OneThingAtATime

Thanks Willow, we do love our wild life here. To me, my husband has way over done the security system, but then again we pick up the funniest things. The only thing we haven't had around here are deer, but they are out there.

We just ate an awfully rich dinner. I made Italian sausage and peppers and we had them on some good Italian rolls. We have a bakery around here that is absolutely wonderful. Their cakes are literally to die for and I have to use great restraint when going in there. Sometimes I fail but we enjoy it so much.

I have given up on my back. I broke down today and put a capsaicin patch on with added capsaicin. It burns like you would not believe, but you get used to it, especially when it relieves pain. I still have a great deal of nerve pain but better relief then the Lyrica is giving me. I am backing off the Lyrica starting tomorrow, since I hate this stuff, and I am going to look for an opportunity to see my neuro/spine surgeon. Enough is enough of this. I just have my husband's medical issues to get through and the wedding, then I can think of being laid up for a bit. It would be well worth it. It may coincide with the holidays but holidays are not big here at the moment. Getting us straightened out is.

I am thinking, using my best medical expertise, that the disk has blown at the sacral vertebrae. It was on its last legs anyhow and this pain is similar to that. I learn a lot on the internet and I am about 50-65% correct on these things. I have been at this for a while.

Son and girl friend put me on a group text today. She has named me Mama and my last name. Holy cow. I am just going with it, absolutely no reason to make waves there. Their excitement is cute? It would be cute if I thought it would last, so I am just going with it. They are talking to me, at the moment. She wants to know if I picked out my dress. I lied. She will see it when I get it. Once it is bought the deed is done. Burgundy will not suit her at all, but it will me.

I wanted a glass of wine so badly tonight 🙄. I went ahead and grabbed a Gatorade before it could go any further. Stress does try to find an escape hatch were it can. It is not finding it in a bottle this time. I may need to get my knitting needles out and make something or just threaten others with them, depending on how I am feeling.

I am calling it...38 days sober! Entertaining no idea that I can have just one.

OneThing

Citrus

Popping in real quick to say Happy 4th!! Just got home from the lake (adding a pic below), showered and headed out for dinner and fireworks. It's been a lovely day, tiring but lovely. Little niggle from AV but I am so excited for this to be my first sober 4th in 4 years! I've wished to be strong enough the last 3... here I am, no turning back now!
Love to all of you! ❤💙

venuscat

That news makes me so happy dear Citrus. Enjoy honey 🧡💛💚

venuscat

Your post just appeared for me One Thing....

Hang in there honey....we can only look after our own corner, and hope and pray for the rest. xx

venuscat

Have a good day dear Willow 🧡

Dee74

Really glad and proud to see you guys hanging in there

D

Plenny

Ooof sorry to hear about all the pain going around. I always hope you will be relieved of it soon

Phoebe good luck with the hubs

I am just winding down on my 4th of July. I have to say I’m really proud of myself today and happy with how it turned out. There’s minor things I can be hard on myself about but I am learning how to sand out those rough corners. I’ve been wanting to list the things I did on a good day so I hope you won’t mind me sharing

Woke up reasonably early and weedwhacked
Made some really good coffee
Took the pup to the dog park (he hadn’t played with other dogs in two weeks because he was ill)
Got in contact with a fellow in the program here
Ate a very good late breakfast
Worked on my painting while I attended a zoom meeting
Rested
Shopped for new shelves for my wall
Walked a friend’s dog for her while she was on a day trip
Bought mouse traps
Bought a hostess gift for my coworker
Went to said coworker’s barbecue (brought my dog)
Came home before dark and hung up my shelves, and went through all of my little personal things on my dresser and moved some furniture around
Did all the laundry and actually hung things up to dry

Basically my point here is that I always wonder how anyone gets anything they need done in a day. I did well today. Doing normal human adult things. And I felt like a person. I thought a lot about today being “In-Dependence Day”. Like, freedom from my addiction. It felt good to celebrate that

Willow00

Thanks Suze and Dee

Awesome work Citrus! Lovely photo too!

One Thing that sounds like a really busy day!

I had a pretty good day today, less AV chatter than over the weekend. Reading on SR really helps banish the AV. So does eating. I can’t just eat constantly, but sometimes it really helps when the noise is loud. Being hungry, angry, lonely, tired, sad or stressed don’t help. I’m working on figuring it all out without drinking, which is a good thing. Tonight I’m just tired now. Another early night is on the cards. I’m having a camomile tea with honey, then a shower, then bed. Goodnight everyone

OneThingAtATime

Good Morning All,

It sounds like everyone had a great 4th!

Good for you Citrus, not drinking! Your picture is beautiful.

Good for you Plenny, your list made me tired! I loved hanging laundry out to dry when the kids were in the house. It is amazing how much it saves not using that dryer. The sheets were always so good to climb into at the end of the day.

Phoebe, I hope your neck is feeling better.

