How do I get help for my alcoholic husband?
Recovering Nicely
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 935
How do I get help for my alcoholic husband?
Hi Everyone,
I've been with my husband 20 years. 17 years ago, he went through detox and rehab after I left him for three weeks (we were not married then and did not have a house or credit) and he lost his job due to his drinking (drinking even more once I left). He remained sober for 13 years, at which time he was a great husband and father. Four years ago, he picked up (beer only, as far as I know) and has gotten steadily worse, drinking to the point of daily intoxication. He stopped for a week once (two weeks ago). He is now on his bender again which could last months. He is getting meaner, manipulative and can't comprehend a word I say. Everything gets twisted in his mind. He gets drunk at work now, and if he gets fired, we lose our house. He knows this but doesn't care. He drinks and drives constantly (actually drinking beer while driving). I know everyone thinks I should let him hit rock bottom, but unfortunately, I will suffer for his rock bottom because if that all goes down, I will lose my house. If he hurts someone while drinking and driving, I can be sued as well. If I leave him, I know for a fact he will drink himself into oblivion hand have a giant pity party, then hit rock bottom, and I will still lose out. I can't leave him and hope he pays our bills. I couldn't pay them on my salary and it would ruin our credit. I am at my wit's end. I don't know what to do. I tried talking to him this morning, but he is already drinking at work today and will be drunk by tonight. Please help. Someone said try an intervention. How can that help someone who doesn't want help? Please please help me. Thanks.
Terri
I've been with my husband 20 years. 17 years ago, he went through detox and rehab after I left him for three weeks (we were not married then and did not have a house or credit) and he lost his job due to his drinking (drinking even more once I left). He remained sober for 13 years, at which time he was a great husband and father. Four years ago, he picked up (beer only, as far as I know) and has gotten steadily worse, drinking to the point of daily intoxication. He stopped for a week once (two weeks ago). He is now on his bender again which could last months. He is getting meaner, manipulative and can't comprehend a word I say. Everything gets twisted in his mind. He gets drunk at work now, and if he gets fired, we lose our house. He knows this but doesn't care. He drinks and drives constantly (actually drinking beer while driving). I know everyone thinks I should let him hit rock bottom, but unfortunately, I will suffer for his rock bottom because if that all goes down, I will lose my house. If he hurts someone while drinking and driving, I can be sued as well. If I leave him, I know for a fact he will drink himself into oblivion hand have a giant pity party, then hit rock bottom, and I will still lose out. I can't leave him and hope he pays our bills. I couldn't pay them on my salary and it would ruin our credit. I am at my wit's end. I don't know what to do. I tried talking to him this morning, but he is already drinking at work today and will be drunk by tonight. Please help. Someone said try an intervention. How can that help someone who doesn't want help? Please please help me. Thanks.
Terri
Reach Out and Touch Faith
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: On a Sailboat
Posts: 3,871
I was going to post you the link to Family and Friends but I see you have already found it. Welcome to SR
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 14
I am new to this site, just set up my account. I came home to a drunk husband for the millionth time and I am at my absolute wit's end. I don't know why it surprises and disappoints me every time because he is drunk every day and every night. He says he needs to stop drinking but he can't. He will not go into an inpatient treatment program. What do people do? His friends have formally detached from him. His dad doesn't know what is going on. We've been married for 22 years and frankly I am tired of the burden. If I left him he would not take his medication, he would not eat, he's unemployed, therefore would have no health insurance, I honestly do not know how he would live. He drinks 24/7. What do people like him do? What do people like me do with people like him when we don't want the burden any more?
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Glitzville
Posts: 334
Hi Broken,
Please click on the link to "Family and Friends" in blue in the post above. That will take you to the subforum where spouses of alcoholics gather. If you post again there you will get much more information from wives dealing with this same issue, and if you read the stickies at the top of that forum it will give you more understanding of your current dilemma.
Best wishes to you.
Donna
Please click on the link to "Family and Friends" in blue in the post above. That will take you to the subforum where spouses of alcoholics gather. If you post again there you will get much more information from wives dealing with this same issue, and if you read the stickies at the top of that forum it will give you more understanding of your current dilemma.
Best wishes to you.
Donna
Adjusting my Sails
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 1,021
Originally Posted by queenteree 
Hi Everyone,
I've been with my husband 20 years. 17 years ago, he went through detox and rehab after I left him for three weeks (we were not married then and did not have a house or credit) and he lost his job due to his drinking (drinking even more once I left). He remained sober for 13 years, at which time he was a great husband and father. Four years ago, he picked up (beer only, as far as I know) and has gotten steadily worse, drinking to the point of daily intoxication. He stopped for a week once (two weeks ago). He is now on his bender again which could last months. He is getting meaner, manipulative and can't comprehend a word I say. Everything gets twisted in his mind. He gets drunk at work now, and if he gets fired, we lose our house. He knows this but doesn't care. He drinks and drives constantly (actually drinking beer while driving). I know everyone thinks I should let him hit rock bottom, but unfortunately, I will suffer for his rock bottom because if that all goes down, I will lose my house. If he hurts someone while drinking and driving, I can be sued as well. If I leave him, I know for a fact he will drink himself into oblivion hand have a giant pity party, then hit rock bottom, and I will still lose out. I can't leave him and hope he pays our bills. I couldn't pay them on my salary and it would ruin our credit. I am at my wit's end. I don't know what to do. I tried talking to him this morning, but he is already drinking at work today and will be drunk by tonight.
I've been with my husband 20 years. 17 years ago, he went through detox and rehab after I left him for three weeks (we were not married then and did not have a house or credit) and he lost his job due to his drinking (drinking even more once I left). He remained sober for 13 years, at which time he was a great husband and father. Four years ago, he picked up (beer only, as far as I know) and has gotten steadily worse, drinking to the point of daily intoxication. He stopped for a week once (two weeks ago). He is now on his bender again which could last months. He is getting meaner, manipulative and can't comprehend a word I say. Everything gets twisted in his mind. He gets drunk at work now, and if he gets fired, we lose our house. He knows this but doesn't care. He drinks and drives constantly (actually drinking beer while driving). I know everyone thinks I should let him hit rock bottom, but unfortunately, I will suffer for his rock bottom because if that all goes down, I will lose my house. If he hurts someone while drinking and driving, I can be sued as well. If I leave him, I know for a fact he will drink himself into oblivion hand have a giant pity party, then hit rock bottom, and I will still lose out. I can't leave him and hope he pays our bills. I couldn't pay them on my salary and it would ruin our credit. I am at my wit's end. I don't know what to do. I tried talking to him this morning, but he is already drinking at work today and will be drunk by tonight.
Originally Posted by queenteree
Please help. Someone said try an intervention. How can that help someone who doesn't want help? Please please help me. Thanks. Terri
Do you pray Terri?
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