180 Day Challenge Part 6
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,945
Drove from Dodge City, Kansas to Santa Fe, New Mexico. Traffic was light. Saw lots of acres in Kansas, Oklahoma, and New Mexico not planted or pastured. Tomorrow, we visit Los Alamos - home of the Manhattan project of WWII.
over hung over
Join Date: Mar 2021
Posts: 636
Dickenson, Los Alamos, that is a visit I'd really like to make.....
'The Making of the Atomic Bomb', Richard Rhodes.....easily one of the best books I've read in many years, a fascinating account not just of the weapon, but a comprehensible history of all the nuclear physics that led to it. So good, I've read it a couple of times over the last year. I had never appreciated the sheer immensity of the undertaking.....it was like the US building a whole new industry the size of the existing auto industry....huge. They didn't know what method would finally work....so they built them all simultaneously.
Some very risky experiments went on at Los Alamos.....critical mass of materials held apart from criticality with screwdrivers. The development of the implosion charges for the second bomb is a whole tale in itself.
Anyway....
Today is the day I have to front the first meet up of this course group.
But physically feeling better and just have to remember that everyone is new to everyone else, tho I guess there will be ppl with teams and partners. These things are among the hardest to do for us social isolates. Way easier to sit at home with bottles....
Guess you're nearly home Adv.....does the house build continue in your absence?
Could be a wet weekend in the garden Zura.....
All the best everybody.
Later
'The Making of the Atomic Bomb', Richard Rhodes.....easily one of the best books I've read in many years, a fascinating account not just of the weapon, but a comprehensible history of all the nuclear physics that led to it. So good, I've read it a couple of times over the last year. I had never appreciated the sheer immensity of the undertaking.....it was like the US building a whole new industry the size of the existing auto industry....huge. They didn't know what method would finally work....so they built them all simultaneously.
Some very risky experiments went on at Los Alamos.....critical mass of materials held apart from criticality with screwdrivers. The development of the implosion charges for the second bomb is a whole tale in itself.
Anyway....
Today is the day I have to front the first meet up of this course group.
But physically feeling better and just have to remember that everyone is new to everyone else, tho I guess there will be ppl with teams and partners. These things are among the hardest to do for us social isolates. Way easier to sit at home with bottles....
Guess you're nearly home Adv.....does the house build continue in your absence?
Could be a wet weekend in the garden Zura.....
All the best everybody.
Later
Member
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 2,698
dickensen - Google maps tells me that's a long drive! Enjoy!
Very interesting re the atomic bomb pline. Good luck at your meet up. I'm an introvert and it's the anticipation that gets me with new situations, once I'm there I'm fine. Hope it's similar for you.
We had a couple of huge down pours fairly recently (flooded the creek but that's as bad as it ever gets here) and consistent rain since then. So the backyards a bit boggy still. The weather forecast tells me over the next week it's going to be mostly sunny with just some light chances of rain on one or two days. Will be good to get back in the garden, although I've been ducking out between the rain there's always lots to be done. And the weeds are, well, growing like weeds from all the rain.
Hope the last leg of your journey is gentle advbike.
Very interesting re the atomic bomb pline. Good luck at your meet up. I'm an introvert and it's the anticipation that gets me with new situations, once I'm there I'm fine. Hope it's similar for you.
We had a couple of huge down pours fairly recently (flooded the creek but that's as bad as it ever gets here) and consistent rain since then. So the backyards a bit boggy still. The weather forecast tells me over the next week it's going to be mostly sunny with just some light chances of rain on one or two days. Will be good to get back in the garden, although I've been ducking out between the rain there's always lots to be done. And the weeds are, well, growing like weeds from all the rain.
Hope the last leg of your journey is gentle advbike.
over hung over
Join Date: Mar 2021
Posts: 636
Morning all.
Wild wet and windy here today.....and very grey. So a good day to stay inside and work on a couple of things.
Survived last night's meet up.
Wasn't too bad.....everyone in same situation of meeting for first time, so everybody making the effort.....not that awful thing of hovering awkwardly looking like you're trying to break into the conversational circle. That's the one that usually ends with me edging my way to the nearest exit.
