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180 Day Challenge Part 6

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Old 10-26-2022, 06:05 PM
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4 mile gorgeous crispy hilly fast walk with minimal jogging, then the 18 holes of golf cart path only for carts, so lots of jogging on the course. 2 pars! ⛳️ 🏌🏽‍♂️

small chicken Caesar salad homemade, washed down with water. BTW coffee this morning with almond milk, and tiny bit raw sugar.

Dinner blackened Mahi, half baked potato with 1 TBSP shredded cheddar no butter, and Brussels sprouts sprinkled with fresh Parmesan, washed down with La Croix lime club soda.

Ok, here’s the bad…..some kind of chocolate caramel popcorn, sinful. I had 2 cups in volume. So good, so sweet, too sweet, and now feel 🤢

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Old 10-26-2022, 06:08 PM
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Zura, prayers lifted you feel better soon.

Dusty, glad your not objectionable to others in your family being omnivores.

Pline, I love seafood too. I refuse the farm fed fish. NOT GOOD for us, or the environment. Hope things settle for you soon. I make wonderful Asian dishes too, so yummy. Lo sodium soy sauce on occasion, but use mirin, fish sauce, plum sauce, rice vinegar, green onions, ginger, garlic. Yummy!

Adv, hope your balancing your SR and online time with other things



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Old 10-26-2022, 09:45 PM
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Dusty, that's fantastic. Both your "conviction" diet and where you live - it all sounds so lovely! The UK and other countries look so appealing to me now, haha - for many reasons. I also appreciate the film recommendations - I will definitely watch both of those. My brother and I are planning to watch Death on the Nile together on Christmas (we always watch a movie after his amazing dinner), so I will have to watch Murder on the Orient Express before then. I hope your son feels better soon.

Pline.. Bro.. you are the healthy one, lol. you sound like you have a really healthy lifestyle going - great weight and diet. Your cooking sounds very impressive, holy cow.. and Asian is probably the healthiest of the cuisines for sure and my favorite overall. Good luck with the job search.

Zura, I'm sorry you're not feeling up to par. Rest up, and I hope you feel better tomorrow. I like your view of it - 80% - a little bit of moderation in things is good and nothing is worse than zealots of any stripe - especially food nazis.

Free - good job on a very balanced diet and exercise, as usual. I would eat 4 of those bagels, lol (the halves)..

I worked on home projects today - not even a step outside the gate, lol. But I took 15 min to sit outside and enjoy the mountains and appreciate my good fortune to be alive. Ate healthy - oatmeal with berries this morning, a mushroom omelet for brunch, salmon and roasted veggies for dinner. Plenty of coffee and some water. Sleep has really improved, leading to greater productivity.

Not even a thought of alcohol, as it should be. Best to all.

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Old 10-27-2022, 05:16 AM
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Grrr.. 3:30 am is too early to wake up.. 😡

So coffee in hand, I just started my day.. 3 hours early, haha. Chat with g/f, read the news, hmmm.. now what? It’s not even close to being light yet..

What was I saying about improved sleep? 😂
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Old 10-27-2022, 10:12 AM
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Thanks for the well wishes 😊

Free - I'm loving hearing about your activities and meals. Noice!!

Advbike - waking up early isn't fun, I hope it doesn't put too much of a dampening on your day and it all evens out again. I feel your pain this morning. My son woke me up at 2.30am asking if I remembered he had work this morning (5.30 start). I said goodnight to him before going to bed and had a whole conversation confirming he had work at 5.30 and the morning plan 😂 🤦. It's the second time he's done this lol atleast he's taking his work seriously 🤷 maybe a little too seriously 🤣. Anyway ofcourse I couldn't go back to sleep, after going to bed very late (for me).

I don't have an outright issue with people who are zealous about their eating habits lol I admire their commitment and wish I had the discipline. As long as people don't cross into the food Nazi territory and push their ideals on others ofcourse, and are just sharing about themselves. I'm a very much each to their own person.

I did read some interesting thoughts on mindset vs willpower. I thought the person made a valid point that willpower alone doesn't last very long, apparently it's been scientifically proven 🤷. The reason being emotion often eventually overrides logic so it's about making the changes a positive experience in our minds. They also pointed out how detrimental shame is in this process. That really resonated with me.

Hope your doing well dusty, pline and dickensen.

Have a great day all ❤️.
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Old 10-27-2022, 10:39 AM
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OMG. Sleeplessness got me. Less than 2 hours total of flopping around like a fish out of water for NINE hours in the bed.

?!?!?! My morning med tray was empty…..I took my morning meds last night. OMG 😳 😱😫

lesson learned
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Old 10-27-2022, 12:09 PM
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Sorry to hear that others had bad sleep too. It's no fun.

Zura, shame is a problem for me - it's one reason I work up early - my mind went to some things in the past that I'm not proud of. Not so much that I did anything wrong, but just that I made such a mess of my own life, and was so self-focused that I failed to recognize the things I could and should have been doing for others at the time. Showing up for them, basically. And I handled some relationships badly too, which eats at me. How could I have been such a jerk? At least I view myself that way - there's no way to know years later if I really was or it's just my constant shame filter distorting all the memories. I have tried all types of things to get rid of these feelings but it never works - they just go underground for awhile then re-emerge, usually at 3am.

