180 Day Challenge Part 3
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Sonoran Desert & Southeast Asia
Posts: 6,561
Great observations Pline, and outstanding job on 3 weeks!
Fantastic pics Free! It's getting chilly here too, but not like that. I can still bike but need warmer clothes also.
Hope all are doing well, Thanksgiving Day tomorrow.
Fantastic pics Free! It's getting chilly here too, but not like that. I can still bike but need warmer clothes also.
Hope all are doing well, Thanksgiving Day tomorrow.
over hung over
Join Date: Mar 2021
Posts: 636
Morning......sliding into a new day.
Just back from an hour walk, trying to get into routine of doing an hour each morning.
Tired by the end of the day, sleeping deeply, but wake briefly now around 2, then sleep through to dawn, wake early
up about 6, 6.30. Occurred to me this morning that this is actually the drinking sleep pattern.....it still persists, just now
there are intervals of sleep in between. So its still working itself out....it is a very gradual come off this time.
Ok....spectacular pix Free....I guess that is Colorado, yes? Home of the Boreal toad. I don't associate frogs and toads
with that kind of climate.
Time to go and kick off the day.
Have a good one ppl.
Later
Just back from an hour walk, trying to get into routine of doing an hour each morning.
Tired by the end of the day, sleeping deeply, but wake briefly now around 2, then sleep through to dawn, wake early
up about 6, 6.30. Occurred to me this morning that this is actually the drinking sleep pattern.....it still persists, just now
there are intervals of sleep in between. So its still working itself out....it is a very gradual come off this time.
Ok....spectacular pix Free....I guess that is Colorado, yes? Home of the Boreal toad. I don't associate frogs and toads
with that kind of climate.
Time to go and kick off the day.
Have a good one ppl.
Later
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Sonoran Desert & Southeast Asia
Posts: 6,561
Happy Thanksgiving to All!
My life is far from perfect, but I have so much to be thankful for on this day. For me it is a day of reflection.
Wishing everyone a great day also. Eat lots, enjoy family and friends, be safe and sober.
My life is far from perfect, but I have so much to be thankful for on this day. For me it is a day of reflection.
Wishing everyone a great day also. Eat lots, enjoy family and friends, be safe and sober.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Arizona, USA
Posts: 1,598
Very great weekend with the kids. But came home completely void of motivation. I’m on day two of sleeping all day. Did not turn in my homework. Teacher said I could get partial credit if I turned in today but it is now 3:30pm and I’m still in bed. Ugh.
Still sober, and don’t feel like changing that.
Still sober, and don’t feel like changing that.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Sonoran Desert & Southeast Asia
Posts: 6,561
Have you eaten anything, BABM? I think you're just burned out, man. You really burn the candle at both ends, and you're a sensitive guy, so you're mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted after all that.. and now you need rest. You might also have some feelings and emotions associated with your lady friend that are overwhelming you. Believe me, I get that. Those feelings can be very powerful. Congrats on resisting the drink - believe it or not that also takes a lot out of us. Just do basic self care - food, and rest. Worry about the rest tomorrow.
I'm eating vegan pumpkin pie and reading the AVRT thread in Secular Recovery, while the wind howls outside.
I'm eating vegan pumpkin pie and reading the AVRT thread in Secular Recovery, while the wind howls outside.
over hung over
Join Date: Mar 2021
Posts: 636
Sat Morning.
Hope you're up and about again BABM....take it easy. Assignments can wait until you're ready to focus on that again.
Saturday.....the difficult day is here again. Need a plan, something different to engage with, but having trouble finding anything specific. Guess the other way is to just do a normal day and try and ignore that its the weekend. Just continue on with what I've been doing any way.
Living and working solo means that you have to involve and engage yourself all the time. There's no other input, nobody elses' needs to address, to help with. You have to provide it all for yourself. This is where the alcohol comes in. When you get tired of doing this, run out of energy and generally just get tired of it, then alcohol is just time out, time off, from the constant self maintenance that is solo living.
This is what makes long sober such a hard place to get to.
Hope you're up and about again BABM....take it easy. Assignments can wait until you're ready to focus on that again.
Saturday.....the difficult day is here again. Need a plan, something different to engage with, but having trouble finding anything specific. Guess the other way is to just do a normal day and try and ignore that its the weekend. Just continue on with what I've been doing any way.
Living and working solo means that you have to involve and engage yourself all the time. There's no other input, nobody elses' needs to address, to help with. You have to provide it all for yourself. This is where the alcohol comes in. When you get tired of doing this, run out of energy and generally just get tired of it, then alcohol is just time out, time off, from the constant self maintenance that is solo living.
This is what makes long sober such a hard place to get to.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Sonoran Desert & Southeast Asia
Posts: 6,561
Pline.. your insights are really spot on. You manage to find wisdom out of what is a mess of tasks, projects, and oftentimes procrastination for me. You're absolutely right about living solo - we alone have to organize and hold ourselves accountable for all of it, and it can get old.