Staff of course highly articulate and practised at being amusing....but they did it easily and well.
Whole thing is well out of my usual zone.....social shared workplaces etc, but....the offices are not far from here, so maybe I should break out of the iso-covid existence and give it a go.
Really doing this as a strategy to build some sober time......try and get engaged with the outside world again as a counter to just being in here all the time, getting sick of it and using alcohol to just get some time out from it. Initially. Then the the alcohol turns into a whole other awful existence in itself.
Ok....go and kick off the day.
Another sober one for all of us.
Later
Wild wet and windy here today.....and very grey. So a good day to stay inside and work on a couple of things.
Survived last night's meet up.
Wasn't too bad.....everyone in same situation of meeting for first time, so everybody making the effort.....not that awful thing of hovering awkwardly looking like you're trying to break into the conversational circle. That's the one that usually ends with me edging my way to the nearest exit.
Staff of course highly articulate and practised at being amusing....but they did it easily and well.
Whole thing is well out of my usual zone.....social shared workplaces etc, but....the offices are not far from here, so maybe I should break out of the iso-covid existence and give it a go.
Really doing this as a strategy to build some sober time......try and get engaged with the outside world again as a counter to just being in here all the time, getting sick of it and using alcohol to just get some time out from it. Initially. Then the the alcohol turns into a whole other awful existence in itself.
Ok....go and kick off the day.
Another sober one for all of us.
Later
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Sonoran Desert & Southeast Asia
Posts: 6,561
Fantastic job, my friend - I knew you'd do well. You are a bright and articulate chap so that's your natural environment (me too) whether we realize it or not. Alcohol robs us of our confidence, is the only problem.
All good here, have been without internet for the past day and a half since I left the hotel in Phoenix. I had lost my US sim card and they've had a hard time replacing it for some reason, so have been limping along on Philippines sim - with roaming charges attached. Finally got it all straightened out today, after my first good night's sleep in a week.
Was fantastic to get home - the mountains above me are green, the desert is green, and the yard is pleasantly overgrown with vines and such - lots of flowers. A joy to see.. and to sleep in my own bed, haha 😄
Best to all.
All good here, have been without internet for the past day and a half since I left the hotel in Phoenix. I had lost my US sim card and they've had a hard time replacing it for some reason, so have been limping along on Philippines sim - with roaming charges attached. Finally got it all straightened out today, after my first good night's sleep in a week.
Was fantastic to get home - the mountains above me are green, the desert is green, and the yard is pleasantly overgrown with vines and such - lots of flowers. A joy to see.. and to sleep in my own bed, haha 😄
Best to all.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,945
Traveled from Santa Fe to Los Alamos and then to Cortez, Colorado. Beautiful drive with mountains, valleys, and grazing cattle. Stopped and visited the science museum at Los Alamos which displayed the huge scientific and managerial effort to develop the atomic bomb that ended WWII.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Sonoran Desert & Southeast Asia
Posts: 6,561
Dickensen, what a GREAT trip you're having! Thanks for the updates.
All good here - just bought a new car today - after driving our sporty Mazda in the Phils I wanted something a little sportier for myself so upgraded my 2015 Audi to a 2021. That's about as new as I ever go, lol. It will last me at least 4-5 years before I get bored again. I'm an unapologetic car guy but also environmentalist and it does seem to get at least 5 mpg better as we should be striving towards.. Sorry to those who use the L/100km number I'm too tired to do the conversions. Probably not a good time to be spending money but I'd been thinking about it for some time and the right car came along at my local dealer.
I'm still running at about 75% functionality due to jet lag and resulting poor sleep. Slowly getting things sorted out on other fronts. I am really tired of the air travel - it is not nearly as enjoyable as before - expensive, fraught with delays, covid concerns and tempers flaring. There must have been 1000 people packed into the terminal I flew out of in Manila - hot, poorly ventilated and half without masks - a super spreader event if there ever were one. Having just had Covid my immunity was probably pretty high but still a real cluster.. just not worth it anymore. I will drive, haha.
