Alba Diary Part 2
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,384
Alba Diary Part 2
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 739
It's late Sat night here is Scotland. I'm sober tonight but after a period of sobriety I've been drunk 6 out the last 7 nights consuming a total of 190 units of alcohol. I'm posting this for accountability. The recycling bins are now nearly full 4 days into a 14 day cycle.
Every time I drink there's physical changes that happen to my body. My eyes are dry. My throat is dry. I have liver spots appearing on my hands. I'm scared of the concequences of drinking. I enjoy drinking. I cannot drink.
Drinking also destroys you mental status (as well all know) I'm feeling super low tonight and It's not me thinking just the aftermath of Heineken gobbling.
I spend the morning listening to a customer talk about how his father died at 53 from liver failure. "We all tried to help him but in the end alcoholics must help themselves" .
Today is sadly only day 2.
Every time I drink there's physical changes that happen to my body. My eyes are dry. My throat is dry. I have liver spots appearing on my hands. I'm scared of the concequences of drinking. I enjoy drinking. I cannot drink.
Drinking also destroys you mental status (as well all know) I'm feeling super low tonight and It's not me thinking just the aftermath of Heineken gobbling.
I spend the morning listening to a customer talk about how his father died at 53 from liver failure. "We all tried to help him but in the end alcoholics must help themselves" .
Today is sadly only day 2.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Scotland
Posts: 3,837
The important thing is that you are starting over and you have us all behind you. You stopped again after six days and it could have gone on longer.
You have this in you Alba and I know that, if you keep trying and putting in the work you have been, that it will stick. Chin up pal
xx
You have this in you Alba and I know that, if you keep trying and putting in the work you have been, that it will stick. Chin up pal
xx
Not The Way way, Just the way
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: US
Posts: 1,413
Originally Posted by Backtogood 
Keep moving forward, we know what has to be done...for our health, for our kids, for ourselves.
Your post here from five days ago points you as going in the right direction.
Am I right? You’ve been around SR for a while and you know the damage two alcohol dependent parents can inflict on a child, let alone single child. So, let us know things are going OK.
GT
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 739
Last Monday I joined the local golf club. I came off the course high as a kite came home and watched several episodes of Parks and Recreation on the TV. I was feeling great. I was planning a revisit to a sport I represented my country at as a 16 year old.
Tonight I'm drunk and at the end of a 5 day drinking session. I've a damaged liver. I'm not even certain I'll wake up tomorrow but I've drank tonight because I needed a "pick me up" from the sleepy itchy mess I was earlier.
It's a simple solution but a hard game.
It should be the opposite but I've found it far harder to quit once my liver's started to struggle as its the only way I've found normal levels of energy.
Tonight I'm drunk and at the end of a 5 day drinking session. I've a damaged liver. I'm not even certain I'll wake up tomorrow but I've drank tonight because I needed a "pick me up" from the sleepy itchy mess I was earlier.
It's a simple solution but a hard game.
It should be the opposite but I've found it far harder to quit once my liver's started to struggle as its the only way I've found normal levels of energy.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,384
Yeah finding booze is the only thing that will pick you up was a sure sign for me my addiction was progressing and my body was taking a lot of hits.
Have faith that not drinking will help your mind and body (and liver) heal - you may have to deal with a few months of low energy but it's better than being 6 feet under.
D
Have faith that not drinking will help your mind and body (and liver) heal - you may have to deal with a few months of low energy but it's better than being 6 feet under.
D
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 739
Originally Posted by Dee74
Yeah finding booze is the only thing that will pick you up was a sure sign for me my addiction was progressing and my body was taking a lot of hits.
Have faith that not drinking will help your mind and body (and liver) heal - you may have to deal with a few months of low energy but it's better than being 6 feet under.
D
Have faith that not drinking will help your mind and body (and liver) heal - you may have to deal with a few months of low energy but it's better than being 6 feet under.
D
I've emptied the 4 beers I didn't drink last night (because I always have to have more than I'm capable of drinking to calm the AV who's scared I might run out) before I passed out on the sofa.
So... Day 1 again. Tonight I'll be visiting the beach not the beer shop.
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Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Scotland
Posts: 3,837
Originally Posted by AlbaSober
Thanks Dee, and of course you're right.
I've emptied the 4 beers I didn't drink last night (because I always have to have more than I'm capable of drinking to calm the AV who's scared I might run out) before I passed out on the sofa.
So... Day 1 again. Tonight I'll be visiting the beach not the beer shop.
I've emptied the 4 beers I didn't drink last night (because I always have to have more than I'm capable of drinking to calm the AV who's scared I might run out) before I passed out on the sofa.
So... Day 1 again. Tonight I'll be visiting the beach not the beer shop.
PS you must have been pretty damn good at golf?!
xx
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