Dry Drunk
~ 5 ~
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Colorado
Posts: 305
Dry Drunk
What is wrong with me today, 
.........I am reading all these posts of seemingly supportive but taking them wrong and thinking alot of people are coming off as snobbish a$$holes and looking down off their soap boxes and im getting pissed.
I feel like i have reached that part of drunkiness ....you know when all is great and one word can set you off into a drunken rage.
It is day 73 ......each day a milestone and each tomorrow looking to be a good day but why today what is wrong with me i am so mad and want to throw stuff and YES i want to drink, for the first time in so long I want to grab a beer and forget the whole thing, ya know the mind frame.."i wasnt that bad"........YEAH RIGHT!!!!
arrrrrrgh.
Please tell me it will pass that you have been there......please.
.........I am reading all these posts of seemingly supportive but taking them wrong and thinking alot of people are coming off as snobbish a$$holes and looking down off their soap boxes and im getting pissed.I feel like i have reached that part of drunkiness ....you know when all is great and one word can set you off into a drunken rage.
It is day 73 ......each day a milestone and each tomorrow looking to be a good day but why today what is wrong with me i am so mad and want to throw stuff and YES i want to drink, for the first time in so long I want to grab a beer and forget the whole thing, ya know the mind frame.."i wasnt that bad"........YEAH RIGHT!!!!
arrrrrrgh.
Please tell me it will pass that you have been there......please.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Indiana
Posts: 693
Krys..you sound like me on Friday. : ( I wish I could say something to cheer you up, but you may have noticed by now I'm not the most eloquent on this site!! I'm here for ya, as I know you'll be there for me the next time I feel like that! Which, with my perimenopausal mood swings could be any moment!! Cheer up and try to find something to do that makes you happy. I just baked a cake. Making it made me happy, eating it later will pi$$ me off!! Which reminds me...I've lost 0 pounds since I quit drinking. Yeah that's right 0!!! Ok, this is obviously NOT going to cheer you up....Sorry, didn't mean to dump on you when you're down. But I DO care! Keep your chin up!!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,465
It will pass Krys and I was angry off and on for a long time too. Actually I think most of my anger was directed at myself for making such a mess of my life, for allowing addiction to happen to me. I had to go through a process of accepting that and moving on.
It's possible too, that you're frustrated with the 'foreverness' of the situation. Sometimes, early on, you can have lots of motivation and it's all new and exciting and feels so much better. But, then the motivation can fade and you have to begin to learn to deal with daily life without some kind of medication.
Main thing is hang on and you'll get through it.
It's possible too, that you're frustrated with the 'foreverness' of the situation. Sometimes, early on, you can have lots of motivation and it's all new and exciting and feels so much better. But, then the motivation can fade and you have to begin to learn to deal with daily life without some kind of medication.
Main thing is hang on and you'll get through it.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Plymouth, MN
Posts: 960
Congrats on day 73!!!!
Sorry you are feeling so frustrated. Those moods can be hard to figure out and deal with. I found that it is helpful to do something physical when I am feeling like that -- ride bike, go for a walk/run.... There is a lot of "energy" in those feelings and it really helps to find a "release" for them rather than picking up. The feelings will pass -- and you will be sooooo grateful you didn't pick up.
Hang in there ((Krys)) -- you can do this.
Sorry you are feeling so frustrated. Those moods can be hard to figure out and deal with. I found that it is helpful to do something physical when I am feeling like that -- ride bike, go for a walk/run.... There is a lot of "energy" in those feelings and it really helps to find a "release" for them rather than picking up. The feelings will pass -- and you will be sooooo grateful you didn't pick up.
Hang in there ((Krys)) -- you can do this.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Ohio
Posts: 859
Krys....I totally understand how your feeling. And you are right, it will pass. How is your weather there today? Is it a good day for a ride? I remember when I felt like you are feeling right now, I would saddle up and go for a good hard fast ride and wear myself out. Then I would look around at all the beautiful surroundings and things would be better.......just a thought.