Best to all.
All good here - just bought a new car today - after driving our sporty Mazda in the Phils I wanted something a little sportier for myself so upgraded my 2015 Audi to a 2021. That's about as new as I ever go, lol. It will last me at least 4-5 years before I get bored again. I'm an unapologetic car guy but also environmentalist and it does seem to get at least 5 mpg better as we should be striving towards.. Sorry to those who use the L/100km number I'm too tired to do the conversions. Probably not a good time to be spending money but I'd been thinking about it for some time and the right car came along at my local dealer.
I'm still running at about 75% functionality due to jet lag and resulting poor sleep. Slowly getting things sorted out on other fronts. I am really tired of the air travel - it is not nearly as enjoyable as before - expensive, fraught with delays, covid concerns and tempers flaring. There must have been 1000 people packed into the terminal I flew out of in Manila - hot, poorly ventilated and half without masks - a super spreader event if there ever were one. Having just had Covid my immunity was probably pretty high but still a real cluster.. just not worth it anymore. I will drive, haha.
Best to all.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Sonoran Desert & Southeast Asia
Posts: 6,561
I returned the car, lol. Don't know what I was thinking. There have been so many expenses lately.
My impulsivity and distorted rationalizations on buying expensive things is the same as with alcohol.
I think it is the result of damaged frontal lobes. Thankfully they were very gracious about it.
Dickensen - how was the visit to Mesa Verde? I hope it was amazing and informative!
My impulsivity and distorted rationalizations on buying expensive things is the same as with alcohol.
I think it is the result of damaged frontal lobes. Thankfully they were very gracious about it.
Dickensen - how was the visit to Mesa Verde? I hope it was amazing and informative!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 2,698
I bet the caves were pretty awesome dickensen, I'll have to look them up.
I understand both buying the car, and returning it advbike. There were probably pros and cons to doing both but it probably felt like a wrong decision if done more on impulse and after big expenses. The airport situation sounded a bit full on!! I bet your glad that's over.
How's things coming along pline? Has your project geared up yet?
I understand both buying the car, and returning it advbike. There were probably pros and cons to doing both but it probably felt like a wrong decision if done more on impulse and after big expenses. The airport situation sounded a bit full on!! I bet your glad that's over.
How's things coming along pline? Has your project geared up yet?
over hung over
Join Date: Mar 2021
Posts: 636
Hi Zura, all....
The biz startup program kicks off properly this week. Have some reading, there are a couple of zoom sessions. Apparently I also get a desk at the co-work centre for the duration of the course and can continue as a rental thing at its conclusion. Am going to make use of this.....a big reason to be involved in this is to get out of the house and back into the world again. Also looking for possible collaborator(s). If I'm drinking......then it won't happen. I'll just do the zooms, skip the face to face side and stay at home, then just fade out being unable to do the presentations that it ends with.
Returning the car surprised me Adv, tho I doubt frontal lobe deficit, lol. This is the 'executive' part, controlling impulsivity yes? The book I recently read "The Brain That Changes Itself"....basic idea was that previously it was thought that each function mapped to a particular area of the brain. More recently it has been convincingly shown that the brain is much more 'plastic'....one area can grow at the expense of another, eg ppl who are blind....the visual area gets remapped to tactile....which enables them to develop the touch sensitivity to read braille.
I went reading this for ideas about addiction, but found a lot of very interesting insights in it.
Anyway....maybe not the moment for another car. Airport sounds hard going....chaotic at the best of times, with covid added in it'd be a hard thing to manage. Glad you home ok. Oh yeah, own bed....ain't that just bliss....I spent some months in Japan doing the futon on the floor thing. Just sleeping on the floor really....fly home and just crashed for about 9 hours straight....it was so comfortable, I'd forgotten.
Ok.....now its the weekend. The 'fun' bit of early sobriety. It all goes very quiet for what seems like a long time. The AV starts nudging later this afternoon about 'just drinking Saturdays....after all, its been such a productive week....need some time out, Saturday night like everybody else does....etc'. But if I haven't learned how it inevitably ends up by now....
