a bad night
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 19
a bad night
I came here tonight hoping to find exactly what I found, and that is people going through the same thing I am. I want to drink really bad. I need someone to tell me that its ok (even though I know better) then I can blame someone. My husband works nights so my thing was always to drink a bottle of wine after he went to work. Tonight he left and I all but walked to the LQ. My seven year old daughter deserves better than me tonight. She doesnt understand why I wont get off the computer. Instead of walking out the door, I logged on here. I still dont think I have to confidence to go out socially. Sometimes I think I might be able to handle it but after tonight, I dont think so.
There is a work event for my husband that I want to go to, any suggestions on how to not drink when everyone else is?
There is a work event for my husband that I want to go to, any suggestions on how to not drink when everyone else is?
Naps are good.
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Ohio
Posts: 181
Welcome to SR.
Sorry you are having a bad night. Friday nites were always my worst nite for drinking. They are getting a bit easier though. I have about two months of sobriety.
Your daughter is lucky to have a mom like you who loves her! You can get better! You don't have to keep drinking. I know it seems hard right now to believe that, but it can get better. I was suicidal when I finally knew I had to quit drinking. Drinking relieved my pain for a couple of hours, but it always came back in gangbusters. A couple hours of relief is not worth the rest of the pain that alcohol causes.
Keep coming back to SR, and maybe try some AA meetings too.
As far as the event that you want to attend with your husband, that is a tough one. If you are newly sober and you think that you will be too tempted to drink at that event, then by all means do not go. It's better to turn down a few events the first few months than to risk blowing your sobriety. If you do decide to go, be sure to talk about it with your husband. Maybe he can offer to not drink alcohol that night so he can be supportive to you. I also find that drinking something sugary like pop/soda/juice can help with the cravings and also gives you a glass of something to hold in your hand while you talk to people.
I hope you have a better day tomorrow. Hang on to that ray of hope: it does get better. Hugs and prayers.
Sorry you are having a bad night. Friday nites were always my worst nite for drinking. They are getting a bit easier though. I have about two months of sobriety.
Your daughter is lucky to have a mom like you who loves her! You can get better! You don't have to keep drinking. I know it seems hard right now to believe that, but it can get better. I was suicidal when I finally knew I had to quit drinking. Drinking relieved my pain for a couple of hours, but it always came back in gangbusters. A couple hours of relief is not worth the rest of the pain that alcohol causes.
Keep coming back to SR, and maybe try some AA meetings too.
As far as the event that you want to attend with your husband, that is a tough one. If you are newly sober and you think that you will be too tempted to drink at that event, then by all means do not go. It's better to turn down a few events the first few months than to risk blowing your sobriety. If you do decide to go, be sure to talk about it with your husband. Maybe he can offer to not drink alcohol that night so he can be supportive to you. I also find that drinking something sugary like pop/soda/juice can help with the cravings and also gives you a glass of something to hold in your hand while you talk to people.
I hope you have a better day tomorrow. Hang on to that ray of hope: it does get better. Hugs and prayers.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: planet of apes
Posts: 40
Hi
I never drink on workplace related gatherings, I think it is very dangerous. You could ruin your husbands reputation if you, just like me, dont know how to stop.
You can say you are on a diet, but then you can't eat, and have to get full before you go there. This will make a very boring evening, and your husband will probably be surprised unless you are on a diet from time to time.
I always say "I just don't feel like it" and keep repeating the same "I don't, know, not today, I just don't feel like it" until they stop pushing.
My third version is to drink 1 drink, but then strictly leaving afterwards straightaway (tired/sick/have to go) and taking a taxi.
You can say you are on a diet, but then you can't eat, and have to get full before you go there. This will make a very boring evening, and your husband will probably be surprised unless you are on a diet from time to time.
I always say "I just don't feel like it" and keep repeating the same "I don't, know, not today, I just don't feel like it" until they stop pushing.
My third version is to drink 1 drink, but then strictly leaving afterwards straightaway (tired/sick/have to go) and taking a taxi.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: in a better place
Posts: 1,406
welcome to SR. Your daughter DOES deserve you because you love her so much that you are willing to face your demon and get better. I know it's hard to believe some of the stuff you'll read. When I first came here I felt hopeless, like the worst mom in the world and I wished my kids could have better. I told them that often and looking back I think that was very harmful, but hey, I can't undo the past. I can only show them that I'm trying very hard to be a good mom and they can see that now.
It's so great that you are reaching out for help. I hope you continue to read and post and look for help wherever you can. It may help to talk to someone in person too. In time you'll see that you are a caring mom, a loving wife, and a good person. The key is giving yourself that time and not giving up.
btw, I think I'd pass on the event unless it's something that YOU want to do (don't do if for anyone else). If you go, make sure your hub is on your side. I like the suggestion of asking him to not drink so that you don't feel "different". Every time you resist the urge to drink, you will get stronger.
It's so great that you are reaching out for help. I hope you continue to read and post and look for help wherever you can. It may help to talk to someone in person too. In time you'll see that you are a caring mom, a loving wife, and a good person. The key is giving yourself that time and not giving up.
btw, I think I'd pass on the event unless it's something that YOU want to do (don't do if for anyone else). If you go, make sure your hub is on your side. I like the suggestion of asking him to not drink so that you don't feel "different". Every time you resist the urge to drink, you will get stronger.
Trying to do the right thing.
Join Date: May 2006
Location: London
Posts: 4,345
Wandering Star, I do hope your now fast asleep, and tommarow is an easyer one for you...!
I can only say what worked for me... which was 1hr at a time to 1 day at a time...! Little steps... ...! you can do it if you really want it...!
Wishing you well...! ...
{diet cola, lemonade with lemon is nice}
...xXx...
I can only say what worked for me... which was 1hr at a time to 1 day at a time...! Little steps...
...! you can do it if you really want it...!Wishing you well...! ...
{diet cola, lemonade with lemon is nice} ...xXx...
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