I'm kind of struggling right now. Made a semi-commitment last week to do some do door to door election canvassing the next couple of weekends prior to the midterm elections (which are going to be really close and highly contested in my state) and now regretting it because it's totally not my thing to knock on stranger's doors and remind them to vote and help them to do so, lol. It's why I could never do sales.. except from a technical position, lol. As if we all haven't been swamped already with every conceivable form of messaging about this. On the other hand if it would help maybe I could do it, and I would probably feel better about myself. Sigh.. stress level alert, haha...
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Old 10-27-2022, 03:22 PM
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Morning....
Me? Healthy one?....thanx, but also sort of lol too.
In my previous job we were all given cholesterol tests, then interviewed on the results. Mine were virtually zero, the woman told me: "whatever it is you're doing, just keep doing it...." Which was nice, but I looked at her and thought "if you only knew". Knew just how much alcohol I was going home to every night. I really didn't want to keep doing what I was doing at all....

Anyway

Adv, canvassing? Interesting....I've recently been doing same thing. Last night a late txt arrived from candidate, looks like they're elected. It was such a pleasure.....went to bed so pleased, it was worthwhile. We have to wait until tonite for confirmation, but yeah, its looking good. I didn't really cold call, more worked to spread stuff through contacts....we had to make the best of limited resources.

Yes know the 3.a.m. thoughts well, the night fears. Sober, I sleep. Drinking, I just pass out for a few hours then surface for hours of restless torment. Doze...wake, sip...drink, repeat. Last time around, the drinking part was about as little fun as the night part of the cycle. A real bottom.

Cooking. French guy on TV last nite making prawn ravioli using wonton skins. What a good idea......
Morning Zura...
ok, off to do stuff,
later
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Old 10-27-2022, 03:54 PM
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Really feel for anyone who isn't sleeping well.
I still struggle with sleep even after quitting alcohol although I no longer wake at 3 am consumed with fear, shame and guilt, so that, I will count as an improvement.
Zura, willpower is an interesting concept. I used to believe that willpower could get me through anything, but I was utterly wrong, it didn't.

I am sorry to hear you are struggling advbike with things from the past, these things do come to haunt us and all we can do is let them flit through our minds and ...out again. We are here in the 'now' and that's what matters, having learned from the 'stuff' we have done in the past to make, better, wiser, happier, safer, and kinder choices. It is of course easier said than done but I see no other option!

The canvassing story made me laugh, I did something similar at our last election and utterly regretted it as I can think of nothing worse than having to knock on someone's door and speak to them, I did it but NEVER again!

I hope everyone is well. I am still indoors for the 3rd day with my poorly son but I hope tomorrow I can leave him for an hour just to stretch my legs and get some fresh air.

Best wishes to all.
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Old 10-27-2022, 06:58 PM
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Haha so funny that I'm not the only one who got roped into it. Last time - the 2020 election - I manned the phones. Lol, what a disaster. You're on your computer at home (covid times), in a "virtual" phone room with others.. and your phone is being connected to people and you see their name at the last minute and start talking. Most just hang up, lol. I just remember it being really frustrating although a few people were kind enough to chat and I told the team lead this time that I thought it was quite ineffective, so he said "we've got something better!" hahaha.. funny thing is now when I get some of those annoying solicitation calls I am more patient and whether I give something or not, I thank the volunteer on the other end for their efforts, haha, because I know how hard it is.

Thanks all, for the understanding words about the shame and regrets that come and go - I honestly believe it's one of those things that triggers me after some period of time to drink again, as I'm sure it does to many. Yet I know from experience that after several months they diminish - the key is getting that far.

No biking today but did my 40 pushups and some dumbells, and walked a couple miles in the nearby wash. Lots of critters and spiky plants, lol, have to watch your step or you will really have a thorny problem, haha.




And from some nearby hikes last week:






Best to all.

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Old 10-27-2022, 08:27 PM
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Oooff, all those election activities sound painful too me. I'm glad you got something out of yours though pline.

Advbike - We all make mistakes and can be self centred at times, thoughtless etc. I understand the shame. Our jobs are to transcend the shame, we felt the guilt, which may well have been an appropriate and healthy response, made reparations either directly or indirectly through changing our behaviour going forward, there's no need to punish ourselves for eternity. But yes as dusty said (I think) and we all know, easier said than done. But we deserve forgiveness and most of all self forgiveness and self compassion. I'm sure any decent human being we have wronged would not want us to carry the burdens of our misdeeds any longer than necessary. When those feelings come up I thank them for the gentle reminder to not recommit those offences and remind myself of all the good I've done as well.
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Old 10-27-2022, 09:46 PM
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So insightful, Zura. Thank you!

Our jobs are to transcend the shame, we felt the guilt, which may well have been an appropriate and healthy response, made reparations either directly or indirectly through changing our behaviour going forward, there's no need to punish ourselves for eternity.”

