Zencat

Lixie, good news you have...nice

Theres a Japnese saying I live by.
"A plan without action is a daydream. Action without a plan is a nightmare.

Pekelover2

Thanks everyone.
The wind is howling. The rain I’d pouring. So many of the guys have opted out of our run tonight. But not me! If I opt out, I’ll stay home and drink.
So this is a plan! A very good plan. I’m proud of myself.

Anna my husband is filming me because I have no memory of what I do when I drink. I was trying to fix a broken door. I wouldn’t have believed it had he told me about it the next day. But there I was, with tools out trying to fix the door. And yelling! Oh gosh! I was yelling! Yelling at the door. Yelling at a door. Jesus.

okay No drinking tonight! At least I have this in the bag. It’s a lot of work staying sober, lol. This run is going to be nuts.

venuscat

I like that a lot, Zen. ❤️

Pekelover2

Just got home.
the running group split into two: one went eight miles the rest went five miles. Obviously I picked the five mile crew. Only girl though. I did fine. I can’t talk when I’m hungover. So I just laughed a lot and said stuff like “sounds cool” or “really!”.

I'm sitting here. I want a glass of wine. I feel like my night won’t be happy unless I drink. But I’m not drinking. So tired. That’s a good thing.

Dee74

You wont regret waking up sober in the morning
Do think about what you can add to what you're doing tho - the more irons in the fire, the stronger you recovery will be

D

RunnerF

Day 34. Need to remain focused on “I don’t drink now” for the weekend. Need to resist pressure from spouse to drink as it is the weekend. Haven’t told her about the high liver numbers in my recent blood test that indicate now is the time to stop drinking before it gets worse. Last time I tried to quit she called me boring and was actually mad. Gave in and drank. She is a moderate drinker but once I start I can’t stop. I relate to the saying “one is too many and too many is never enough “. Am resolved to make my sobriety and health my priority. If she gets upset I will tell her so. She will think I’m really boring if I’m dead.

Dee74

stay committed RunnerF - its a change for her as much as it is for you. You will both have to get used to the new normal

D

RunnerF

Dee,

Thanks for being supportive. I am keeping in mind it is a change for both. Am focusing on staying in the present and letting the future be what it will be. Doing the right thing now will give my future a better chance.

Thanks again.

Lixie

Runner, I am so sorry that you and your wife have different priorities. Please stay true to yourself and live the life that is best for you. If she thinks you're boring because you don't drink, that is on her. You need to focus on you and your needs. I'm rooting for you!

samwitch

Oh Peke--I'm so sorry! We are your sober peers, I know it's not IRL, but we are here.

samwitch

OMG Runner-I'm so sorry about this, I hope you can have a frank discussion with her-maybe she just doesn't understand the situation? Years ago, when I was married and first tried to quit my husband was very supportive even though he was my drinking buddy-I hope your wife comes around.

Splash29

3 days sober! Woke up this morning with no hangover and anxiety. I have a cat that takes ME for walks lol. Just around the perimeter of the house and I’m grateful I wasn’t hungover and could enjoy my morning.

samwitch

Good morning all-
Lots of stuff going on in the group and good although sometimes hard discussions, but I'm glad we can have them.

I'm doing well, back on day 4, Like Lixie, I feel so much better and I think my eyes sparkle too :-)
Kidding aside, my eyes are the first thing I notice getting better after stopping drinking, that and my resting heart rate drops by like 10 points.
Lovely Friday here.

Tetrax

Nice one; you've come a long way in a few days

Mysteryman

I can relate to this a lot.
When I first started trying to quit, my other half always used to say things like, "Come on just have one or two".
We didnt argue about it, but it took a good while for me to explain that I cant just have one or two, because when I start I cant stop.
Now, she understands more and respects my decision not to drink. She sometimes has one or two around me, which I dont mind.

Zencat

Good morning everyone

first I take a drink, the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes me.

just for today I will not let the drink take me.
namaste

Lixie

Namaste, Zencat.

As if the universe hadn't given me enough to be grateful for today, I just learned that my father's cancer has not spread, and that he is having surgery soon. I'm so happy!!!

Pekelover2

Text from my husband yesterday morning:

”[Peke] I’m so very worried about you. You had yet another drunken melt down. You are completely out of control.
You can’t possibly expect me to go with you to see your family in this state: constant drinking behind my back, lying to my face. I can’t deal with the stress and anxiety of the trips, the airport, the flights, the restaurants…basically every time you’re not directly in sight I’ll worry you’ll drink, and it’s been a solid week of proving that you will. It’s the opposite of a vacation. I’m anxious just thinking about it. There’s just no way.”

And:

”You told me the other evening “I’ll just get drunk again when you’re at work”. How am I supposed to deal with this? You need to do something and it needs to involve something aside from blaming me , blaming anything else. You need to take control starting TODAY, RIGHT NOW. If you quit drinking I’ll do it with you, ok? Let’s try it. We have to. I’ll leave you otherwise. It’s not even about the trip anymore; you’ve seen the videos…you’re drunk and frustrated every night, like a cliche in a movie. Don’t you love me at all? Can you come up with anything besides blaming me and your appearance? I love you, [Peke]. Where did you go?”

I’m beyond sad. I will stop.

Caramel

Support to you, RunnerF, you're doing well

Caramel

Pekelover2 - hold fast to that. ((hugs)) and support to you.