So....can only keep busy and cook a meal this evening, sit on the sofa with the laptop and watch junk on netflix.
A very quiet life.....but at least I don't wake about 3.30 a.m. Sunday morning full of dark fears and desperations.
Ok everybody...have a good weekend. Maybe talk later.
The biz startup program kicks off properly this week. Have some reading, there are a couple of zoom sessions. Apparently I also get a desk at the co-work centre for the duration of the course and can continue as a rental thing at its conclusion. Am going to make use of this.....a big reason to be involved in this is to get out of the house and back into the world again. Also looking for possible collaborator(s). If I'm drinking......then it won't happen. I'll just do the zooms, skip the face to face side and stay at home, then just fade out being unable to do the presentations that it ends with.
Returning the car surprised me Adv, tho I doubt frontal lobe deficit, lol. This is the 'executive' part, controlling impulsivity yes? The book I recently read "The Brain That Changes Itself"....basic idea was that previously it was thought that each function mapped to a particular area of the brain. More recently it has been convincingly shown that the brain is much more 'plastic'....one area can grow at the expense of another, eg ppl who are blind....the visual area gets remapped to tactile....which enables them to develop the touch sensitivity to read braille.
I went reading this for ideas about addiction, but found a lot of very interesting insights in it.
Anyway....maybe not the moment for another car. Airport sounds hard going....chaotic at the best of times, with covid added in it'd be a hard thing to manage. Glad you home ok. Oh yeah, own bed....ain't that just bliss....I spent some months in Japan doing the futon on the floor thing. Just sleeping on the floor really....fly home and just crashed for about 9 hours straight....it was so comfortable, I'd forgotten.
Ok.....now its the weekend. The 'fun' bit of early sobriety. It all goes very quiet for what seems like a long time. The AV starts nudging later this afternoon about 'just drinking Saturdays....after all, its been such a productive week....need some time out, Saturday night like everybody else does....etc'. But if I haven't learned how it inevitably ends up by now....
So....can only keep busy and cook a meal this evening, sit on the sofa with the laptop and watch junk on netflix.
A very quiet life.....but at least I don't wake about 3.30 a.m. Sunday morning full of dark fears and desperations.
Ok everybody...have a good weekend. Maybe talk later.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 2,698
Hang in there pline, if it helps any I think many here have quiet Saturday nights, as well in the wider community. I'm in bed very early, any night of the week. That might not be helpful though lol.
It's a good strategy having the project. I've been wondering myself if I should get out 'there' a bit more and try to find some social things to do. I have limitations (no car/finances) so it's in the maybe, when I'm back in the workforce bucket lol.
Give us a shout out if it becomes to dreary.
It's a good strategy having the project. I've been wondering myself if I should get out 'there' a bit more and try to find some social things to do. I have limitations (no car/finances) so it's in the maybe, when I'm back in the workforce bucket lol.
Give us a shout out if it becomes to dreary.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Sonoran Desert & Southeast Asia
Posts: 6,561
I second Zura's thoughts, Pline - think it's awesome you've put yourself out there. I'm not sure I could do it. Really, it's a great approach, since you gain on several fronts. Brilliant move, and glad it's going to plan.
I appreciated your comments about the brain plasticity thing. I do have some issues with OCD and compulsive thinking (get stuck in unhealthy patterns), and impulsivity.. and had heard about that at one time but didn't understand it re-mapped things in such a way as to bypass the dysfunctional areas. I guess I wasn't sure what it was about. I just read "Rewire your brain!" haha... okay. I do know that when we force ourselves out of old patterns and behaviors, and stick with a new behavior for some time, we can create new habits that are more healthy, but really that's nothing new. That's how we get past the magic hour after a few weeks of not drinking and it no longer occurs to us to have a cold one at 5pm. Works for me.
