 5 ~
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Colorado
Posts: 305
I truly think if you did "skip" those days and keep going from 34 it would eat at you everytime you said "i have this many days".
There is nothing wrong with starting over I dont think anyless of ya if that helps, because i know that could be me anyday!
There is nothing wrong with starting over I dont think anyless of ya if that helps, because i know that could be me anyday!
*~10 YEARS BABY~*
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Hollywood
Posts: 9,369
and it makes me feel good when I can add another day on.
Part of our addiction is based on 'feel good' feelings.
You are the only one who can hold yourself accountable on being truthful.
Just my .2 cents (yet again)
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: St. Louis MO
Posts: 396
I can't stand counting hte days. makes me nervous and this is exactly why.
I don't get it. If you don't drink for 34 days and you drink on the 35 day. Why would you have to start over.
Heres' my sick way of thining. If you don't drink for 34 days and you get wasted for 34 consecutive days, then start over.
My goodness if you have a car accident should you turn your licensen in and start all over. Heck if you get one F in class does that mean you take the entire course over when you had straight A's all the other time.
I don't like counting makes me nervous.
I quit counting when I turned 40.
Congrats on 34 days.
See ya.
I don't get it. If you don't drink for 34 days and you drink on the 35 day. Why would you have to start over.
Heres' my sick way of thining. If you don't drink for 34 days and you get wasted for 34 consecutive days, then start over.
My goodness if you have a car accident should you turn your licensen in and start all over. Heck if you get one F in class does that mean you take the entire course over when you had straight A's all the other time.
I don't like counting makes me nervous.
I quit counting when I turned 40.
Congrats on 34 days.
See ya.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,502
I think you still have a sober month to be proud of.
But, in my opinion, you have not been in recovery for a month. But, drinking/using is not part of the recovery process. The thought processes that go on, the mental part involved, before you take that one glass of wine are SO significant. That's where recovery takes place.
But, in my opinion, you have not been in recovery for a month. But, drinking/using is not part of the recovery process. The thought processes that go on, the mental part involved, before you take that one glass of wine are SO significant. That's where recovery takes place.
JUST DO IT!!
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Here Or There
Posts: 7,612
My name is Vic and I am an addict. These question that you are asking us, may I ask why you want opinions on it? You know from the last thread that you started that you are going to get all sorts of opinions. Personally it doesn't matter to me what you do! I once heard that if you want to drink that is your business, if you want to get sober and stay sober than that is our business.
If we can not be totally honest about our sobriety, than what can we be honest about. The honest has to start in order to even begin to recover. I think that I stated that in the last 4 or 5 years that I have only used 78 times or whatever. Well that is sure a huge amount of progress for a junkie like me, but I don't say that I have 4 years minus 78 days. I am not even sure how many days that I have unless I go to the Don't Quit Thread and add them up. However when it is the 25th of the Month I know about where I am.
I would have to ask you this question. "How important is it compared to my emotional sobriety." My emotional sobriety is probably the most important thing for me, because if I am not emotionally content then I am on the road to a downfall. And Vic doesn't want to go back to that. Anyways count if you want, but the thing is it isn't the alcohol it is in fact our emotional sobriety that I like.
I think I might have over 100 and some days but none of those days are going to help me get through today. Today I had different things that I had to face, different situations that I had to deal with. I used the same solution but it is always different. And remember this take what you want and leave the rest.
Love Vic
PS Hope that you find peace within yourself
If we can not be totally honest about our sobriety, than what can we be honest about. The honest has to start in order to even begin to recover. I think that I stated that in the last 4 or 5 years that I have only used 78 times or whatever. Well that is sure a huge amount of progress for a junkie like me, but I don't say that I have 4 years minus 78 days. I am not even sure how many days that I have unless I go to the Don't Quit Thread and add them up. However when it is the 25th of the Month I know about where I am.
I would have to ask you this question. "How important is it compared to my emotional sobriety." My emotional sobriety is probably the most important thing for me, because if I am not emotionally content then I am on the road to a downfall. And Vic doesn't want to go back to that. Anyways count if you want, but the thing is it isn't the alcohol it is in fact our emotional sobriety that I like.
I think I might have over 100 and some days but none of those days are going to help me get through today. Today I had different things that I had to face, different situations that I had to deal with. I used the same solution but it is always different. And remember this take what you want and leave the rest.
Love Vic
PS Hope that you find peace within yourself
NOT EVEN 1 CLUB!!
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: When I find myself, I'll let you know!
Posts: 1,835
Here's the way most people (including me) count days of sobriety.
My days are consecutive days of not consuming alcohol. If I knowing drink alcohol, then I am back a day 1. No matter what the amount. It has been said many times here, it is our thought processes!!
For me, there is no question. You are at day 1. It's simple. You drink, you start over. However, this is your sobriety and you can do what you want. Do not expect people to congratulate you on 60 days, 90 days, etc. if they are not consecutive. That is not how it is done.
Alcoholism is a very serious thing. It is a life or death thing. It is not to be taken lightly. My suggestion, from my experience is start the days over. You will think twice before you knowingly pick up a drink again. You will know what it feels like to start over. It is not fun. It made me feel like crap. But that's exactly what I needed to feel like to learn the lesson.
The answer to the question is -Start over!! Later, you will be thankful that you did. A lesson is here to be learned.
My days are consecutive days of not consuming alcohol. If I knowing drink alcohol, then I am back a day 1. No matter what the amount. It has been said many times here, it is our thought processes!!