Will we get Elsa or not? It is anyone's guess, truly. The forecast keeps moving all over the place but we wont really know till it crosses Cuba. Thankfully my daughter is home today so she can help bring things in. We love our yard and our porch and spend so much time on the porch when it isn't raining, but it turns into a lot of things that have to be brought in. We do have it down to a science and we know what fits where without us tripping over it. I bet we will have it all in the house in about 45 min. Yes, we are that good. I am doubting that we will get it that bad, but one never knows.

Leg is just killing me, gee this really is a pain in the rump. Doc appt for me next week and we will go from there. Husband has way too much going on for me to actually commit to any procedure. Something has to be better then this Lyrica. I am hope a lot of it is weather related. One can hope anyhow.

Today will be another sober day, 39. I look forward to 40.

I hope everyone has a great, sober day!

OneThing

Dee74

I remember it took longer than I wanted for my nerve pain to subside.
I still hope the Lyrica will kick in for you soon OneThing

D

Willow00

I just realised it was Plenny who had a really busy day. Oops sorry One Thing and Plenny. I didn’t realise until I read your last post One Thing.

Plenny I sometimes wonder how people manage to get everything done and also work full time. There’s always more things to fo!

One Thing, I hope you can get some relief soon from the pain. It seems to have been going on so long for you. I hope the doc has some suggestions to help ease the pain for you. I also meant to say before, well done on choosing gatorade over wine, a way better choice

OneThingAtATime

Thank you all so much Dee. This Lyrica isn't doing it for me, not really, the pain is getting worse and I am experiencing weakness in my leg now. My MRI did show forward slippage of L5-S1 at 4 mm. That is a lot.

I know the insurance company makes you go through less invasive procedures first, but this is ridiculous. I am a bit over 4 weeks out from the procedure and the nerve pain is worse. Before the procedure, I didn't have any real nerve pain to speak of. It all stayed localized as an insanely hurting lower back. I could handle that better then this.

I know I am impatient. It took 4 years of pain to get my neck straightened out. I just don't have the patience to wait on my back when I know there is a solution. The MRI I had done on my back was stuff that nightmares are made of. It took two radiologists to read it correctly, neither one of them critiqued my picture nicely.

Willow, no worries on getting the names mixed up. I was just happy that you thought I could that much! I used to, I really did. I want to get that way again. I have friends my age that leave me in the dust. I am used to working hard and getting things done. I do not want to lose hope that I can't do it again.

phoebe64

Also hoping you can get past this pain, Onething. Hauling in porch furniture doesn’t sound ideal for that. I know I can’t move stuff like that with my back.

Plenny, that’s a great and busy day!

Hi Willow! Glad you survived the stepteen’s group of friends!

I had a nice time yesterday. J was very cooperative about leaving when I wanted. Sort of, lol. I still had to watch him. It was getting towards sunset, and he grabbed a fresh tall can. If I hadn’t been there, to ask if it were a new can, glancing at my watch, he’d have opened it. As it was, he switched it out for a short can, with my ok. But, still feel a bit icky having to “mother” my spouse. We’ve always been rather independent in our relationship.

I was actually intensely questioned about my drinking seltzer by one friend. It was weird and actually funny. She’s a very inquisitive person, and earlier, another friend was teasing her about that. She rapid fires questions when someone talks. It’s more funny than annoying. She’s very gregarious and kind. So, she noted me st next to her, with a can of seltzer in my hand. She nodded toward it, and asked if I were driving. I should have just said yes, lol. But, we’re friends and I shared that I was trying not to drink, in a general sense, due to my health and diverticulitis, and such. She couldn’t wrap her head around it. “So, you still have a few on the weekend, right?” Umm, not since January, though I’ve cheated a few times, I said(I can’t lie, snd I have had some slips). And she revisited the “...but how about the weekend?” I think she rephrased it a few times. Lol. It was funny. Turns out, after more discussion, she had a recent dr appointment where she’d gained weight, had hypertension, and generally, is having a lot of anxiety about her health as a result. She’s actually generally fit and healthy, so it was upsetting. So, we had a good chat about her anxiety because I’ve definitely had that! So, it was a good conversation ultimately.

Im tired today. I did binge a bit on sweets. I’m supposed to meet a friend for lunch today. She texted me at 7:44am and again at 7:55am to confirm, and then set a time. 😳. I only got out of bed at 8:20 or so. She knows it’s a bit dependent on my tummy issues since I’m back on meds. I can meet her regardless, but still not sure about what I’ll be eating, or not, today.

Daughter will do her class, which is remote, from home today, before going back to her apartment. I’ll be back to see her before she goes. And, it’s good to get out of the house so she has more quiet for that.

Weather looks perfect for today! Hope you all have a good day/evening. 💕

Plenny

Phoebe that is so hard. The spouse part. I attended AlAnon for years because of that. It helped immensely. It freed me to focus on myself and allow my ex to do his thing. I highly recommend it for anyone in a relationship

Nice job navigating your friend. I actually really enjoy those conversations. It’s enlightening for everyone. Sometimes I get frustrated when people don’t get it but mostly people are cool, familiar with the concept, or just curious

unfortunately my crew has gotten a bit serious whenever I mention my sobriety and I wish they’d lighten up, it would help me. But I suppose they just care? I just want to start having fun again!