But this obsessive thinking and 'escapism' via impulsive behaviors was established when I was a kid and was stuck in some emotionally painful situation(s) I had no control over, and it became a coping mechanism. This is the true addictive brain - that can't take boredom, routine, discomfort, etc. It started ramping up my last month over there when some uncomfortable realities and health issues were beginning to pile up on me. My mind started looking for an escape from my discomfort, and that's when the car idea and thoughts of having a beer when I got home began to percolate in the back of my mind. Once the seed is planted it is hard for me to rationally dislodge it, because it's NOT rational. It's emotional. I actually talked with a close friend this morning who knows me *really* well, and she told me calmly several times "you can return the car. You don't need to keep it." Haha.. so rational.
I appreciated your comments about the brain plasticity thing. I do have some issues with OCD and compulsive thinking (get stuck in unhealthy patterns), and impulsivity.. and had heard about that at one time but didn't understand it re-mapped things in such a way as to bypass the dysfunctional areas. I guess I wasn't sure what it was about. I just read "Rewire your brain!" haha... okay. I do know that when we force ourselves out of old patterns and behaviors, and stick with a new behavior for some time, we can create new habits that are more healthy, but really that's nothing new. That's how we get past the magic hour after a few weeks of not drinking and it no longer occurs to us to have a cold one at 5pm. Works for me.
But this obsessive thinking and 'escapism' via impulsive behaviors was established when I was a kid and was stuck in some emotionally painful situation(s) I had no control over, and it became a coping mechanism. This is the true addictive brain - that can't take boredom, routine, discomfort, etc. It started ramping up my last month over there when some uncomfortable realities and health issues were beginning to pile up on me. My mind started looking for an escape from my discomfort, and that's when the car idea and thoughts of having a beer when I got home began to percolate in the back of my mind. Once the seed is planted it is hard for me to rationally dislodge it, because it's NOT rational. It's emotional. I actually talked with a close friend this morning who knows me *really* well, and she told me calmly several times "you can return the car. You don't need to keep it." Haha.. so rational.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Location: Where I’ve longed to be all my life…..here, now.
Posts: 7,337
Pline, wow, just wow! You are DOING GREAT! What an exciting time to be a part of this endeavor. It’s lovely to read your informative posts, and I agree, it’s a good distraction and motivator to live a sober you. Smart, articulate and thoughtful.
Dickensen, so cool hearing about your trip. I lived in Lawrence too, for a while, and Overland Park for 12 years. My in laws lived there for 45 years, so lots of holidays there. Small world.
Adv, I’m glad you sent the car back. Agree with Pline, not frontal lobe. You are trying to fill the void, and recognize that that must be done internally. Glad you are home! So much to process from your summer.
Zura, agree, this is a wonderful thread, and yes, coming up to that one year mar very soon. It was so much harder this time. When adv started this thread, I was late coming, and then I slipped. I thought 2/28/21 would never happen in sober time. It seemed so out of reach. Seemed those first 90 days were. A s l o g . . . .
Love all of you peeps.
me
Dickensen, so cool hearing about your trip. I lived in Lawrence too, for a while, and Overland Park for 12 years. My in laws lived there for 45 years, so lots of holidays there. Small world.
Adv, I’m glad you sent the car back. Agree with Pline, not frontal lobe. You are trying to fill the void, and recognize that that must be done internally. Glad you are home! So much to process from your summer.
Zura, agree, this is a wonderful thread, and yes, coming up to that one year mar very soon. It was so much harder this time. When adv started this thread, I was late coming, and then I slipped. I thought 2/28/21 would never happen in sober time. It seemed so out of reach. Seemed those first 90 days were. A s l o g . . . .
Love all of you peeps.
me
over hung over
Join Date: Mar 2021
Posts: 636
Afternoon all.
The late afternoon witching hour arrives......
Adv, I can understand the obsessional thinking......and I definitely find that alcohol makes it way, way, worse for me. I can forensically go over and over past things on alcohol....and it's such an utter waste of time. Once the lessons learned.....I have to learn to let it go, move on. I've wasted a lot of time reliving life spent with ppl who have wouldn't have thought about me in years. You did just fine.....you didn't need the car, you let it go. Way better than keeping it and hitting on yourself for buying it for months to come.