Fantastic job of sorting it out and sticking to priorities my friend. Find something fun to reward yourself with that doesn't come in a bottle. Maybe a sailboat or a motorcycle, haha. I love sailing and have been thinking about it lately (another distraction I don't need, unfortunately).
I do need some cardio, though.. and it's a nice day, so I'm off to turn those pedals about 10,000 times.
A great weekend to all.
Fantastic job of sorting it out and sticking to priorities my friend. Find something fun to reward yourself with that doesn't come in a bottle. Maybe a sailboat or a motorcycle, haha. I love sailing and have been thinking about it lately (another distraction I don't need, unfortunately).
I do need some cardio, though.. and it's a nice day, so I'm off to turn those pedals about 10,000 times.
A great weekend to all.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Location: Where I’ve longed to be all my life…..here, now.
Posts: 7,338
Awesome everyone!
Im 50% there at day 90 today…..
Just sayin’, after I slipped in mid August, it has been tougher this time. Slower for sleep to come back, slower for body to respond with shedding the inflammation.
Noticing my integrity, calmer self, lacking self loathing, and welcoming the emotions, comfortable and uncomfortable.
Yesterday walked the steep five miler walk by myself, although it was 30F, the sun was out and I just wore the dork reflector vest 🦺🦺🦺🦺🦺
Today made it to Denver, no problems, something was in the front tire and we were losing pressure, but Dr Free just went and got it fixed.
Im 50% there at day 90 today…..
Just sayin’, after I slipped in mid August, it has been tougher this time. Slower for sleep to come back, slower for body to respond with shedding the inflammation.
Noticing my integrity, calmer self, lacking self loathing, and welcoming the emotions, comfortable and uncomfortable.
Yesterday walked the steep five miler walk by myself, although it was 30F, the sun was out and I just wore the dork reflector vest 🦺🦺🦺🦺🦺
Today made it to Denver, no problems, something was in the front tire and we were losing pressure, but Dr Free just went and got it fixed.
Member
Join Date: May 2021
Location: England
Posts: 1,850
It's still Friday night here, and reading Plines' comments about doing sober solo have me thinking . I lived alone, through choice, for a long time before Mr DF and it was the time were I drank the most, I drank and drank and drank because there was no one to stop me, or just because I could, or because at some level I was unhappy, lost, adrift.
Could I have done sober on my own? No I don't think so, for the reasons Pline has stated, the sheer effort of solo living and being accountable would have been too much at that time. I was not self aware enough to do it.
Just wanting to say to those that are doing this solo, I really can imagine how hard it is, and I am in awe of your strength in doing this.
Could I have done sober on my own? No I don't think so, for the reasons Pline has stated, the sheer effort of solo living and being accountable would have been too much at that time. I was not self aware enough to do it.
Just wanting to say to those that are doing this solo, I really can imagine how hard it is, and I am in awe of your strength in doing this.
over hung over
Join Date: Mar 2021
Posts: 636
Congrats Free....that's really good going.
Dusty:.....dunno know about the strength thing. Today I'm really not feeling it at all.
Which is mad, slept well, feel physically good, its a beautiful day out.....but just want that time out for a bit.
For a long time I've just wanted to get out of it on the weekends. Sat afternoon, a bit on Sunday....then back to the
other life for the rest of the time. Have believed that if I dont start Friday, leave it to late Sat afternoon, beer o'clock as
it was known when I was married, then it can't get too out of hand and the other life can resume on Monday. Monday a bit hungover....so maybe Tuesday.
Really trying to talk myself out of this today. Then you get sick of doing that too.
Then its off to the races again....
Dusty:.....dunno know about the strength thing. Today I'm really not feeling it at all.
Which is mad, slept well, feel physically good, its a beautiful day out.....but just want that time out for a bit.
For a long time I've just wanted to get out of it on the weekends. Sat afternoon, a bit on Sunday....then back to the
other life for the rest of the time. Have believed that if I dont start Friday, leave it to late Sat afternoon, beer o'clock as
it was known when I was married, then it can't get too out of hand and the other life can resume on Monday. Monday a bit hungover....so maybe Tuesday.
Really trying to talk myself out of this today. Then you get sick of doing that too.
Then its off to the races again....
Member
Join Date: May 2021
Location: England
Posts: 1,850
Hang on in there pline - you are doing a great job. I totally get the wanting to get out of it, I felt that a lot in the first few months, I guess its just so exhausting having to be 'present' all the time. Eat something nice, get through the day, get through the night, and it does get easier.....
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Arizona, USA
Posts: 1,598
A “sobering” message from BABM…day 165 and sleep is worse than ever. Physical symptoms are as bad as ever. Fatigue, anxiety, depression, I’ve got it all. But fool me once, shame on you. Fool me 1,000,000 times, shame on me. No effing way do I think booze will help. It got so bad for me that the VERY short respite that getting annihilated offered was nary worth the living hell on earth that inevitably followed.