Hang in there ok? Stay strong! Congrats on your days so far, you are doing AWESOME!!!!!! Please dont drink today, take it from a total screw up back on day one......it isnt worth it!
Liss
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,234
73 days sober is nothing to sneeze at. Thats a number of one days at a time collected to get you where u r today.
Hi Im Sharon and Im an alcoholic.
I too find it hard to read some of the post in here. I know that we r reading words with out any kind of emotions or sounds set to them....they r words written by many using their own thoughts and expressions or feelings......
Thats why when i went to face to face meetings...f2f meetings....when u sit amongst other members, listening to them share, seeing their expressions in person....hearing their joys, anger, frustration, etc....u get the full affect of what recovery is all about.
I try not draw any kind of conclusion from the shares and post i read except that they r by caring people, showing concern, compassion.
When i share, i may be laughing or smiling inside as i type but u have no idea that that is exactly what i am doing right now. Unless I show u a smiley symbol.... : ) Then u know that im smiling with u.
Anyway...im glad u r here sharing with me and others.
The roller-coaster ride of emotions will begin to lessen as times goes on and u stay sober. When those crazy feeling pop up then instead of sitting there thinking about it...do something to get ur mind off of it.....
Like for me..i recall hearing many times to......DON'T THINK...DONT DRINK AND GO TO MEETINGS.
I was glad i had my kids when i got sober because i knew i had a responsibility to get them to school on time, to help them with homework, get then to their after school activities. I also enjoyed baking things for all my meetings back in Baton Rouge for the first 6 yrs before moving here to Houston.
Today....i feel alone here without my AA support and family from back home....i know i should have thrown myself even harder into recovery here, but i didnt. I keep thinking i will return home one day after this long extended vacation of 10 yrs ive been on.
Anyway....i have always been connected to AA here online, but just found SR this past Dec. I have shared here more so than any f2f meeting i ever attended.
Even tho face to face meetings are very much important in early recovery and should be just as important in our everyday lives if we want to continue to stay sober....this online SR place is just an extension of my recovery.
Anyway....hang in there and if u ever not understand something ive posted please feel free to message me..i wont mind it at all. Thats what we all are suppose to be here for....helping each other as we all learn to stay clean and sober one day at a time by sharing our own ESH with each other.
Thanks for letting me share.
Hi Im Sharon and Im an alcoholic.
I too find it hard to read some of the post in here. I know that we r reading words with out any kind of emotions or sounds set to them....they r words written by many using their own thoughts and expressions or feelings......
Thats why when i went to face to face meetings...f2f meetings....when u sit amongst other members, listening to them share, seeing their expressions in person....hearing their joys, anger, frustration, etc....u get the full affect of what recovery is all about.
I try not draw any kind of conclusion from the shares and post i read except that they r by caring people, showing concern, compassion.
When i share, i may be laughing or smiling inside as i type but u have no idea that that is exactly what i am doing right now. Unless I show u a smiley symbol.... : ) Then u know that im smiling with u.
Anyway...im glad u r here sharing with me and others.
The roller-coaster ride of emotions will begin to lessen as times goes on and u stay sober. When those crazy feeling pop up then instead of sitting there thinking about it...do something to get ur mind off of it.....
Like for me..i recall hearing many times to......DON'T THINK...DONT DRINK AND GO TO MEETINGS.
I was glad i had my kids when i got sober because i knew i had a responsibility to get them to school on time, to help them with homework, get then to their after school activities. I also enjoyed baking things for all my meetings back in Baton Rouge for the first 6 yrs before moving here to Houston.
Today....i feel alone here without my AA support and family from back home....i know i should have thrown myself even harder into recovery here, but i didnt. I keep thinking i will return home one day after this long extended vacation of 10 yrs ive been on.
Anyway....i have always been connected to AA here online, but just found SR this past Dec. I have shared here more so than any f2f meeting i ever attended.