If I'm honest, I think I'd have to own to a low threshold for discomfort, physical and psychic. Learned early that there was an instant solution to discomfort and embraced it. But then the solution itself becomes the source of the discomfort. And the only solution you know is the habitual one, so you keep using it. This is how I have slipped into addiction. The challenge is find some new solutions to the discomforts. Which is not something that happens overnight.
Thanx Zura.....I don't have a lot of money coming in right now, the freelancing has dried up, so the idea is to live lean for a while and try and use it as a chance to set off in a different direction. I really need to try and re-engage. We're always being urged to have a plan on here. So that is mine....
Hello Free...good to see you here and thankyou for your kind support. Wonderful that you are coming up on the date.
Sat afternoon....all the cues were there. Been out in the car, so easy to stop off and buy a carton, then back here for the beer o'clock thing. It'd be fun for maybe the first 90 minutes, downstairs in the workshop, stereo funking out, Saturday and its been all good this week. But it would continue on tomorro as I don't have to be anywhere or in contact with anyone till late Tuesday. Actually I'd end up feeling pretty awful probably until Thursday Friday nxt week frankly. It'd effectively write the week off in terms of doing anything productive.....just don't want that anymore.
So, there is an evening of entertaining trashy TV on this evening ( 90 minutes of the Kiss farewell tour anyone?) with one of those slightly dodgy 'continental art films'
to follow if it turns into a late night.
Right now, its that hollow bit of the late afternoon which I find difficult to fill......so I'll go and find something to do until dinner time, just 2 or 3 hours and I'll be through to the next round......
Later
The late afternoon witching hour arrives......
Adv, I can understand the obsessional thinking......and I definitely find that alcohol makes it way, way, worse for me. I can forensically go over and over past things on alcohol....and it's such an utter waste of time. Once the lessons learned.....I have to learn to let it go, move on. I've wasted a lot of time reliving life spent with ppl who have wouldn't have thought about me in years. You did just fine.....you didn't need the car, you let it go. Way better than keeping it and hitting on yourself for buying it for months to come.
If I'm honest, I think I'd have to own to a low threshold for discomfort, physical and psychic. Learned early that there was an instant solution to discomfort and embraced it. But then the solution itself becomes the source of the discomfort. And the only solution you know is the habitual one, so you keep using it. This is how I have slipped into addiction. The challenge is find some new solutions to the discomforts. Which is not something that happens overnight.
Thanx Zura.....I don't have a lot of money coming in right now, the freelancing has dried up, so the idea is to live lean for a while and try and use it as a chance to set off in a different direction. I really need to try and re-engage. We're always being urged to have a plan on here. So that is mine....
Hello Free...good to see you here and thankyou for your kind support. Wonderful that you are coming up on the date.
Sat afternoon....all the cues were there. Been out in the car, so easy to stop off and buy a carton, then back here for the beer o'clock thing. It'd be fun for maybe the first 90 minutes, downstairs in the workshop, stereo funking out, Saturday and its been all good this week. But it would continue on tomorro as I don't have to be anywhere or in contact with anyone till late Tuesday. Actually I'd end up feeling pretty awful probably until Thursday Friday nxt week frankly. It'd effectively write the week off in terms of doing anything productive.....just don't want that anymore.
So, there is an evening of entertaining trashy TV on this evening ( 90 minutes of the Kiss farewell tour anyone?) with one of those slightly dodgy 'continental art films'
to follow if it turns into a late night.Right now, its that hollow bit of the late afternoon which I find difficult to fill......so I'll go and find something to do until dinner time, just 2 or 3 hours and I'll be through to the next round......
Later
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,945
We took the road out of Durango to visit friends in Montrose, Colorado. The road goes through Silverton and Ouray - two old silver and gold mining towns. The road is spectacular for mountains and canyons. It is called the Switzerland of America. The switch back speeds are posted at 15 miles per hour and they mean it. There are no fences so if you don't make a turn and leave the highway you will go airborne and enjoy a flight of thousands of feet down. We also went to Gunnison Black Canyon. This canyon is deeper than the Grand Canyon but not as wide. Gunnison canyon is 6000 feet deep versus the Grand Canyon at 5280 feet deep.
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