Anyone kicking it around in their head, I don’t follow the conventional orthodoxy that says “don’t do it”, “don’t drink no matter what”. If you still think that you can get away with it, just for a Friday or a Saturday then maybe you need to suffer more. I’ve suffered enough. But it wasn’t until I was 100% certain that the bottle was a lie that I could have any lasting sobriety. When I pick up, all bets are off. Wait, that’s not true. There is statistical certainty that shame, anxiety, fear, panic and incomprehensible demoralization are to follow. There is no dice roll, it is absolute. That’s how I drink. That’s what happens with me. Is anyone reading this different? Does that bottle solve your problems? Does it all get better? Or are you like I was, a junkie that will trade my future for a quick hit. All to escape. To escape what we ask? To escape ourselves. I realized that all I’ve been running from is me. Living life on life’s terms. Sitting with whatever emotions that arise. Accepting that what will be will be and that I don’t have control. And deciding that that is ok.
I am not living my best life today. I still struggle. BUT I don’t make it worse. And that’s the best I can do today.
Anyone kicking it around in their head, I don’t follow the conventional orthodoxy that says “don’t do it”, “don’t drink no matter what”. If you still think that you can get away with it, just for a Friday or a Saturday then maybe you need to suffer more. I’ve suffered enough. But it wasn’t until I was 100% certain that the bottle was a lie that I could have any lasting sobriety. When I pick up, all bets are off. Wait, that’s not true. There is statistical certainty that shame, anxiety, fear, panic and incomprehensible demoralization are to follow. There is no dice roll, it is absolute. That’s how I drink. That’s what happens with me. Is anyone reading this different? Does that bottle solve your problems? Does it all get better? Or are you like I was, a junkie that will trade my future for a quick hit. All to escape. To escape what we ask? To escape ourselves. I realized that all I’ve been running from is me. Living life on life’s terms. Sitting with whatever emotions that arise. Accepting that what will be will be and that I don’t have control. And deciding that that is ok.
I am not living my best life today. I still struggle. BUT I don’t make it worse. And that’s the best I can do today.
over hung over
Join Date: Mar 2021
Posts: 636
"If you still think that you can get away with it, just for a Friday or a Saturday then maybe you need to suffer more. I’ve suffered enough."
Oh yeah BABM....I get that. Sorry to read your symptoms still with you. It reads like you've had a stressful time.
But what you said hits the spot.
I'd sit there with the filthy hangover thinking "I want something better for myself than this"
Just have to gently ride it through to the early evening.
Thanks for the encouragement and support......this is the hardest day of the week. Working week days are ok, there's a rhythm and pattern, weekends are just like going around the dark side of the moon.
Oh yeah BABM....I get that. Sorry to read your symptoms still with you. It reads like you've had a stressful time.
But what you said hits the spot.
I'd sit there with the filthy hangover thinking "I want something better for myself than this"
Just have to gently ride it through to the early evening.
Thanks for the encouragement and support......this is the hardest day of the week. Working week days are ok, there's a rhythm and pattern, weekends are just like going around the dark side of the moon.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Arizona, USA
Posts: 1,598
Originally Posted by pline 
"If you still think that you can get away with it, just for a Friday or a Saturday then maybe you need to suffer more. I’ve suffered enough."
Oh yeah BABM....I get that. Sorry to read your symptoms still with you. It reads like you've had a stressful time.
But what you said hits the spot.
I'd sit there with the filthy hangover thinking "I want something better for myself than this"
Just have to gently ride it through to the early evening.
Thanks for the encouragement and support......this is the hardest day of the week. Working week days are ok, there's a rhythm and pattern, weekends are just like going around the dark side of the moon.
Oh yeah BABM....I get that. Sorry to read your symptoms still with you. It reads like you've had a stressful time.
But what you said hits the spot.
I'd sit there with the filthy hangover thinking "I want something better for myself than this"
Just have to gently ride it through to the early evening.
Thanks for the encouragement and support......this is the hardest day of the week. Working week days are ok, there's a rhythm and pattern, weekends are just like going around the dark side of the moon.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Sonoran Desert & Southeast Asia
Posts: 6,561
You can do it Pline. I just rolled up 30 miles and it felt so good to push hard on the way back. Today is my mom's birthday, and thinking of her as I rode, I realized I need to be more open to the acts of grace that are constantly occurring. The sounds of the birds, the beautiful day, my health, even the fit woman cyclist who passed me and said hello, haha. There are two ways of looking at life and I choose to see the good and fortuitous in it.
Like BABM suggested - eat a good meal - some meat and potatoes. You will feel awesome in the morning.
Like BABM suggested - eat a good meal - some meat and potatoes. You will feel awesome in the morning.
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