For me, there is no question. You are at day 1. It's simple. You drink, you start over. However, this is your sobriety and you can do what you want. Do not expect people to congratulate you on 60 days, 90 days, etc. if they are not consecutive. That is not how it is done.
Alcoholism is a very serious thing. It is a life or death thing. It is not to be taken lightly. My suggestion, from my experience is start the days over. You will think twice before you knowingly pick up a drink again. You will know what it feels like to start over. It is not fun. It made me feel like crap. But that's exactly what I needed to feel like to learn the lesson.
The answer to the question is -Start over!! Later, you will be thankful that you did. A lesson is here to be learned.
Baby Steps
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: San Antonio, TX
Posts: 12
I am an alcoholic and I am on my 4th day of sobriety.
If I "slip up" then I start over. It's a matter of being honest with MYSELF and nobody else. I am doing this for me, not for SR or San Antonio, or even the world. Why lie to myself, and hope I get advice from SR to justify it.
Like you said, you are not in AA, so you are accountable for yourself. It was a hard weekend to stay sober, believe me, I understand. You will make it through, you have nothing but time.
We are still here for you, whatever you decide to do. And that is what is important! Keep your head up, and learn from it.
We arent going anywhere!!!
If I "slip up" then I start over. It's a matter of being honest with MYSELF and nobody else. I am doing this for me, not for SR or San Antonio, or even the world. Why lie to myself, and hope I get advice from SR to justify it.
Like you said, you are not in AA, so you are accountable for yourself. It was a hard weekend to stay sober, believe me, I understand. You will make it through, you have nothing but time.
We are still here for you, whatever you decide to do. And that is what is important! Keep your head up, and learn from it.
We arent going anywhere!!!
JUST DO IT!!
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Here Or There
Posts: 7,612
Here I am sharing my ESH (Experience, Strength, And HOPE)
My name is Vic and I am an addict. I am probably dang lucky to be here clean that is for sure. I got sober and clean on January 4 2002 well a few times before also but anyways. I went to a meeting on the 15 day of January, it was a speaker meeting, I introduced myself as a alcoholic and I looked at the steps on the wall and knew that I was at step 4
. I relapsed on January 19, of that year.
I started to do meetings everyday and I relapsed again of May 19, 2002 I was only out for one day. When January came they asked me to speak at a speakers meeting and sure why not. I had proclaimed that I was clean since January 19, 2002 this was in 2003. After the speaker meeting my sponsor pulled me aside and said "What the hell are you talking about being clean since January you went out in May. I said yes but it was only a little bit of dope so I don't count that. He said Vic you have to start over. I got mad at him for telling me this that I talked about it at AA meetings for about a month. I had opinions from everyone there, yes no, yes no, yes no, but I had to be the one to decide.
I went to a meeting the next day and said that my sobriety date was the 19 of May. I swallowed my pride (false pride) and I humbled myself to the point of not knowing anything. I stayed clean for almost two years that time. Anyway a few months went by and I kept saying how it doesn't matter the amount that you take if you take anything that was mind or mood altering that isn't prescribed (such as Anti-D's) then you have to start your time over. A lady spoke up and said that she took A DRINK a few months after her sobriety date and never started her time over. Yet she felt as if she should after what happened to me.
Today this lady has 6 or 7 years clean time. Sober she never did dope but the point is that she knew in her heart that she had messed up. So anyway I guess that I am done. Thanks for letting me share
Love Vic
My name is Vic and I am an addict. I am probably dang lucky to be here clean that is for sure. I got sober and clean on January 4 2002 well a few times before also but anyways. I went to a meeting on the 15 day of January, it was a speaker meeting, I introduced myself as a alcoholic and I looked at the steps on the wall and knew that I was at step 4
. I relapsed on January 19, of that year. I started to do meetings everyday and I relapsed again of May 19, 2002 I was only out for one day. When January came they asked me to speak at a speakers meeting and sure why not. I had proclaimed that I was clean since January 19, 2002 this was in 2003. After the speaker meeting my sponsor pulled me aside and said "What the hell are you talking about being clean since January you went out in May. I said yes but it was only a little bit of dope so I don't count that. He said Vic you have to start over. I got mad at him for telling me this that I talked about it at AA meetings for about a month. I had opinions from everyone there, yes no, yes no, yes no, but I had to be the one to decide.
I went to a meeting the next day and said that my sobriety date was the 19 of May. I swallowed my pride (false pride) and I humbled myself to the point of not knowing anything. I stayed clean for almost two years that time. Anyway a few months went by and I kept saying how it doesn't matter the amount that you take if you take anything that was mind or mood altering that isn't prescribed (such as Anti-D's) then you have to start your time over. A lady spoke up and said that she took A DRINK a few months after her sobriety date and never started her time over. Yet she felt as if she should after what happened to me.
Today this lady has 6 or 7 years clean time. Sober she never did dope but the point is that she knew in her heart that she had messed up. So anyway I guess that I am done. Thanks for letting me share
Love Vic
Last edited by Luckyv2; 09-05-2006 at 06:50 PM.
everything is already ok
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Melbourne Victoria Australia
Posts: 19,793
Originally Posted by NEEDTOBESOBER
I know I messed up and drank on Sunday and Monday and instead of counting today as day 1 and starting over, can I count today as day 34, in other words skip the 2 days I drank? I was on Women in recovery and there was someone who drank one day and she said she was gonna skip that day and continue counting, it is ok to do that? any comments or answers to this question.
I suggest you hold your days in your hand do a little dance, throw them up in the air and when they land see them as reset to day 1 and move on with your recovery.
Kevin
PS When reading these responses remember you asked for them twice now. I have a sneaking suspicion that you already have your answer.
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