” I'm sure any decent human being we have wronged would not want us to carry the burdens of our misdeeds any longer than necessary.”


Those two lines really spoke to me.. Namaste, Zura
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Old 10-28-2022, 05:31 AM
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Day 8, HORRIBLE sleep day 2, going on second fast food coffee

Driving 9.5 hours yesterday. About 1 he to go this morning before getting home

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Old 10-28-2022, 06:06 AM
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14 months today! 🎉🎊❤️🤓
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Old 10-28-2022, 06:26 AM
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Originally Posted by Free2bme888 View Post
14 months today! 🎉🎊❤️🤓
AMAZING. I am so happy for you!
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Old 10-28-2022, 01:05 PM
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Good Morning 🌞

Pline - drinking certainly gets to a point where it's just not fun anymore. I found myself wondering why in earth I was still doing it 🤦.

Advbike - I meant to say those pics are lovely, must be an interesting place to live.

Dusty - I hope son is feeling better and also that you can get outdoors.

Free - congrats on 14 months 🎉🎊💪 Fantastic! Hope your sleep improves and congrats on getting to go home, although it sounds a long trip.

Mizz - Good.......*insert time of day. Hope everything is well in your world.

I think I'm feeling a bit better this morning. Hit a weird physical and emotional brick wall for a few days. I guess it's inevitable lol. I sometimes wonder if the weather affects me. But it's going to be a sunny, dry day ☺️.

Have a great sober weekend all ❤️.
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Old 10-28-2022, 03:46 PM
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Congratulations Free - 14 months is fantastic!

Loved the photo's advbike, how different your natural environment is to mine. It looks magical and mysterious to me, I would love to explore it.

Today I did get out for a couple of hours, but nowhere as beautiful as advbikes' pictures, instead ended up helping an elderly lady and her grandson. The lady had fallen over and cut her chin open and the little boy was beside himself with worry. All was well in the end. I seem to be constantly stumbling upon wounded people!

My son and I did some painting this afternoon and he created rather a wonderful canvas. Despite the fact he has been unwell it has been delightful spending so much time with him. This evening we watched 'The Batman', yes it is actually called THE Batman - I don't know why. It was actually quite enjoyable, in a dark, film noir kind of way.
I have had more sugar in the past few days than I have for a long time, and I am really noticing spikes in mood, and a sort of restless craving. I shall stop all sugar for a few days and see if I can restore some balance.
Daughter and husband return tomorrow, I have missed daughter, but not her chaos, it has been very noticeable that the house seems much less fraught with her not here. I can only pray she returns in a more positive frame of mind....not much chance.....!
Best wishes to all.
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Old 10-28-2022, 05:00 PM
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Long day today. Worked at the local poll for early voting. Arrived at 8:00AM, left at 6:30PM. Voter turnout was pretty good. Had no problems with crazy people. Scheduled to work for seven more days.

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Old 10-28-2022, 07:49 PM
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Congratulations, Free! 14 months is an amazing accomplishment! You have really worked for it, and your resilience now in times of stress is quite impressive!

I am on Day 10 since my last slip, which at one time was so difficult to get past - today I had nary a thought. However, something happened at the end of my walk the evening I took the pic of the cholla cactus in the wash. As I approached my home a bit later, which is up a hill, the sky was that beautiful dark blue-purple color of fall twilight, and there was a crescent moon above a few palm trees.. instantly I was transported back to a novel I read as a young man - Shadow of the Moon, by the author M.M Kaye. An epic romance novel that takes place in British India, and which really affected me at the time, along with another of her books, The Far Pavilions. I believe those books helped form my sense of romance and adventure, and that beautiful sky triggered the image I remembered from the cover of the book, and how wonderful the story was.. and for a split second the thought of a beer crossed my mind. It was instantaneous, and shows how strongly mental images and associated emotions can bring on that craving with me. Well I passed of course, but it was an interesting moment, and rather insightful as well.

Zura, I am so glad you're feeling a bit better. I am very sensitive to the weather and like variety in it.. but not too cold, haha..

Dusty, glad you were able to help those folks.. it does seem as if you are destined to come across, and rescue, those who have run into trouble, lol. You are clearly high on the empathy scale, perhaps an empath. Glad your son is doing better and is such a creative! I found your comments about the sugar interesting. I have been eating less of it, and I have coincidentally also noticed what I think is reduced anxiety. I'm not too worried about the canvassing tomorrow for example, whereas normally I think I might be.

Thanks to you both - yes the terrain here is unique. I fell in love with it when I first came here 5 years ago and still love the amazing light and unique flora and fauna. One of these days I'll post up some sunrise and sunset shots which can be quite stunning.

Dickensen - fantastic that you worked the polls.. and especially that you encountered no trouble, haha. Hard to believe we even have to think about these things. Great job, friend.

I will be off for an early morning motorcycle ride with my buddy tomorrow, then the door to door canvassing, so I will check in later tomorrow.

My best to all of you.

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Old 10-29-2022, 03:08 AM
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we continue here
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-part-7-a.html (180 Day Challenge Part 7)

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