My AA friends are fun and we get to laugh about it all. So I do laugh. But come on, people. I’m sure I’ll be old news in a few months and we’ll have fun again

phoebe64

Thanks, Plenny. I don’t use the word alcoholic or sober, because I do think then the crowd would get weird about it. So, I say it’s about my health, which is entirely true. At this point in my journey, if I could drink without any health consequences, I might. However, the ill effects outweigh the “fun” so it’s just not a sensible or responsible choice. That’s getting more set into my mind. There’s other things I avoid because they make me feel bad, like certain antihistamines. They make me jittery, make my heart race, and I feel anxious. Well, alcohol needs to be on that list. It gives me hangovers, hypertension, anxiety, and is bad for my gut. It’s got to go on the list of stuff to avoid because it makes me feel gross.

From there, I am growing to realize how much better life is without it. There’s better sleep, overall better mood, weight loss, more productivity. I think I am processing it better this time by remembering that it’s really such a brief and fleeting feeling and the consequences can be very grave. That’s not to say I don’t struggle watching everyone drink. I do still feel vulnerable too.

Citrus

Everyone is doing so well here. I really am excited for us all to have left booze in the rearview!
My morning would have sucked if I drank last night. Little one had a couple of cavities fixed, on a chip on his front tooth that he has been self conscious about for the past few months. He is good and numb, but said "look Mama I've got my smile back!" good cuddles as we watched Luca for the 10th time when we got home too. Middle got his braces brackets and spacers on, got a good pic of him with the thing that holds your mouth open good blackmail for later! He's happy and learning to adjust. Poor thing has to have 4 adult teeth pulled in a few weeks to make room.
We are just about to head for the lake again, daughter told the in-laws today that she and her bf would come if we went again, plus oldest son wanted to go. Daughter backed out.... oh well. I'm a little pink on my legs from yesterday so I'll have to be a little careful. Glad to spend some more time in the sun and water with my boys though!

venuscat

Wo, there is so much going on in this thread!

Have a nice day Citrus. ❤️

Willow00

One Thing I really hope the doc gives you a plan going forward to help reduce your pain Pain makes everything else more difficult to deal with. Hopefully they have some more ideas.

hi Suze How are you feeling today? I hope your neck is feeling a little better x

Plenny and Phoebe, when I’m talking with friends and acquaintances I usually just say that I don’t drink anymore because it’s not good for my health, that it makes me sick and feel awful and also that when I drink I tend to drink too much, so it’s better to just not drink at all. And that I feel so much better when I don’t drink

Citrus, what you said, “my morning would have sucked if I drank last night” is exactly what I was thinking yesterday after the AV had been harassing me all weekend.
Nobody ever regrets not drinking yesterday! I keep reminding myself of this

Better go and get ready for work. I just had a lovely long weekend so it’s back into it today. Have a good day (or night) everyone

Dee74

I’m sorry you are getting worse not better OneThing, I know you gave a lot going on right now, but if surgery is the solution I hope you can find a way to gave that happen soon.

D

OneThingAtATime

Wine:30!

I am doing good though. Left overs tonight. We want to kind of clear the fridge out some. Who knows about Elsa? These things are not as predictable as one would like. We brought in little things that could easily be swept off with a gust of good wind. We are waiting on the other things. The second year we were here we would bring everything in and it looked the house was empty from the outside. We are learning.

Phoebe, it sounds like you did a great job at the party. I have read a little about Al Anon and one thing that stuck with me is the 3 C's. You can't Control how much some drinks, you don't Cause their need to drink, and you can't Cure their need to drink. I think of that sometimes and it does put things in perspective for me.

Phoebe, you handled that conversation really well! This is not quite similar but I had a friend, once upon a time ago, who would stop by and have a few glasses of wine with me (mostly when she mad at her husband). She stopped by once when I had been a few weeks sober the first time I had quit. She was surprised to see me bright eyed and sober mentioned that I wasn't drinking wine. I said no, I hadn't had a glass in a couple of weeks and she had the nerve to start walking through my house and checking behind chairs and stuff to see if I had a glass hidden. I was shocked till I realized that she had a real problem and a few weeks later she admitted to me. You probably really gave that woman something to think about.

Citrus, the kids sure are keeping you busy. I miss those days. I hope you have fun at the lake. I am sorry about your son having to get teeth pulled. My daughter had to have that done and it cut down on her time in braces. Her teeth are beautiful now.

Pain is still with me, my constant companion. I have waffled between being extremely mad over the whole thing to just being patient till I get to next week and have my appt. One thing is for sure, I am tired of this d^mn Lyrica! I have had my fill of it now and I am more then ready to get off of it. It does dull the pain so it is what I have for now. I synced calendars with my husband's appts and we will go from there. This is another hurtle get over.

I hope everyone has a good, sober evening!

OneThing