hey
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: fumbling towards ecstasy
Posts: 2,551
Welcome, cuddles! Glad you are here.Hang on and keep reaching out for support. Whatever it is, you don't have to go through it alone. Do you have family or friends or professionals who can help you where you are? If you share a bit more here, we can tell you about our own experience, strength and hope.
Read some posts, keep reaching out and keep coming back!
Member
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Somewhere there is peace of mind
Posts: 210
well i am 17 years old i drink, self harm and purge i dont know why but i am finding it really hard with my ED can we all go into chat and talk today
I can understand the self harm, everytime I put a drink or a drug to my lips that's what I was doing...with lots of other erratic behaviors going hand in hand with my using. Through the grace of my Higher Power, a 12 step recovery program, and a heck of a lot of work, I don't have to do those things today.
Do you have a therapist? A support system? How are you doing physically?
Member
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: planet of apes
Posts: 40
Dear Cuddles,
I am a recovered ED patient, and I am new here. Be careful with the drinking part. I recovered from ED with the help of marijuana, that is, smoking instead of dinner, then lunch, and it is the worst thing to do. Later, that was replaced by drinking.
Doing either way, suppresses your craving for food, we all know that. But it develops terrible paranioa, substance addiction, and, in my case, incredible unsocialized and alienated behaviour that is also caused by ED anyway. Not mentioning the effect alcohol has on a stomach and inestines that are tortured anyway by your eating habits. You can end up with untolerable diarrhea, stomach bleeding, or stomach rupture which could kill you within an hour.
I suggest you start a diary right now. It helped me so much. For every day there should be a part where you write about your feelings and what happened to you, and also a table of everything you took in in ounces, grams and calories, with a timestamp.
Part of the diary should be: how do I picture myself and my days? I have a picture of myself of a 17 year old girl that should be me. She looks like this and she's cheerful and happy. She gets up, eats this and this for breakfast, then carries on with the day like this. She spends her evening like this and this.
Make this girl a goal, but don't make it unreal. Don't make her look like any movie star. Make it the real you.
Then, make a plan. How to achieve, a healthy, smiling funny you that you described who sticks with what she decided, looks nice (not overskinny!). One that people are attracted to because she feels so nice in her skin.
Compare your days to the real you's (this girl's) day, and point out the moves that differ. Address those moves, and try to find out why, when at 7 PM, you reach for the bottle, other than, reading the book or doing excercises, learning a language, whatever you pictured for yourself for that time of day.
Make a plan.
I personally caught myself simply being lazy. Other than investing in planning and carrying out a task, it is a lot simplier to grab a drink and sit around feeling sorry for myself.
I still struggle with it. The diary is my best friend. My problem is down to drinking now. How exactly I stopped caring for my shape and what I eat day by day, I do not exactly know, but it is not a concern any more. I somehow realized, I remember, that all these people I know having ED, including me, regardless of how much effort and time they put in their diets, tend to look the same for years and years. They think they can change the way they look, but in fact they could not. The only thing I found that changes your figure is going to the gym at least 3 times a week, and working out hard in the long run. That makes the change regardless of what you eat. But you cant work out if you have a hangover, have your stomach empty or full. Working out brings the proper diet.
I just plan to do that again (I stopped two years ago), because it gives such an incredible, comforting happiness. Not to do it to be skinny, but for the good feeling afterwards.
I hope you get better soon, and go to your MD. Mine helped me a lot.
ED needs medical supervision, because people with ED die in drying out, heart attacks, kidney function stopping, and other reasons.
Doing either way, suppresses your craving for food, we all know that. But it develops terrible paranioa, substance addiction, and, in my case, incredible unsocialized and alienated behaviour that is also caused by ED anyway. Not mentioning the effect alcohol has on a stomach and inestines that are tortured anyway by your eating habits. You can end up with untolerable diarrhea, stomach bleeding, or stomach rupture which could kill you within an hour.
I suggest you start a diary right now. It helped me so much. For every day there should be a part where you write about your feelings and what happened to you, and also a table of everything you took in in ounces, grams and calories, with a timestamp.
Part of the diary should be: how do I picture myself and my days? I have a picture of myself of a 17 year old girl that should be me. She looks like this and she's cheerful and happy. She gets up, eats this and this for breakfast, then carries on with the day like this. She spends her evening like this and this.
Make this girl a goal, but don't make it unreal. Don't make her look like any movie star. Make it the real you.
Then, make a plan. How to achieve, a healthy, smiling funny you that you described who sticks with what she decided, looks nice (not overskinny!). One that people are attracted to because she feels so nice in her skin.
Compare your days to the real you's (this girl's) day, and point out the moves that differ. Address those moves, and try to find out why, when at 7 PM, you reach for the bottle, other than, reading the book or doing excercises, learning a language, whatever you pictured for yourself for that time of day.
Make a plan.
I personally caught myself simply being lazy. Other than investing in planning and carrying out a task, it is a lot simplier to grab a drink and sit around feeling sorry for myself.
I still struggle with it. The diary is my best friend. My problem is down to drinking now. How exactly I stopped caring for my shape and what I eat day by day, I do not exactly know, but it is not a concern any more. I somehow realized, I remember, that all these people I know having ED, including me, regardless of how much effort and time they put in their diets, tend to look the same for years and years. They think they can change the way they look, but in fact they could not. The only thing I found that changes your figure is going to the gym at least 3 times a week, and working out hard in the long run. That makes the change regardless of what you eat. But you cant work out if you have a hangover, have your stomach empty or full. Working out brings the proper diet.
I just plan to do that again (I stopped two years ago), because it gives such an incredible, comforting happiness. Not to do it to be skinny, but for the good feeling afterwards.
I hope you get better soon, and go to your MD. Mine helped me a lot.
ED needs medical supervision, because people with ED die in drying out, heart attacks, kidney function stopping, and other reasons.
*~10 YEARS BABY~*
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Hollywood
Posts: 9,369
Originally Posted by cuddles
well i am 17 years old i drink, self harm and purge i dont know why but i am finding it really hard with my ED can we all go into chat and talk today
Glad you are here. I can relate to a lot of your struggles. I've had an ongoing ed struggle since I can remember, as well as self harming.
All of the things your doing are things we tend to do to numb our
feelings, or act as if we don't have any.
Are there things going on in your life that seem overwhelming?
For me personally it has taken a lot of therapy and the right medications to get me to a better place. I still struggle but it's under control.
Trying to do it on your own usually doesn't work when your this far.
Once we start using cutting, purging as a coping mechanism for
feelings it's very hard to get out of.
Are you in therapy right now?
What are some things that you like to do? If you can find things to replace the self harm that usually helps also.
Keep posting, keep getting this stuff out.
Glad you are here!
DWI
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