Even tho face to face meetings are very much important in early recovery and should be just as important in our everyday lives if we want to continue to stay sober....this online SR place is just an extension of my recovery.
Anyway....hang in there and if u ever not understand something ive posted please feel free to message me..i wont mind it at all. Thats what we all are suppose to be here for....helping each other as we all learn to stay clean and sober one day at a time by sharing our own ESH with each other.
Thanks for letting me share.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Krys
Perhaps this will be of interest...
link from my files on PAWS...
http://www.tlctx.com/ar_pages/paw_part1.htm
Blessings...
link from my files on PAWS...
http://www.tlctx.com/ar_pages/paw_part1.htm
Blessings...
~ 5 ~
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Colorado
Posts: 305
Thank you all for the encouragment and support.
That article was awesome Carol, i did not realize that was why my short term has gone to sh$t, i have felt like a child cause my mom has to call and remind me when my son has a chiroprator appointment and other things i need to do, not once she has to remind me often, even my kids are starting to remind me, and i feel like an idiot cause i will forget the slightest things.
90 days is 2 weeks away and that is a BIG deal for me, it is a season, a trimester, a 1/4 of a year, and i think it is also very scary thinking i have gone this long without drinking and i have made it without a slip, I guess i didnt realize i was strong enough and now i know i am and thats sad that i didnt know who i was enought to know my own strength.(i hope that makes sense)
Also i geuss i thought i was alone im my fight, and i may be the only one on my household going through this but i am not alone, i then thought of what my family is going through and what they have gone through, so regret, embarresment, guilt and overall saddness just grabed ahold of me yesterday.
Sharon nailed it saying it is a
roller-coaster ride of emotions it definatly is.
And Anna, yeah the foreverness is very scary, but if i ride out forever with the one i vowed to be with forever it will be ok and i will make it.
Yesterday my 9yr old said she was proud of me in front of 4 of her friends and they asked for what, she said "oh my mom just dont drink beer anymore" i felt so good.
I feel better today, but i was scared that alcohol might have won yesterday, but me and my friend and my kids went on a cleaning spree and the house looks great, so maybe i need those terrible days so the easy ones wont go by unnoticed.
Ill stop rambling now.....
thank you all for your support and for just being here. I think about all ya'll when im not on here and pray for those who arent here yet to join.
Have a great Sunday
That article was awesome Carol, i did not realize that was why my short term has gone to sh$t, i have felt like a child cause my mom has to call and remind me when my son has a chiroprator appointment and other things i need to do, not once she has to remind me often, even my kids are starting to remind me, and i feel like an idiot cause i will forget the slightest things.
90 days is 2 weeks away and that is a BIG deal for me, it is a season, a trimester, a 1/4 of a year, and i think it is also very scary thinking i have gone this long without drinking and i have made it without a slip, I guess i didnt realize i was strong enough and now i know i am and thats sad that i didnt know who i was enought to know my own strength.(i hope that makes sense)
Also i geuss i thought i was alone im my fight, and i may be the only one on my household going through this but i am not alone, i then thought of what my family is going through and what they have gone through, so regret, embarresment, guilt and overall saddness just grabed ahold of me yesterday.
Sharon nailed it saying it is a
roller-coaster ride of emotions it definatly is.And Anna, yeah the foreverness is very scary, but if i ride out forever with the one i vowed to be with forever it will be ok and i will make it.
Yesterday my 9yr old said she was proud of me in front of 4 of her friends and they asked for what, she said "oh my mom just dont drink beer anymore" i felt so good.
I feel better today, but i was scared that alcohol might have won yesterday, but me and my friend and my kids went on a cleaning spree and the house looks great, so maybe i need those terrible days so the easy ones wont go by unnoticed.
Ill stop rambling now.....
thank you all for your support and for just being here. I think about all ya'll when im not on here and pray for those who arent here yet to join.Have a great Sunday
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