zara28

I had been just over five months sober when I met a guy on the inernet this week.I put in my profile that I didn't drink so when the time came I told him again that I didn't drink(that put a dampner on the conversation.)Last night was a disaster.We got on fine,laughing and flirting ect ect.It started with the wine and ended with wine (with alot of other drinks thrown in)So I was trashed.Then I went to his house ,because I could hardly drive home and we slept together.I could have caught a cab but that would have been far too logical.To say I hate myself right now would be a huge understatement.I don't know why I threw away five months of sobriety for one night with a guy.I was so comitted to being sober,but it seems not enough.I think I just forgot how horrible it feels to be hungover not to mention the guilt and shame for stuff that I would never do sober.So here I go again,for today I am sober.............

Done_With_It

Oh girl, I'm sorry. That sucks. But you learned and your picking yourself up, right? That's great!

Hang in there sweetie.

CarolD

Many many of us restarted our sobriety..
just begin again..

2dayzmuse

Tomorrow is a new day. Never give up and use this as a reminder as to why you shouldn't drink. Sometimes we make mistakes. Forgive yourself and move on.

michski

It takes a bit of practice to "cut the ice" on a date without a drink in hand. That's why a lot of people don't get involved with new relationships in early sobriety. Don't beat yourself up you still managed 5 months without a drop and that's a fantastic beginning. LIke Carol said "just begin again"

zara28

Thankyou so much for responding to my situation.
I will be taking my profile off the site as I'm not ready for a relationship at the moment (well it's obvious now!!).The biggest mistake was that I thought I could get sober on my own (I stopped going to meetings and I stopped posting here.)I'm living at home and my parents are very proud of my sobriety and are/were supportive of me.They know that I drank last night as I had to call them this morning to tell them where I was.I again put myself in a very dangerous situation by even going to his house in the first place.
This type of drunken behaviour concerns me deeply.Im worried that if there is a next time I may not be so lucky.So yeah I feel out of control ,a feeling I lost when I made a commitment to becoming sober.

leviathon

Hi Zara, sorry to hear where you found yourself, but on the upside, today you are sober and you are here. Welcome back and congrats on facing yourself. That is awesome.

Peace, Levi

REZ

I'm glad you okay and I hope you learned some valuable lessons. I know that I could not stay clean/sober on my own: I go to NA/AA regularly. Also, relationships are a very dangerous and slippery area of life. I lot of people recommend no new relationships in the first year of recovery. The main problem with relationships, is that it is so easy to put the relationship ahead of your recovery, and if you do that, you know what happens...

Anna

Hi Zara,

I am glad you're back and sober and I'm glad that you recognize that what you did was dangerous.

There's lots of support here, so keep posting.

nogard

Hi Zara, I am glad your safe and back.

Its a cunning, powerful and baffling dis ease, hang on thight.

Kevin

IV-NV

Good to have you back girlie,
Chin up..now where were we??


nv

livefortoday

For me, trying to date in early sobriety was a VERY bad idea! On th ebright side, you made it back and if you had any doubts about your alcoholism perhaps you can see now that you are powerless over ANYTHING you do or say after the first drink! That whole waking up when you didn't know where seems to affect an awful lot of us as alcoholic women. I know the shame and guilt I felt each time I was in your shoes and I love how "clean" I have grown to feel in my sobriety. God is good and he will take care of all things if you let him. Keep coming back here and get to a face to face meeting and get a ponsor if you are up to it. The in person accountability helps me stay sober, a day at a time! tk

Popov_overdose

Chin up! No one is perfect, tomorrow is another day, relapses happen, chin up!

dave

Wow i am sorry to hear that you did that.But hey start again my friend i did the same before to and now you know what you dod wrong now please use the wisdom you have learned the hard way and start over..Good luck my prayers are with you..

earlybird

You know,....everything in AA has a purpose. There is a reason for all the suggestions. Reasons behind the statements that have proven to be true or help tremendously. One of the big ones is no relationships the first year of recovery. I know it sounds boring. I know it sounds slow. I know all this. But there is a REASON for it. You just experienced it.

MNGirlyGirl

((Zara)), I can completely understand how that happened. I can't imagine going on a date sober. Luckily (I think), I don't have that problem!! Today is a new day and you learned something about yourself and this disease. You still have all that sober time -- it was just one day. Jump back on.

c'est la vie

Even people with ages of sobriety have this problem. That's why they say going to meetings and helping newcomers is so great. It keeps the memory at the front of your mind. Reading the newcomer section here helps too.

I worry about the same thing - getting too comfortable with sobriety (at a whopping 2 months) that I don't need meetings, but I need to be reminded of how bad I really did feel. Otherwise I'll end up making the same darn mistakes agian.

Glad that you're back safe and sound.

Lollipop

Zara,
I agree with the others, use this as a learning tool and start fresh today, sober. Dont be too hard on yourself, you have done a fantastic job of confronting yourself and seeing the mistakes you made. Move forward, the hangover will ease and the day is a new one
Liss