FallGirl

so everyone here can probably tell when i relapse, because i stop posting for a few days... i feel like a failure

i justified drinking again because of events in my life. my birthday was a few days ago, so had to drink then, and then yesterday we had to attend a funeral which made me sad, so better have a drink!
i wish i could package this feeling of anxiety and physical discomfort, then when i feel like i need a drink, you could open it and it would make you feel that way for maybe 3 minutes and when it wore off you would remember why you stopped drinking in the first place!

i need to be strong again, i did it before for 16 days and i can do it again! I WANT TO FEEL GOOD AGAIN!

thanks for listening!

FallGirl

Smyle

You can do it....just a relapse....they make us stronger !!!!

Fred

Hey FallGirl.....don't beat yourself up. It's not easy. I'm hoping I make it through today, day 8 after blowing it at only day 4. I hope I make it through our bright sunshiny PNW winter! I guess we know about that, don't we?
We can do it...a moment at a time.
Fred

Candy Scratch

(((((FallGirl))))) At least you are BACK at Day 1, which is where you should be and where you need to be and where you want to be, right?

Setbacks occur. This THING is strong as hell, but you are stronger. Get right back on the wagon and sit tight.

Happy belated birthday by the way. Are you a Virgo? My birthday is tomorrow and I'm already resigned for a rotten one. My dear brother is in ICU thanks to this wretched disease. His birthday is on Sept. 25 and he may not even see it--thanks to what alchol has done to him.

Every year on my birthday we go to the CNE (Canadian National Exhibition) and I really feel odd about going tomorrow. My kids want to, but I feel like crawling into a cave instead. To top it off I'm nursing some sort of virus that has entered my sinuses.

I'm so glad you are back here and back to business. 16 days was AWESOME. You can meet that and exceed it, Fallgirl. I know you can.

Hugs,
CandyScratch

NYCGirl

Hi Fallgirl,

I did it I had some drinks around day 21, and I didn't even have a reason. I just felt like it. afer all I never need a reason to drink before any way that was June 30th I think.. so I started over on July 1st and here I am it's almost September first. Not that it was I good thing to do but I think kinda helped me get over the physical thing. It aactully been easier this time around. I have my ups and downs, but more ups than downs.

Hang in there it will work out

FallGirl

i also did something i was really afraid to do, i emailed a friend of mine, and told her about my alcohol problem. it was one of the hardest things i've ever done, and i'm waiting to hear back from her. she was my best friend at one point, we've been really tight ever since highschool, but i let alcohol take control and cut everyone out including her.
i did it because yesterday we went to the funeral of one of my husbands best friends, they had grown up together, and my hubby hadn't talked to him for the last few years. needless to say he's feeling very upset and guilty about not seeing his friend, and now he's gone. and so many other of his friends were there, and they hadn't seen each other in so long! i just don't want to not talk with her and then go to her funeral in a few years, or one of our friends and feel that pain my hubby is going through now.
also it was just really hard to admit to someone that i'm an alcoholic. my husband obviously knows because he lives with me, but she's the first other person i've told. i don't know how she'll react, but she deserves to know the truth on why i abruptly cut her out of my life.
wow.... it feels good to get this all out, again thanks everyone for listening!

Candy - yes i am a virgo! and i'm very sorry to about your brother, i'll add him in my prayers tonight!



FallGirl

Candy Scratch

FallGirl,
That was a very brave thing you did by emailing your friend. ANd I hope very much that your friend has the wher
ewithall to be honest and fair with you. It IS scary not knowing how people will react. I totally understand that. My heart is with you in anticipation. I hope your friend comes through.

Please keep us posted. Lots of love to you, doll.

Hugs,
Candy scratch

StrongR2Day

I'm glad you're back. You can do this.

regrad

you're alive...today that's good enough

welcome back...


j.

Ngokpa

It's not good to drink, but giving yourself a hard time about it doesn't help. Finding new ways to deal with emotions doesn't happen overnight.

Glad you're back.

FallGirl

you know the thing is i KNEW I WAS GONNA DRINK! as soon as i found out when the funeral was, i knew i was gonna drink that day - i used it as an excuse and planned it in advance. that is a sure way to sabotage myself, i do that all the time though, i justify it in my head, and then it seems once i've decided, i can't change my mind no matter what. i need to try "one day at a time" again.
any advice out there on how to stop the "planning" for drinking?
thanks!

FallGirl

michski

For some of us sobriety is a process.. it was for me. You're here and you've made a good beginning. Time to brush yourself off and start again. You've at least not hurt your body for 16 days and that IS something to feel good about.

2dayzmuse

Nothing changes if nothing changes...

scootinbabe

welcome back! we missed you! you are doing all the right things. coming here...emailing a friend--i haven't gotten the nerve to tell anyone except husband. that is a BIG deal! .

you can do this. i know you can. don't beat yourself up and take it one day at a time from today! keep coming back!

Hope

The only time people fail is when they give up trying.

Don't give up the fight. Keep the hope alive and grab on to it.

That misery is not worth it. There will always be excuses and reasons to drink but the key is to find alternative ways of handling things and coping with life.

It is better to be on day 1 than to still be out there drinking and not even trying at all. Keep coming back sweetie!

nogard

the fact that you got back is important.

Kevin

BLackshirt

You slipped, now you gotta get abck up, dust yourself off and start working on it again. Don't let it get you down, we are all human and destined to mess up. The key is learning from those little mis-haps so that we don't repeat them. Hang in there!

Scott

2dayzmuse

I used to plan my drinking also. I think most of us sabotage ourselves. It seems to be the way it is for us. The only way you can stop the cycle of planning, drinking and feeling guilty is to gain some skills to learn how not to. Most of us need to work on some form of recovery. Lord knows I couldn't quit on my own. I just couldn't do it. I didn't know how. My desire to drink was much stronger then my will to stop. My desire always won out. I sought help from those who had already knew how to quit. I didn't always like what I had to hear, but I learned and continued to listen. They must have know what they were talking about, because I haven't wanted to drink since I made the commitment to stop.

Dreamz

FallGirl

Dreamz - thank for that one! I needed a laugh!

FallGirl